Written by Joe Janes
5/12/09
113 of 365
CAST:
Janet, 40s
Monty, 40s
Julie, 17
Dante, 17
(Lights up on Janet and Monty in the living room of their home. Monty is reading the newspaper. Janet is knitting. The doorbell rings.)
JANET (getting up)
I’ll bet that’s Dante. Julie, he’s here!MONTY (getting up)
I’ll grab the door.JULIE (off)
I’ll be down in a second, Mom.MONTY (opening door)
Hey, there, Dante. Come on in.(Dante enters wearing a tuxedo and carrying a corsage.)
DANTE
Thanks, Mr. Boone.MONTY
Call me Monty.DANTE
Okay.JANET
Look at you. Such a handsome young man, Dante. Oh, I’ll go get the camera. (She exits)
MONTY
Excited about tonight, Dante?DANTE
Yes, Monty. MONTY
I’ll bet you are. Listen, I want to make sure you treat my daughter-DANTE
Oh, rest assured, Mister- Monty, I’ll be treating your daughter Julie like a perfect gentleman.MONTY
Oh, I’m sure you will. You’re a good kid, Dante. Soon to be a man, right?DANTE
Sure.MONTY (takes out his wallet)
Listen, Dante, I want to make sure you treat my daughter to a nice hotel. You hear? A nice one. This should cover the cost of a nice room at the Marriott.(He hands Dante a hundred dollar bill.)
DANTE
Um. Wow. We weren’t planning on getting a hotel room.MONTY
I know, I know. Some after prom thing in the Fleming’s rec room basement. Dante, Julie is a special girl. She’s my princess. She doesn’t deserve to be finger banged in a beanbag chair under a black light and black velvet leopard poster. You’re going to nail her in a good and proper fashion. We clear?JANET (entering)
Here’s the camera!MONTY
We’re clear?(Dante gulps and nods.)
DANTE
Yes, sir. I will do my best.JANET
Oh, and here comes the prom queen.(Julie enters in a tasteful prom dress.)
JULIE
I’m not the queen, Mom. Just a prom peasant, right now.JANET
Well, you look like a queen to me.MONTY
Me, too.JULIE
Hi, Dante.DANTE
Hi, Julie. You look beautiful.JULIE
Thanks.JANET
Oh, my God, I’m going to explode if I don’t take your picture. Get together, get together.(They do and they pose for a picture.)
DANTE
We should probably get going.JANET
Oh, wait. Just a moment. I have something for you Julie. (She exits.)
MONTY
You kids have a great time. A great time. Dante, if I don’t see a smile on my daughter’s face for the next month, we’re going to have words. (They all laugh.)
MONTY
I’m serious.JANET (entering carrying a small tote bag)
Here, here. It’s a little “kit” I made for after the prom. JULIE (looking in bag)
Wine, mom? You got us wine?JANET
Shhhh, that’s just for the two of you. JULIE
And condoms?MONTY
That’s just for the two of you, too. JANET
But there are extras if you need them. MONTY
Ah, hell. The more the merrier, right?JULIE
I feel so lucky to have parents like you.DANTE
I feel lucky… too.JANET
And take the camera. I want lots of pictures.MONTY
Of everything. Everything. Bring back some action shots.DANTE
Okay, well, I guess we should be going, now. JULIE
Bye mom and dad. And thanks. (They exit.)
MONTY (yelling out the door)
Remember Dante. Be a gentleman. Make sure the girl gets off first, then you. Follow that guideline and no woman will ever complain about how you are in the sack. Right, Mom?JANET
It’s true! (Beat) They grow up so fast. MONTY
Hey, looks like we have the house to ourselves.JULIE
I’ll get the black light, you get the beanbag chair.MONTY
Hot dog!(Blackout)
