“Racist In A Box” Written by Joe Janes
12/1/09
317 of 365
CAST:
Elle, 40s
Oliver, 40s
(Lights up on Elle and Oliver going through Oliver’s father’s attic. Oliver is Caucasian and Elle is distinctly of a different race. They are opening up boxes. Checking things out. It’s dusty.)
ELLE
Well…
OLIVER
Well…
(Elle starts coughing. Oliver opens a small window. Elle tries to open a door.)
ELLE
This door is stuck.
(Oliver gives it a try.)
OLIVER
Seems so.
(Oliver goes back to opening suitcases. She watches him.)
ELLE
Look, I –
OLIVER
Yes?
ELLE
I was just wondering…
OLIVER
I know.
ELLE
You know.
OLIVER
I know. You can stop.
(He continues to go through different cases. She stands, not knowing what to do. She tries the door, again.)
ELLE
This door is stuck.
OLIVER
Seems so.
ELLE
I just feel awkward being in his attic. All your dad’s stuff.
OLIVER
Not like he’s going to yell at you.
ELLE
You’re right. Even if he could, he was the nicest person in the world.
OLIVER
And he thought you were the best thing that ever happened to me.
ELLE
You’re right. I’m being selfish. (She hugs him around the neck) First your mom and a year later your dad. (She kisses the top of his head then spits a little.) Yuck, more dust. Let me help, honey.
OLIVER
I haven’t tried any of those boxes yet. The ones wedged in the corner.
(Elle crouches down and pulls one of the boxes out to where there’s more room. Oliver finds an army hat and tries it on.)
OLIVER
What do you think? Did I miss my calling?
ELLE
Definitely.
OLIVER
Dad wanted me to join the ROTC to pay my way through college.
ELLE
Why didn’t you?
OLIVER
Didn’t seem like a good idea at the time. Theater major and ROTC doesn’t mix well. All it would have taught me was how to better take a beating.
(Elle pulls a KKK hood out of her box.)
ELLE
Oh, shit.
(Oliver turns and looks.)
OLIVER
Sheets? Put them aside. We can always use more sheets.
ELLE
Not like this.
(She holds it up for her to see. Stunned, he walks over and takes it from her.)
OLIVER
What else is in the box? You know what a quirky sense of humor he had. I bet this was a costume or something.
ELLE
He did dress up like a hobo one Halloween when he volunteered at a homeless shelter on the same day. I think you’re right, though. There’s also a swastika in here so there’s probably a Nazi costume.
OLIVER
Not different enough, keep digging. (He bends down and starts going through the box. He pulls out pictures.) Holy crap.
ELLE
That’s him, holding a rifle.
OLIVER
They’re all holding rifles. He’s the only one with his hood pulled up. Just him and that guy next to him who looks like my grandfather! Oh, my God!
ELLE
But look how young he is there. This had to be before you were born.
OLIVER
That doesn’t un-racist him. Or gramps.
ELLE
But, it means he probably stopped doing this. They both probably did. Maybe once he met your mom. She was an angel. He must have given it up. How else could he have kept it from you? He wasn’t a racist. Not the man I met.
OLIVER
This box says otherwise.
ELLE
People can change. I quit smoking.
OLIVER
He kept the stuff. He kept this whole box of hate props.
ELLE
He also kept the saddle from his first horse. That doesn’t make him a pony.
(Oliver collapses onto the floor.)
OLIVER
I’m racist. It’s in my blood. It’s been passed down to me.
ELLE
You are not racist. I did not marry a racist. Nor would you have married me if you were.
OLIVER
I would if I had white guilt. I’m making up for my father’s transgressions. And my grandfather’s. And probably my great grandfather’s.
ELLE
You didn’t even know until now. And really, has he ever said anything to you that would make you think he was? Has he ever said anything bad about me? Ever?
OLIVER
No. He never said anything. Well, except…
ELLE
What?
OLIVER
When I first told him about you and I told him you were (fill-in-the-race-here), he-
ELLE
Tell me. Whatever it is, I’m sure I’ve heard worse.
OLIVER
He said “oh.”
ELLE
What the hell does that mean?
OLIVER
I didn’t think to ask at the time. He asked me more stuff about what you were like and I never thought about it again until now.
ELLE
Well, whatever he was, he’s not anymore. And neither are you.
OLIVER
I voted for Obama. So did my dad.
ELLE
There you go. And we can take everything in that box and burn it in the back yard. Or on the front lawn with a crucifix, whichever you think is more appropriate.
(Oliver throws all the KKK stuff back into the box. He looks at that stuck door.)
OLIVER
If he kept stuff like this out here in a box, what the hell is behind the door?
(He and Ell both grab the door handle and pull. They manage to pull it open. Oliver sticks his head in and looks.)
OLIVER
Mom?
(Blackout.)
