Written by Joe Janes
3/28/09
69 of 365
CAST:
Reggie
Lionel
Ram
Ant
(Reggie and Lionel are pith-helmet-wearing British explorers tied to a stake. Cannibals Ram and Ant tend to them. Ram is feeding Lionel big spoonfuls of meat from a pot.)
LIONEL
I say, Reggie. I didn’t expect these cannibals to be feeding me so much.REGGIE
What is it they’re making you eat, Lionel?LIONEL
So far, I’ve had a Turkish explorer and a Dutch missionary.REGGIE
Must be trying to fatten you up.ANT
No. We just got Food Network. Ram trying to make cannibal turducken. Or in this case, Turk-Dutch-man. (Ant and Ram high five)REGGIE
And what are you going to try to make with me? Rack of Reggie?(Ant produces a large funnel with a long hose.)
ANT
Foie Gras!(Ant shoves the hose into Reggie’s mouth and begins spooning corn into the funnel. Reggie struggles and makes “mouth full of hose” sounds. You know the kind.)
LIONEL
Buck up, Reggie. At least you’re going out a delicacy.(Blackout.)
