Written by Joe Janes
312 of 365
(Lights up on Hester and Miles, pilgrims, standing with Massas and Shenandoah. They are all holding hands in prayer around a table full of food.)
Our heavenly father, we thank ye for the food of plenty we are about to partake in. We celebrate your many gifts to us. And thank you for our new Wampanoag Indian friends Massas and Shenandoah, who have helped us harvest the land. We hope to live in peace with them for many years to come. Amen.
MASSAS AND SHENANDOAH
Please, my friends sit. We appreciate all the meats and vegetables you provided us. Hester and I were more than happy to take them and make them into wonderful dishes to share with you.
HESTER (serving them)
I made this from the sweet potatoes you gave us.
(They both ample the dish and quickly go from delight to horror. They spit the food out.)
I am so sorry.
There was some strong sweet taste beyond the potatoes.
Those were the marshmallows.
It’s candy. There’s also maple syrup in there.
You took something sweet and made it sweeter.
All the pilgrims are doing it, right Miles?
I think our taste buds might be a little more sophisticated than our savage friends.
MASSAS (to Shenandoah)
We’ve got to get rid of these assholes.
If you don’t like the potatoes, you’ll probably like the meat. We took a turkey and stuffed it with deer meat and chicken and deep-fried it in a very salty fat.
We call it turdeerken.
SHENANDOAH (to Miles)
We attack at dawn.