WORD OF THE DAY
Our president, Governor George W. Bush, is known for making up words whenever he's on the spot and off script. As a solution to this, Mr. Bush is trying diligently to increase his vocabulary with real words. He even has one of those "Word of the Day" calendars on his desk in the oval office. Unfortunately, the calendar is not from any of our well-respected dictionary publishers, but from George's own set of advisers.
For example, here's today's entry...
Word of the Day
November, 6, 2007
1. A really nasty thing only evil countries that don't do business with us do.
2. Physical duress applied to another person that causes that person to experience permanent and irreparable physical damage.
Use it in a sentence: "The U.S. does not use torture."
The real definition, courtesy of Merriam-Webster:
1 a: anguish of body or mind : agony b: something that causes agony or pain
2: the infliction of intense pain (as from burning, crushing, or wounding) to punish, coerce, or afford sadistic pleasure
Mr. Bush needs a new dictionary. One made by scholars, not politicians. Waterboarding is not an "extensive interrogation technique." It is torture. It simulates drowning. A person is immobilized and water is poured over their nose and mouth, which is covered by a cloth. It creates anguish and fear. It could lead to a heart attack and, most importantly, false information supplied by the prisoner who just wants you to fucking stop and will tell you anything he or she thinks you want to hear.
Unless congress gets the balls to take back our country, this is going to be a very long and, literally, painful year.
THE BS NEWS QUIZ OF THE DAY
Yesterday, I asked...
25% did "Mountain Dew"
- Mmmm, green, carbonated, sugary caffeine goodness. Chug it down and watch it come back out looking like it did going in.
25% picked "Mole Sauce"
- Mole sauce is wonderful. But not after a race. Try it on Quorn, instead.
16% chose "Coffee"
- I think I just made an executive from Starbucks wet his or her pants with this possibility.
34% grabbed for the gusto with "Beer"
According to The Daily Mail, Professor Manuel Garzon, of Granada's medical faculty, made his discovery after tests on 25 students over several months. They were asked to run on a treadmill under stifling temperatures of 40C (104F) until they were close to exhaustion. Half were then given two half pints of Spanish lager to drink, while the rest were given water. Professor Garzon said the rehydration effect in the students who were given beer was "slightly better" than among those given only water. He also noted that all the beer-drinking athletes found the water-drinking athletes to be more attractive in their running shorts, but not vice-versa.