Written by Joe Janes
8/20/09
214 of 365
CAST
Mel, 20s
Julie, 20s
Cal, 40s
Evelyn, 60s
Viv, 30s
Bruno, 30s
(Lights up on a crowded El train. We see Mel getting on and sitting. Down the way and across the aisle from him in another seat is Julie with headphones on. Cal, a businessman, stands reading a newspaper. Evelyn, an older woman with a shopping bag sits next to her adult daughter, Viv. Bruno, in a red beret and white t-shirt, stands near the door. Mel sees Julie and texts something to her and sends it. Julie gets the text on her iPhone, reads it and smiles over at Mel. She sends something back. He reads it and smiles and sends something back to her. She reads it and texts something back to him. He looks offended.)
MEL
Hey. There’s no need to shout.
JULIE (taking off her headphones)
What?
MEL
There’s no need to shout!
JULIE
I didn’t shout. I texted you.
MEL
You used all caps. Shouting.
JULIE
Oh, no, I just really meant what I said. I wasn’t shouting.
MEL
All caps. Shouting?
CAL
Yep. Shouting.
MEL
All caps?
VIV
Shouting.
EVELYN (to Julie)
There’s no need to be so rude.
JULIE
I wasn’t shouting. If I wanted to shout, I would have used an exclamation point.
MEL
Punctuation. Great. Treat me like I’m stupid.
JULIE
All caps does not mean shouting. If I used all lowercase letters would I have been whispering?
MEL
Yes.
VIV
It’s more intimate.
EVELYN
Good for naughty talk.
BRUNO
Gotta watch the all caps, lady. I once sent out an all-office e-mail that was all caps. Didn’t even realize it. I had the “caps lock” button on. Upset a lot of people that day. Some of them went home crying. Ended up having to send out an apology e-mail. Still, got the cold shoulder from most everyone for weeks. Weeks. Ended up leaving because no one would talk to me.
(Julie starts texting, again. The train stops.)
MEL
Looks like I’m going to get an apology. (Julie hits the send button and walks off the train. He reads the e-mail.) Or at least a suggestion on where I can effectively store my Blackberry. It won’t fit there!... She knows that.
(He goes back to texting. BLACKOUT)
