Written by Joe Janes
11/2/09
288 of 365
CAST:
Leona, 40s
Raymond, 40s
(Lights up on Leona at night. She has come out of a bar and looks disheveled. She appears drunk. She fishes her keys out of her purse. She approaches her car and drops the keys. With great effort, she manages to pick them up without toppling over. She sorts through the keys looking for the car key. She finds it. She uses all her power to focus and aim the key to the car door lock. She gets it on the third try. She turns the key and the door swings open. She manages to whip her body into the car seat and closes the door behind her. Success! She goes to put the key in the ignition, but can’t find it. She checks the seat and the floor. Nothing. She rolls down the window and finds the keys still in the lock. She gets them and puts the key in the ignition. She’s about to turn the key and changes her mind. She takes a deep breath. She fishes her cell phone out of her purse and dials 911. Lights come up on the other side of the stage on Raymond at his station in the emergency call center.)
RAYMOND
911, what is your emergency?
LEONA
I’d like to report a drunk driver?
RAYMOND
Okay. Are you currently in your car?
LEONA
Yes.
RAYMOND
Are you driving behind them?
LEONA
No. I am them.
RAYMOND
You’re the drunk driver?
LEONA
Yes. But I’m not driven yet.
RAYMOND
But you have been drinking?
LEONA
My husband is an asshole!
RAYMOND
Leona, don’t call me at work.
LEONA
‘kay, bye.
(Leona passes out on the steering wheel. Blackout.)
