Monday, August 25, 2008

The Secret to A Successful Relationship

With the onslaught of people in my life breaking up or getting divorced (the legal term for breaking up), I started thinking about my long track record of relationships.

Last Monday, the two Dons (my brother and Mr. Hall) and I had lunch and the conversation shifted to the necessity of marriage. It ain't. We don't need marriage to make the world turn. In fact, like organized religion, one could argue it causes more harm than good. Especially when kids are involved.

So, if it's not necessary, what's the point of marriage, or any significant relationship, for that matter?

I remembered what a friend told me in college during a rather difficult break up. I didn't get it then. I get it now.

The point of a relationship is recreation.

Nothing fancy going on with the word "recreation." This isn't any personal growth mumbo-jumbo about re-creating each other. I mean recreation.


1. an activity that diverts or amuses or stimulates; "scuba diving is provided as a diversion for tourists"; "for recreation he wrote poetry and solved crossword puzzles" [syn: diversion]
2. activity that refreshes and recreates; activity that renews your health and spirits by enjoyment and relaxation; "time for rest and refreshment by the pool"; "days of joyous recreation with his friends" [syn: refreshment]

WordNet® 3.0, © 2006 by Princeton University.
Relationships are playtime. When I think about some of my more important adult relationships, they worked well when we played well together. They didn't work well whenever I was trying to get the other person to do something I thought was fun and they did not.

There's the day-to-day stuff of relationships that need to work well, but isn't that playing, too? Like playing house. Bad stuff happens to people and that's not fun. That's when you take care of one another so that you can get back to playing.

Dreamy physical movie romance attraction isn't enough. I am no longer searching for a soul mate. I'm searching for a play mate.

(I hate Blogger, sometimes. I am now writing in italics and can't make it stop!)



This is a bench I bought at Cost Plus World Market. I love that place. I could live there. It's a sturdy thang. It's four feet wide, two-and-a-half feet high, sixteen-and-a-half inches deep. I think it's made out of pine. Like I said, sturdy. I have had it eight years and never had a problem with it. It's not comfortable, but functional. I bought it initially to keep in a foyer to make it easier to take off shoes and boots.

It has a storage bench that you can use to store shoes, extra blankets, whatever. There's a lot of room in there. When I emptied it out, it was full of framed pictures that we never got around to hanging.

I paid $150 for it. I'm asking for $75. Interested? Shoot me an e-mail.


On Friday, I asked...

"Maxim magazine recently named the worst professional comedians of all time. Coming in at number one was who?"

47% said "Carrot Top"
- Carrot Top? Not funny? Oh, you saw Chairman of the Board, too.

47% also said "Pauly Shore"
-Hey, now. The Weasel has had his moments. Just not many of them.

6% said "John McCain"
-I'd think he was funnier of the polls weren't so close.

No one got the right answer, "Sinbad"

According to Maxim, the number one Worst Professional Comedian of All Time is Sinbad.

We're not sure what we hate most about Sinbad. Is it the neon pants, the annoying dangly earring, the oversized Reeboks, or the fact that he doesn't drink? Oh, wait, now we know. It's the shitty jokes that he always tells. That's what we hate most about Sinbad.

Lists like this are, of course, bullshit. For crying out loud, their list included Paula Poundstone who is one of the most brilliant comedic minds out there. Their list did also include Kathy Griffin and Sandra Bernhard, both of whom make my scrotum squinch up when they speak. And their list did NOT include Pauly Shore or Carrot Top!

I agree with them on Sinbad, though. In stand-up, there are guys who carefully craft their material (Shandling, Gaffigan, Carlin) and then there are guys who are just the life of the party. Their whole gig is just working the crowd, making sure everyone's having a good time. It's a skill, but it's more like a host than a comedian. I can quote those other guys. I can't quote Sinbad.

I wonder if they took his film career in to account?