Written by Joe Janes
17 of 365
Diversity Chicken (aka DC),???
(Lights up on Bobby and Chelsea sitting on a stoop. Bobby has a baseball bat. Chelsea has a mitt and glove.)
BOBBYGee, Chelsea. I don’t like playing with that new kid, Raoul.
CHELSEAI now what you mean, Bobby. There’s just something about him.
BOBBYYeah. I know. It’s like he’s different.
(Offstage we hear the trumpeting bawks of a chicken - then bounds onto the stage in a multi-colored chicken suit, Diversity Chicken!)
DCDiversity Chicken to the rescue!
BOBBY AND CHELSEADiversity Chicken!
DCThat’s right, Bobby and Chelsea. I couldn’t help but overhear you talking about your new classmate, Raoul.
BOBBYYeah, Diversity Chicken. He looks so different from us.
CHELSEAHe’s a different color.
BOBBYHe wears different clothes.
CHELSEAAnd he has a funny sounding name.
DCLook at me, kids, and what do you see?
BOBBYA big chicken?
DCTake a closer look. What’s on this big chicken?
(The kids are stumped. They keep looking at him. DC flaps his arms. Nothing. He finally plucks one of his own feathers shows it to them.)
DC (After an understated “ow.”)What’s this?
BOBBY AND CHELSEA (after looking at each other)A feather?
DCRight! Yes! A feather. Such bright, wonderful children.
(He sits down between them.)
DCDo you see how my feathers come in all shapes and sizes, even different colors? (They nod.) Think of the planet as one big chicken. And every person on the planet is just a feather stuck to the chicken.
CHELSEASo, Bobby and me are feathers?
BOBBYAnd we’re stuck on a giant chicken hurtling through space?
DCThat’s right, too.
CHELSEADoes that mean Raoul’s a feather, too?
DCNow, you’re catching on. And how silly would it be if I had some feathers that didn’t get along with other feathers?
CHELSEAPretty silly, Diversity Chicken.
BOBBYSo, we should try to like Raoul?
DCWhoa, whoa, whoa. I didn’t say that. Life’s too short to put up with people you have to try to like. All you have to do is “tolerate” Raoul.
CHELSEAWhat’s “tolerate” mean?
DCWell, it means, no one’s asking you to invite Raoul over to play video games or play baseball. But don’t go out of your way to bother him, either. As long as he sticks to his own neighborhood and dates his own kind, we won’t have a problem, will we?
BOBBY AND CHELSEANope!
CHELSEAThanks, Diversity Chicken!
DCYou’re welcome, kids! Now, I’m off!
(He starts to walk away)
BOBBYYou don’t fly?
DCNope. I’m a chicken. Got wings, no gift of flight. Thanks, God!
CHELSEAI thought super heroes flew?
DCWell, you know, not really a super hero, here. More just a walking public service announcement. (Mumbles to himself as he exits) Fucking kids.
BOBBYI hate chickens.
CHELSEAMe, too. Unless they’re fried.
BOBBYLet’s go eat him!
(They run off and start beating on DC with the bat. We hear chicken screams and see feathers fly onto stage as lights fade.)
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