Week 51, Day 353 - "Anna.2"

“Anna.2”

Written by Joe Janes

1/6/10

353 of 365

Cast

Rammel, 30s

Anna.2, 30s robot

Anna, 30s

(Lights up on a man on a young Asian man in a dark suit.)

RAMMEL

Good evening ladies and gentlemen. Welcome to the unveiling of the latest GoogiTech robot. Over the years, we have made many advances in the technology of lifelike robots designed to be useful as well as aesthetically pleasing. Allow me to introduce to you, Anna.2.

(There’s a shift in lights and we hear some electronic music kick in as we anticipate Anna’s appearance. Rammel apologetically scurries backstage to see what’s going on.)

RAMMEL

Women. Never on time, am I right? She’s coming, ladies and gentlemen. Look. Here she is, now.

(Anna.2, dressed in a sharp business outfit, enters. She walks very slowly in that Japanese robot way – erect posture, legs squatting a bit. She makes her way to center stage. Rammel cues the music to fade out. It does.)

RAMMEL

Anna. Welcome. Say hello to the people.

(Anna looks around slowly and mechanically.)

ANNA.2

Hello. I love you.

RAMMEL

Ahhh. Isn’t she sweet? Anna. Tell the people some of the things you can do.

ANNA.2

I can help around the house. I also dance and play the violin.

RAMMEL

Anna. Why don’t you show us that? I’m sure the people would love to see you dance and play violin. (He encourages the audience to applaud as he hands her a violin and bow.

ANNA.2

It would be my pleasure to do anything you ask me to do, Rammel.

(She begins to play something – obviously recorded – like Bond’s “Senorita.” Rammel gets swept up in this and begins to dance, poorly, with her, devolving into juking on her. Anna, in a similar business suit as Anna.2, steps up onto the stage. She holds out a remote, points it at Anna.2 and clicks it. Anna freezes and the music stops cold. Rammel jukes for a bit more and then comes out of it with great embarrassment.)

ANNA

Having a good time, Rammel?

RAMMEL

Anna! Um…

ANNA

How dare you unveil your prototype without letting me know.

RAMMEL

I sent out an e-mail blast to the whole company. Maybe you should check your junk folder.

ANNA

Maybe you should check your junk folder.

RAMMEL

Ladies and gentlemen of the press. This is Anna Fink. Head of research and development at GoogiTech. (He tries to get everyone to clap for her as Anna walks around Anna.2, checking her out.) Well, what do you think of Anna.2?

ANNA

You disgust me. I told you I wasn’t interested and this is what you do? That shameless grope at the holiday office party still feels like a greasy stain on my soul.

RAMMEL

For me, it was a stain on my heart. A good stain. Like when you stain furniture.

ANNA

I want her dismantled. And I want my violin back. (She tries to take it from Anna.2, who does not release her grip.) Make her let it go.

(Rammel presses a button on Anna.2’s back. She comes back on, but holds tightly to the violin.)

RAMMEL

Anna. Let the violin go.

ANNA.2

I dance and play the violin for Rammel.

ANNA

Not any more.

(The two Anna’s wrestle for it for a second as Bond’s “Explosive” kicks in. Rammel is very excited by the Anna on Anna.2 robot catfight. He starts juking to the music, again, this time on the real Anna. She kicks him off, grabs her remote and turns Anna off, again.)

ANNA

You’re fired.

RAMMEL

No, please. Can’t you see that I did it for you? It’s like a monument to your beauty. And power. Through her, your legacy at GoogiTech will live forever.

(Anna uses the remote to turn Anna.2 back on.)

ANNA

Anna. You dance and play violin and help around the house. Is there anything else you do?

ANNA.2

I also hold Rammel in my arms, as he lies naked in my lap drinking cinnamon schnapps and crying about how lonely he is. I also clean up the resulting spilled fluids.

ANNA

She gets dismantled. I get my violin back. And you walk out the front door escorted by a security guard by 5 o’clock. Sorry, folks. This press conference is over.

(Anna exits.)

RAMMEL

Sorry everybody. There are snacks in the lobby for you. Anna really is a great boss to work for. And Anna.2 is really such a breakthrough… oh, what’s the use?

(Anna.2 puts her arm around Rammel who starts to cry on her shoulder.)

ANNA.2

There, there. I understand. You are brave and handsome. Take off your clothes.

(Rammel looks around for a second and quickly starts to peel off his clothes as lights fade.)

Week 13, Day 91 - “A Friend In The End”

“A Friend In The End”
Written by Joe Janes
4/19/09
91 of 365

CAST:
HANDSOME MAN, 30’s
CAROLINE, 80’s
GENE, 30’S
TERRY, 20’S
2 MEN IN COVERALLS

(Scene opens on the Handsome Man near Caroline’s bedside. She is ill, but this is not a hospital bed. It is a lush bedroom, perhaps in a mansion. She wears a crushed velvet dress and has long gray hair. She is very frail. The Handsome Man appears to be in his 30’s, fit, healthy and well dressed.)

HANDSOME MAN

Caroline. I have brought your favorite book to read.

CAROLINE

Hold my hand.

HANDSOME MAN

Of course.

(They do and they sit quietly for a moment.)

CAROLINE

Do you remember that time in Africa?

HANDSOME MAN

Yes. I do. We had that incompetent guide who tried to lead us across a river.

CAROLINE

I missed jumping on to that rock and fell.

HANDSOME MAN

I had to run along the riverbank to grab you and pull you out.

CAROLINE

You were always there for me.

HANDSOME MAN

You weren’t in any real danger.

CAROLINE

Let me see your face, again.

(The Handsome Man turns his head towards her. She lifts her hand and touches his cheek.)

CAROLINE (continuing)

I don’t expect that.

HANDSOME MAN

What’s that?

CAROLINE

The coldness.

HANDSOME MAN

I’m sorry.

CAROLINE

It’s not your fault.

HANDSOME MAN

I’m going to miss you.

CAROLINE

I’m not buying that. You’ll forget about me.

HANDSOME MAN

No. I don’t think so. Even if I did, there would be an empty spot in my memory. I would know you were there. That something was there. Something special.

CAROLINE

That spoils the dream, though, doesn’t it?

HANDSOME MAN

The dream?

CAROLINE

Dream that I am young.

HANDSOME MAN

Perhaps another time.

CAROLINE

Dream that I am young and hold me.

(The Handsome Man holds Caroline for a moment. It is very tender. He notices something about her. He lies her back down. There is an echoing “clack” sound as harsh overhead lights flick on. Two men in coveralls enter and place Caroline in a body bag. They remove her as the rest of the scene plays out. A man, Terry, and a woman, Gene, in lab coats, enter. They walk over to the Handsome Man.)

GENE

Heartbreaking, ain’t it, kid.

TERRY

Ever get used to that?

GENE AND HANDSOME MAN

No.

GENE

He was talking to me. ...Help me with the faceplate. It needs to be a long lost girlfriend by 5 o’clock.

(She takes the remote control she’s holding and clicks it at the Handsome Man. He quickly “shuts off,” tilting his head back. Gene shows Terry how to remove the Handsome Man’s face as lights fade to black.)