Written by Joe Janes
11/24/09
310 of 365
CAST
Dani, 40s
Martin, 40s
Jillie, 40s
Gene, 30s
Nancy, 30s
(Lights up on Dani Collins seated in a chair. An empty chair is next to her. Martin stands between the empty chair and the door.)
MARTIN
Five down, twenty-five more to go. (She rolls her eyes at him.) You ready, Dani? The quicker we do these the quicker we’ll be through.
DANI
Hang on, Martin.
(She sits up. Takes a deep breath while shaking out her hands. She emerges from the process smiling. She nods to Martin who opens the door. Jillie enters. Jillie dresses casually and wears a cap, but has a somber, serious demeanor.)
JILLIE (sitting)
Hi.
DANI
Hi.
(Jillie looks to Martin.)
MARTIN
Oh. The camera’s rolling. Pick up where you need to. We’ll give you the raw stuff and you edit it however you want.
(Jillie nods, looks at Dani.)
JILLIE
5-4-3--… (She suddenly lights up and starts laughing.) Oh, hey, everybody, Jillie B. here with my new BFF Dani Collins. We’re having such a good time talking about her new movie, “Rosalita’s Thunder.” Dani, this movie is amazing-
DANI
You’ve seen it?
(Jillie’s face goes cold. She shakes her head a quick “no.”)
JILLIE
5-4-3… (She lights up, again) Dani, you’re new movie is amazing! Tell me, what was it like working with Bruce Nielson? Pretty hard work?
DANI
Well, Bruce is pretty talented, but it doesn’t hurt that he’s such eye candy.
JILLIE
Tell me, about it, girlfriend. Any sparks fly between you two off the set?
DANI
No, we kept our sparks limited to on the set. And we had a guy standing by with a fire extinguisher.
JILLIE (going cold again)
Why?
DANI
Because we heated things up. On the set.
(Jillie nods slowly, deep in thought.)
JILLIE
That’s good. “Standing by with a fire extinguisher”…5-4-3… (Jillie explodes laughing) Well, of course, you did. Sounds like you guys hit it off. Or should I say, hit it “hot.”
DANI
Really, it’s just a good movie. You should come see it.
JILLIE
You know I will, again. (Jillie laughs). You as Rosalita, I smell Oscar.
DANI
I smell Oscar Mayer.
JILLIE (going cold)
We’ll probably cut that. They’re not one of our sponsors. 5-4-3… (All smiles!) That’s all the time we have. Thank you, Dani. We have to get together more often, Angel.
DANI
We’ve never-
JILLIE
This is Jillie B with the Buzz-z-z-z-z-z in Hollywood. (Jillie goes all cold, again. She gets up and leaves without saying good-bye.)
DANI
These people are freaks.
MARTIN
Freaks that help you sell your movie so you can make another one and have a career. Ready for more pain?
DANI
Bring it on.
(Martin opens the door. Gene enters. He’s a mild-mannered, friendly looking guy.)
GENE
Thanks.
MARTIN
You’re welcome. You have five minutes.
GENE (sitting)
Hi. My name’s Gene. It’s very nice to meet you.
DANI
It’s nice to meet you, Gene.
GENE
Since we don’t have much time, Dani, and this is to promote your new film, I thought I’d just let you run with it.
DANI
Run with it?
GENE
Sure. Tell me about your movie.
DANI
Oh. Okay. “Rosalita’s Thunder” is about a woman from Louisiana. She owns and operates a small hole-in-the-wall bar in the French Quarter that she inherited from her husband who died in battle in Iraq. It’s a story of struggling, carrying on, redemption and falling in love later in life. My co-star is Bruce Nielson as an Iraq vet on the lam. He gets reinstated and runs away. Rosalita offers him refuge and, in the process, heals her grieving heart. (Pause) Gene. Are you okay?
GENE (holding back tears)
That sounds so beautiful.
DANI
It’s a very touching story and everyone really poured their hearts and souls into making it. I’m very proud to be a part of it.
(Gene is crying harder now. He holds out his hand for her to take. She does so, reluctantly.)
GENE
That sounds so special.
DANI
Yeah, it is, I guess.
GENE
I wish I was special.
(Martin and Dani exchange glances and shrugs.)
DANI
Oh, Gene, don’t say that. You’re special.
GENE
You’re just saying that.
DANI
No, no. When you walked in the room, I thought you were different. Special. You’re the only reporter so far to just ask me about the movie without making a big show about it. Believe me, that is special.
GENE
I’m not a reporter.
DANI
You’re not?
GENE
No. I just have a blog.
DANI
Oh. But you write about movies.
GENE
No, not really. I take pictures of sweet actresses like you and Photoshop your face on to pictures of naked ladies.
DANI
Oh.
MARTIN (escorting Gene out)
Hey, that’s five minutes. Time to go Gene. Say good-bye to Dani.
GENE
Wait. Can I just take a moment? (He turns and looks at her.) I want to remember you as you are.
DANI
Well, make sure you remember it with this body.
MARTIN
Let’s go.
(Gene exits. Martin closes the door.)
DANI
I’m not going to make it. I just want to make movies. I don’t want to go through this bullshit. Help me out here, Martin.
MARTIN
It’s in your contract, Dani. You don’t do this, I don’t know. The producers can sue you.
DANI
Can’t they screen who they invite a little better?
MARTIN
We’re living in the information age. They’re trying to catch every possible ticket buyer. Even if it means doing interviews with creepazoids.
DANI
And the film will probably still tank. Who wants to see a tear jerker?
MARTIN
Bill does take off his shirt in it.
DANI
Great. MILFS and gay men will be our audience.
MARTIN
As long as they buy a movie ticket, I don’t care what or who they’re touching in the dark. How about one more and we break for lunch?
DANI
Okay, but if they’re a freak, make it a fast five minutes.
(Martin opens the door. Nancy enters. She looks normal and seems to possess proper social skills.)
NANCY
Hi. I’m next. Oh, hi, Dani. (She sits) Thanks for doing this. I know how hard these press junkets can be. I promise to keep things quick and light. My name’s Nancy and I do entertainment news for WKBM in Minneapolis.
DANI
Nice to meet you, Nancy. Really nice to meet you.
NANCY
So, “Rosalita’s Thunder.” The word around Hollywood is that this is your best performance yet.
DANI
Well, that’s very flattering.
NANCY
And many critics, including this one, are already marking it as a big Oscar contender.
DANI
You saw it?
NANCY
Three times. This film is incredible. Poignant, smart, deeply moving. I have just one more question.
DANI
Shoot.
(Nancy takes a picture out of a folder and holds it out to Dani)
NANCY
Is this a picture of you in an alley outside a nightclub in Shreveport snorting coke off Bill Nielson’s dick?
DANI
Yep.
MARTIN
And that’s time.
(Blackout.)
