Written by Joe Janes
10/18/09
273 of 365
CAST
Box King
Box #7
Box P
Box Ambassador (Unofficial)
A Very Large Box
(Lights up on two large cardboard boxes on stage. Box King and Box #7. The Box King is short, but wide. Box #7 is tall and thin. The Box King has one round hole large enough to put an eye against from the inside. It is marked by an arched eyebrow. There is also a hole for a mouth. Large enough to press one’s lips into and speak through clenched teeth. Atop the box sits a small crown. Box #7 is blank. From inside the blank one, we here various sounds of construction, such as a hammer hitting a nail, a saw, etc. Soon we seen a hand-cranked drill bit coming out of the blank face of the box. Then a saw comes out and widens the hole. Lips are pressed against the hole. He also uses this same hole to look through.)
Box #7
Sorry, I’m late your highness.
Box King
I am appalled by tardiness, Number Seven. It is disruptive and hostile. Insidious, even. It makes me feel like I’m not important enough, which is, no doubt, the desired effect. Which in turn makes me angry for falling into such a manipulative trap.
Box #7
I’m really sorry I’m late. You must believe me, I meant no harm. I am, in my soul, groveling for your forgiveness. It is good to see you.
Box King
It is good to be seen. I am awaiting news.
Box #7
I’ve been working very hard and I believe I have made progress.
Box King
How soon?
Box #7
I do not know.
Box King
How soon?
Box #7
Really. It could be tomorrow, it could be months.
Box King
Months! You are wasting my time. I should have you shredded. Dampened and shredded.
Box #7
You are asking a lot. It takes time to develop the technology.
Box King
All I want is to be able to go from here to there. From here to there. And, perhaps, if I feel so inclined, back again. From here to there to here. Upon my whimsy.
Box #7
Yes, I know. It sounds so simple, but no one has ever done it before. We don’t know what’s over there. You could get hurt. You could be killed. You could fall off the edge of the…world. We want to take every precaution.
(Box P enters. It is another box of a size somewhere between the King and Seven; however, it walks on two feminine legs. It enters and stands downstage left. On it’s front is a large red button.)
Box King
There it is, again. There it is. Over there.
Box #7
I see. So, that’s the vision you’ve been having.
Box King
Yes. But it’s not a vision. It’s real. And I want to be over there. Next to it. So I can kill it for being able to do something I cannot.
Box #7
It appears to be waiting for something.
Box King
What else does your science tell you?
Box #7
It’s mobile.
Box King
Brilliant.
Box #7
It’s like us, but not like us. It doesn’t appear to have the gift of speech. There you clearly have the advantage, sire. The way that it moves itself is – is - …
Box King
Yes?
Box #7
Nice.
Box King
Yes. Yes, it is. Very nice. But I don’t know why I feel that way.
(Box Ambassador (Unofficial) enters. It is another box of comparable size to Box P. It has two masculine legs. The legs are dressed in tuxedo pants and the shoes have spats over them. It has a hand with its index finger pointing in the center of its front panel.)
Box King
Dear Heavenly Whatzit. What’s that?
Box #7
Again, it’s similar, but different.
Box King
What is that thing protruding from its front? Some kind of weapon?
Box #7
I believe it is a teat.
Box King
Teat?
Box #7
Once thought extinct. Even mythological. They produce milk and newly born animals suckle them for nourishment.
(P and Ambassador move around one another, sizing each other up, getting ready, perhaps, to dance. The Ambassador bows. P bows. The Ambassador moves towards P and presses the button with his finger. Small “ears” pop out of the sides of P’s box and Esquival-type music begins to play. They dance a short seductive dance. They bow and leave, exiting separately. The Box King, full of jealousy and rage, rattles his box. He kicks out the bottom until he is able to get one leg out. He begins to hop about on one leg.)
BOX KING
I’m free! I’m free!
(We hear a snapping sound and the King falls.)
BOX KING
Ow! My appendage! It is causing me pain. Help me! Help me!
BOX #7
I have seen too much.
(He fills his hole with straw.)
BOX KING
Come back! Don’t leave me! I am your king!
(A Very Large Box comes out. It has many feet. It steps over the King, squats down, and devours him. It stands up and all we see left of the King if his broken crown on the ground. The Very Large Box belches as it walks off.)
