Written by Joe Janes
7/7/09
170 of 365
CAST:
Wally, 40s
Fran, 40s
Connor, 6
(Lights up on Wally, sitting in a chair in his living room, reading a Tom Clancy novel and listening to softly playing classical music. Next to him is another chair and next to it on the floor is a sewing basket. Fran enters and sits in the chair near him.)
FRAN
The kids are all in bed.WALLY
I think this is my favorite time of the day.FRAN
It’s quiet.WALLY
Did you read them a story?FRAN (opening up her sewing basket)
I did. I read them The Emperor’s New Clothes.WALLY
Oh, really? I didn’t know we had that. Hmmm.FRAN
Don’t worry. I left out the part where he parades around in his underwear.WALLY
Oh, good. I think they’re just too young for that.(Fran begins to roll a joint.)
FRAN
I just left it at the emperor getting some fancy new duds that only smart people can see. I showed them the pictures in the book and they pretended they could see his clothes, too.WALLY
I like that. Bet it made them feel special.FRAN (lighting up)
Honey… (She snaps her fingers and points.)WALLY
Oh.(He picks up a remote and switches the classical music to The Grateful Dead.)
FRAN (exhaling)
That’s better.(She passes the joint over to Wally. He takes a toke and passes it back.)
WALLY
Time to get comfortable.(He takes off his pants, tosses them aside, sits back down and resumes reading.)
FRAN
Our kids are so lucky.WALLY
They sure are.FRAN
We’re happily married. We’re not on welfare. We have a college fund. Complete coverage.WALLY
Other kids should be so lucky. (Connor enters.)
CONNOR
Mom, Dad, can I have a drink of water?WALLY
What’s the magic word, Sport?CONNOR
Please?FRAN
That’s better. No, Connor. You cannot.WALLY
You’ll wet the bed. CONNOR
But I’m thirsty.FRAN
Connor.WALLY
I’m counting to three. One-CONNOR
Okay, I’m going back to bed. (He kisses Fran on the cheek and hugs Wally.)
WALLY
That’s a good boy.CONNOR
I like your pants, Dad.WALLY
Hunh?CONNOR
Just like the emperor’s.WALLY
Oh. Right. FRAN
They are very handsome trousers, Wally.CONNOR
Did you sew them, Mom?FRAN
Why, yes, I did. Now, off to bed, with you.CONNOR
Good night.WALLY
Sweet dreams, Sport.FRAN
And don’t wake Dakota, Tiffany, Shane, Zac, or Trig when you get back in bed.CONOR
I won’t.(Connor exits.)
FRAN
They are so lucky to have us.WALLY
I do like these pants.FRAN
Me, too.(They continue to pass the joint as lights fade.)
