Written by Joe Janes
7/28/09
191 of 365
CAST
Jack, 40-50s
Thomas, 20s
(Lights up on Jack wearing a tucked in polo shirt and khaki pants. His belly barely keeps from spilling over his belt buckle. He carries a nice brief case and has a blue tooth phone in one ear.)
JACK (on phone)
Stall them, Mickey… I’m just outside. I’ll be in in a few minutes... Get ‘em some coffee, get ‘em some blow jobs, I don’t care. …Don’t lecture me on how important this is. I know how important this is. (Thomas, a young, black man carrying a milk crate, a rag and a few bottles of shoe polish walks out.)
THOMAS
Shine your shoes?JACK
Thomas!...I have to go. (He hangs up his blue tooth.) Thomas! Do me. Here’s five bucks. I’ve been waiting for you. (He hands Thomas a five-dollar bill.)THOMAS
Sure thing. (He starts to shine Jack’s shoes.) How’s your day been going?JACK
Better now that you’re here. I was about to crap my pants if you didn’t show up.THOMAS
Well, I know I do good work…JACK
You have no idea how valuable your work is. This is going to be my lucky day. Have you made enough money to go to school, yet?THOMAS
I’ve been taking night classes. Still a few years off from getting an associate’s degree-JACK
-in Business Administration. (Thomas looks at him quizzically) You don’t remember me, do you?THOMAS
You look kind of familiar…JACK
I’m a businessman. A year ago. Almost to the day. Right on this spot. You shined my shoes before I gave a big sales presentation in that building.THOMAS
I shine lots of shoes, Mister.JACK
Call me Jack. Call me Jack… I got that big sale. Saved my ass. Saved the company’s ass. THOMAS
Congratulations. I’m sure that had everything to do with my excellent shoe shining skills. JACK
It sort of did. The CEO complimented me on my shoes. Before he even shook my hand. I think he’s got some kind of shoe fixation or something. Anyway, from that point on, I could do no wrong with that guy. They’re back today to discuss whether or not to renew with us.THOMAS
I see. So, I am an integral part of your strategy to win another sale.JACK
Doesn’t hurt. I just know that if I went in there and lost the sale without getting a shine from you, I’d cut off my feet to spite my face.(Jack finishes one shoe, but hesitates before doing the other.)
JACK (continuing)
What’s the matter?THOMAS
Oh. Did you want both shoes done?JACK
Yes! Of course I do.THOMAS
Because, you only gave me five bucks. It’s been a year. My rates have changed.JACK (taking out wallet)
How much is it, now?THOMAS
Well, it’s five bucks for the first shoe, five thousand for the second.JACK
Thomas! You can’t do this to me. I’m already late for the sales meeting.THOMAS
Be a shame for you to walk in there with only one shiny, shiny shoe. What would a CEO make of that?JACK
You’re trying to rob me.THOMAS
Just providing a valuable service.(Jack’s phone rings.)
JACK (on phone)
I’ll be there in a second, Mickey!... I’m getting my shoes shined, but don’t tell them that! Tell them I’m stuck in traffic. …What! Are you serious? God dimmit. (He hangs up and waves up to the building across the street. Thomas notices and waves, too.) Well, at least the CEO gave me a thumbs up. That’s a good sign.THOMAS
Bet he’s wondering why I haven’t done the other shoe, yet.JACK (smiling through his teeth)
All right, cocksucker. Here’s how we’re going to play this. You finish my other shoe, I go in there and make the sale, I come back out and we transfer five grand into your bank account. You okay with that?(Thomas starts to quickly polish the other shoe.)
THOMAS
Give me your wallet.JACK
I’m not giving you my wallet.THOMAS
For security. How am I supposed to know you’ll come back? Especially if you don’t make the sale.JACK
You’ll just have to trust me.THOMAS
You’ll just have to trust me that I won’t spill this bottle of black polish onto your oxblood dress shoes.(Jack quickly stoops and slaps his wallet into Thomas’s hands as if he were shaking them; all the while still aware he’s being watched.)
JACK
Here you go, Thomas. Meet me back here in an hour. You better be here.THOMAS
Hey, I’m not a thief.(Jack exits, smiling and waving to the building.)
THOMAS (taking the cash out of the wallet and pocketing it)
I’m a businessman. (Blackout)
