Monday, August 10, 2009

Week 30, Day 204 - "On A Stick"

“On A Stick” or “Thanks, Men”
Written by Joe Janes
8/10/09
204 of 365

CAST
Ed, 30s
Matt, 30s
Brad, 30s
Mike, 20s
Brian, 20s

(Lights up on Matt and Ed at their orange stand at a fair.)

ED
Oranges! Get your oranges here!

MATT
Nice big, round ripe oranges.

ED
Peel ‘em and eat ‘em!

MATT
Peel ‘em and eat ‘em!

(Brad crosses by and looks back at the oranges.)

ED
Orange, mister?

MATT
Healthy, full of vitamin C, low in calories-

ED
Glutton free.

MATT
Glutton free.

BRAD
Gee, I don’t know. (He looks at it quizzically) How do I-?

ED
Peel ‘em and eat ‘em.

MATT
Just peel ‘em and eat ‘em.

BRAD
Like shrimp.

ED
Sure.

MATT
Like shrimp.

BRAD
Seem a bit labor intensive.

ED
They’re refreshing.

MATT
They’re refreshing.

BRAD
Refreshing, you say? Well. Okay.

ED
One dollar.

MATT
One dollar.

(Brad takes out his wallet. Brian and Mike quickly set up a table nearby. On the table, is a round brown blob.)

BRIAN
Oranges!

BRAD
Ooh, they have oranges, too.

MIKE
Dipped in chocolate.

BRAD
I heard chocolate is really good for you.

BRIAN
Wrapped in bacon.

BRAD
Bacon is a good source of protein.

ED
Here’s your orange, sir.

MATT
Just one dollar.

MIKE
Did I mention deep-fried? Our orange is dipped in chocolate, wrapped in bacon and deep-fried in a crispy, yellow batter.

BRIAN
Made out of corn and Twinkies.

MIKE
And-

BRIAN
And-

MIKE AND BRIAN
It comes on a stick!

(Mike stabs the blob with a wooden stick and they pick it up, Brian gesturing around it with his hands.)

BRAD
Sold!

(Brad walks over and grabs the thing on a stick. Brad starts eating it with great relish.)

MIKE
Five dollars, sir.

BRAD
Take my whole wallet.

(He hands him his wallet as he continues to eat the thing on a stick.)

ED
That’s outrageous.

MATT (holding out an orange)
This orange is only a dollar.

BRAD
Please, you can’t put a price on eating healthy. I must tell my friends, Tom and Tony. They could use something like this. They're so out of shape.

(Mike and Brian smugly count their money. Ed looks at the orange Matt is holding and stabs it with his pen.)

ED
Orange on stick.

MATT
Orange on a stick!

ED
Ten dollars.

(Lights fade as the continue to hawk their orange on a stick as Brad continues to devour that fried thing.)