“Who’s Afraid of Virginia, Wolf?”
Written by Joe Janes
12/6/09
322 of 365
Cast:
George, 40s
Martha, 40s
Ted, 20s
Virginia, 20s
Announcer
(Lights up on a living room. A middle-aged couple is having drinks with a young couple. The young woman is pregnant.)
GEORGE
Get me another drink, Martha.
MARTHA
Get it yourself, George. Wouldn’t hurt you to try to burn some calories.
TED
I’ll get it.
GEORGE
Sit down, you pathetic twerp.
VIRGINIA (meekly)
Please don’t argue.
MARTHA
Dear, we haven’t even begun to argue.
TED
Virginia is a little sensitive.
GEORGE (looking out window)
Look at that moon. It’s big.
MARTHA
Only eclipsed by the size of your ego, George.
VIRGINA (drops her drink)
Oh, dear.
TED
Now, you’ve done it.
GEORGE
Great Jehosephat!
MARTHA
I’ll call a doctor.
TED
Just stay back!
(They all stay back as Virginia quite dramatically and violently turns into a werewolf. Virginia is snarling and looks like she’s about to attack any one of them. We hear classic scary music, possibly a Theremin. Virginia howls.)
ANNOUNCER
Edward Albee’s Who’s Afraid of Virginia the Wolf?. You are cordially invited to George and Martha’s for an evening of fun and games.
(Virginia, as a wolf, sitting and drinking her cocktail like a dog laps up water. Ted tries to take her drink and she growls at him.)
ANNOUNCER (continuing)
Drop in for drinks and brace yourself.
(Blackout)
