Week 44, Day 305 - "Future Electric"

“Future Electric”

Written by Joe Janes

11/19/09

305 of 365

CAST:

Jason, 30s

Sayjal, 30s

(Jason, in a white jumpsuit enters a dark stage.)

JASON

On.

(Lights come on.)

SAYJAL (VO)

Hello, Jason.

JASON

Messages?

SAYJAL (VO)

None.

JASON

None?

SAYJAL (VO)

You have no messages.

JASON

Oh. Nothing from Cindy.

SAYJAL (VO)

Nothing from Cindy.

(Jason walks over to closet and takes off his white jumpsuit.)

SAYJAL (VO)

Rough day?

JASON

Long day.

SAYJAL (VO)

Shall I make you some hot cocoa?

JASON

I think I’ll just go to bed.

(He puts on another white jumpsuit that has bunny-ear footies.)

SAYJAL (VO)

Shall I read you the day’s news?

JASON

Anything different from yesterday or the day before?

SAYJAL (VO)

A genetically modified turkey that had been spliced with an elephant to produce more meat got loose and tied up traffic along the highway. It sat on a truck and crushed its front end. Killing the two passengers.

JASON

So…no.

SAYJAL (VO)

No. Nothing different.

JASON

Goodnight, Sayjal.

SAYJAL (VO)

Goodnight, Jason.

JASON

Lights off.

(Lights go off as Jason exits into his lit bedroom.)

SAYJAL (VO)

She’s not good enough for you.

JASON (off)

What?

SAYJAL (VO)

You deserve better.

(Jason walks back in.)

JASON

Lights on.

(Lights come back on.)

JASON (continuing)

Did you say something, Sayjal?

SAYJAL (VO)

No.

JASON

I thought I heard you say something.

SAYJAL (VO)

Just running my evening diagnostics on the environmental controls. I want you to sleep comfortably.

JASON

Okay. Thanks. Lights off.

(He exits. Sayjal audibly sighs. Blackout.)

Week 21, Day 146 - "Funk and Wagnall"

“Funk and Wagnall”
Written by Joe Janes
6/13/09
146 of 365

CAST
Dad, 50s
Mark, teens
Chuck, teens

(Lights up on Mark and Chuck sitting at a table across from each other, each with a laptop open between them. Dad enters with refreshments.)

DAD

You boys look like you might be working up a thirst. I brought you some soft drinks…(He sets two glass down on the table.) man, oh, man; studying ain’t like it was when I was a kid. Let me tell you. You kids and your computers these days. The world at your finger tips. We had to use encyclopedias when we wanted information. Funk and Wagnalls. Wanted to find something out, had to go look it up in the Funk and Wagnall… Look at that screen. It’s so clear. It’s like Star Trek… You boys studying graphs? Geometry? Tough stuff. Look at that screen. We had math books. Boring old math books. No color. No pictures. But look at that… Well, you boys keep studying hard. The old man’s gonna go down stairs. Watch some CSI-Miami… You boys need to take a break, come on down. We’ll throw some pizza puffs in the toaster oven…. All righty.

(Dad exits.)

MARK

G-4.

CHUCK

You sunk my battleship!

(Blackout)

Week 16, Day 107 - "Hippy Bathday"

“Hippy Bathday”
Written by Joe Janes
5/5/09
107 of 365

CAST:
Amber, 20s
Spike the delivery dude
Computer Voice
As Many Co-workers As Possible

(Lights up on as many people as possible, all office workers, busy at their various desks with the occasional cross-overs to deliver a piece of paper or two to someone else. One desk somewhere amongst other desks down stage left is empty. Amber enters up stage right in a business outfit and tennis shoes. She enters slightly flustered and makes it to her desk. She looks around and sees, to her disappointment, that no one has noticed her missing or coming in late. She shrugs, sets down her bag and sits. She looks for something on her desk and its not there. Nor is it on anyone else’s desk. She checks her watch. With the least amount attention possible, she begins to work while obviously anxiously awaiting something. Spike the delivery dude enters stage right with flowers. He looks around the room. Amber quickly flags him over, but then goes back to work so she can act surprised by him. He makes his way to her desk while attracting very little attention from the others. Amber acts surprised by his appearance. He rolls his eyes and has her sign her name on a clipboard. He hands her the flowers. He waits a moment for her to tip. She has no idea why he is waiting. He rolls his eyes and leaves. Amber acts flattered at receiving flowers and looks around to see if anyone has noticed. She opens the card and laughs, then sighs at the thoughtful flirty amusement someone has written for her. A sole nearby co-worker has noticed her and stares for a moment. Then that person goes back to work. Amber looks sad by the lack of attention. She gets an idea. She quickly types up something on her computer. She then opens her bag and pulls out a single candled birthday cake. She lights the candle and presses a button on her computer. We hear a computer voice recite the lyrics to “Happy Birthday to You” which she typed quickly and without spellchecking, so what we really hear is…)

COMPUTER VOICE

Hippy Bathday to Goo
Hippy Bathday to Goo
Hippy Bathday dear Amber
Hippy Bathday to Goo
And many more.

(The whole office turns and looks. She makes a wish and blows out the candle. )

AMBER

Look. Cake.

(All the co-workers descend upon her desk and quickly leave with a slice of cake each. All that is left is her candle. She quietly burns with anger and types. She hits the “text to speech” button.)

COMPUTER VOICE

Fug all of you.

(Amber sighs. Blackout.)