Written by Joe Janes
12/10/09
326 of 365
Cast
Molina, 20s
Lilly, 30s
Sales Woman, 40s
Announcer
(Lights up on Molina. She is well dressed in a matching coat, purse and shoes. She stands perfectly still. She is a mannequin. We some high-energy muzak instrumental music. Lilly walks up to the window display. She is not a poor person, but looks frumpy and probably unable to afford the outfit Molina is wearing. The light muzak music shifts into a throbbing house beat. Molina comes to life and we see her start strutting around like a model on a runway. Lilly is enjoying the excitement.)
ANNOUNCER
Here we see Molina wearing the latest in Paris fashion. Ladies, you’ll be the envy of your book club in this daring, yet tasteful ensemble. It’s a must have for the lady who doesn’t quite have everything. The entire outfit goes for $1,250. Make sure it’s on your list this season.
(Molina goes back into her position and freezes. The music changes to something else clubby, but clearly from the 90s.)
ANNOUNCER
And now we have Lilly. (Lilly looks around.) See how elegantly she moves… (Lilly just stands there)… See how elegantly she moves (She gets the idea and starts moving around like a model, hesitantly at first, but her confidence builds.) All the fashion critics are calling this look “Thrift Store Chic” with various articles of clothing culled from many years of living paycheck-to-paycheck. The cardigan from the Salvation Army once belonged to a man from Gurnee who wore too much aftershave and smoked a pipe. The deep purple corduroy slacks whisper comfort when she walks and if you were wondering what the new black is, it’s that elastic waistband. Lilly has mastered the sexy mom look without ever having had children. The macramé purse was made from a weekend workshop poorly chosen as a way to get out of the apartment and maybe meet men. We’re not sure who designed those shoes, but we’re certain she got them off a dead hobo. And if you’re wondering what gives Lilly’s outfit that extra glow, it’s the way the light hits all that cat hair. (Lilly picks some cat hair off her sleeve.) The entire outfit goes for $35 or best offer. Cat not included.
(The music stops. Lilly is frozen in a snooty model pose. A smartly dressed sales woman with a nametag walks up to her looking stern. Lily notices. She sheepishly composes herself. Indicates she likes Molina’s outfit, but can’t afford it. She shakes hands and pats the sales woman on the shoulder as she leaves. The sales woman adjusts Molina’s outfit and exits. Molina slyly looks around, picks cat hair off her sleeve, and goes back to frozen. Blackout.)