Written by Joe Janes
6/17/09
150 of 365
CAST:
Mother, 60s
Gabriel, 30s
Tabitha. 20s
Buck, 40s
Katrina, 30s
Katrina’s father, 60s
Fogo de Chao server, 20s
(Lights up on Gabriel and his mother in a coffee shop. Katrina, wearing a yellow bonnet, screams, running by the window behind them. Gabriel sees this. His mother holds out her teacup and saucer to him.)
GABRIEL
Did you see-?MOTHER
Try this jasmine tea, Gabriel.GABRIEL
Oh, that’s okay-MOTHER
My arm is getting tired.GABRIEL
Oh, okay. (He sips.) That’s nice, Mom.MOTHER
Don’t you want to order one? Go ahead and order one. It’s your birthday.GABRIEL
You just want me to find another reason to talk to the barista. MOTHER
She’s a cutey pie. Couldn’t you just picture her covered in meringue? GABRIEL
Yes. I could.MOTHER
And I didn’t see a ring on her finger. GABRIEL
I’m fine with my soy latte.MOTHER
Okay. Just thought being your birthday and all. Live it up, Gabriel. Oh, that reminds me. Speaking of living it up.(She reaches under the table and brings out a gift box.)
GABRIEL
Oh, you didn’t have to do that, Mom. MOTHER
Of course, I did. You’re my boy. You’re a man. A fully-grown man. Living alone. With cats. But you’ll always be my boy. Open it.(He does and he pulls out a black beret.)
GABRIEL
It’s a… beret?MOTHER
Not just any beret, Gabriel. That beret belonged to your father. He was wearing it when we met. He looked very dashing in it and you will, too. Try it on.GABRIEL
Oh, boy. (He reluctantly puts it on) Thanks, Mom. MOTHER (adjusting it on his head)
Oh, my. Look at you. You are going to break a lot of hearts with that beret.TABITHA
You folks doing all right over here?MOTHER
It’s Gabriel’s birthday.GABRIEL
Mom.TABITHA
Happy Birthday, Gabriel. That is the most fantastic beret I have ever seen on a man. May I give you a birthday kiss?GABRIEL
Well, I-TABITHA
If you say no, I will die.MOTHER
Say yes.GABRIEL
Yes!(Tabitha gets in his lap and gives him a big ol’ kiss. It lasts for a while. Buck, the manager enters.)
BUCK
Tabitha! This is highly inappropriate.(Tabitha gets up quickly and adjusts herself.)
TABITHA
I’m sorry, Buck. I just couldn’t help myself.BUCK
Turn in your apron, young lady.(Tabitha takes off her apron.)
TABITHA
Buck. I need this job-GABRIEL
Give her another chance; it’s my fault, really-BUCK
You, sir! How dare you come into my establishment looking so god damn handsome. (Buck starts kissing Gabriel) It should be against the law.GABRIEL
It might be a health code violation.TABITHA
Save some for me, Buck.(Tabitha tries to get some Gabriel action.)
GABRIEL
Mom! What have you done?MOTHER
Nothing, son! It’s just your father’s hat. But you do look quite fetching in it. Meow!(She starts rubbing Gabriel’s leg. He screams and runs out. We follow him outside the coffee shop in the alley. He takes off the hat and leans against the wall, out of breath. He hears Katrina sobbing softly.)
GABRIEL
Who’s there?KATRINA
I’m sorry. I just came running out here from the restaurant next door. GABRIEL
Fogo de Chau?KATRINA
It’s really way too much meat. I had to get away.GABRIEL
What’s that you’re holding?KATRINA
It’s a yellow bonnet that belonged to my grandmother. My father gave it to me. I think it’s cursed.GABRIEL
Put it on.KATRINA
You don’t understand.GABRIEL
Put it on. (She does. Gabriel checks her out.)
GABRIEL (continuing)
Wow. It makes your eyes come alive. (He puts on his beret.) This belonged to my father.KATRINA
It brings out your rugged jaw line. I want to cling to it like I was hanging off the edge of a cliff.(They kiss. Katrina’s father, Gabriel’s mother, Tabitha, Buck, a Fogo de Chau server with a saber full of meat come into the alley.)
KATRINA’S FATHER
There they are!(The mob rushes them. They quickly take off their headwear and the crowd suddenly stops as if quickly waking from a hypnotic state. They all wander off, leaving Katrina and Gabriel. Katrina and Gabriel kiss without the hats on. They shyly put the hats back on and kiss passionately. Lights fade.)
