Written by Joe Janes
108 of 365
(Lights up on Phil talking to Nancy sitting at a bar. They are looking friendly towards one another.)
PHILWow, Nancy, I can’t believe this bar lets you have all the barbeque chicken wings you can eat. I must have eaten a whole chicken’s worth of chicken wings.
NANCYPhil, I love a man who loves chicken wings.
PHILThe only thing I love better is beer. Bartender? Two more over here.
NANCYPhil, I love a man who loves beer.
(They raise their beer bottles. Phil takes a sip and vomits.)
PHILOh…oh…I’m so sorry. I guess I had too much of…everything.
NANCYYou disgust me, Phil.
ANNOUNCERDon’t let failing to keep your beer down ever keep you from getting down. Next time, Phil, try Brace Beer.
I don’t think so, I just –
PHIL(gulp)Ah, oogh, um, hey. It tastes pepperminty.
ANNOUNCERBrace Beer soothes your stomach.
PHILWill Brace Beer keep me from – (vomits)
ANNOUNCERNope. But watch-
NANCYHey, who threw up…aw, little tiny roses.
NANCYThat is so romantic. Come here, tiger, let’s have some more beer.
PHILBartender, make it Brace Beer.
PHILBut, I just-
NANCYMmmm. Like licking warm candy.
ANNOUNCERBrace Beer – the party never has to stop, even when your body says it should. Anheiser-Boooooosh!