Written by Joe Janes
10/3/09
258 of 365
CAST
Juanita, 60
Merle, 40
Zak, 80
Felicia, 20
Nadia, 30
Jesus, 33
(Everyone except Jesus is huddled downstage looking out at an image on a wall. They are enraptured. Upstage, Jesus, in robes and sandals, walks across from stage right to stage left. Before clearing the stage, he stops when he hears this…)
JUANITA
It’s a miracle.
MERLE
It’s a sign from God almighty.
ZAK
I’m going to pray for it to heal my erectile dysfunction.
(He starts praying.)
FELICIA
It looks just like him…from this angle.
NADIA
It fills me with hope. It means Jesus is looking out for us.
(Jesus is a little annoyed by hearing this, He comes up through the center or the crowd to see what they are looking at.)
JESUS
What am I looking at?
JUANITA
It’s the image of our savior.
JESUS
I’m not seeing it.
MERLE (demonstrating)
Soft eyes, soft eyes…
JESUS (using soft eyes)
…Okay…I think I see it…what’s it made out of?
ZAK
Bird poop.
JESUS
What?
ZAK
Several pounds of bird poop. See, the pigeons roost up there under the overpass. They poop and it dribbles down the side. After all these years, it’s formed into this heavenly apparition.
FELICIA
It’s truly a miracle. I once saw the bird poop cry.
NADIA
A sign that in these dark, desperate times, our shepherd is here to save us. To protect us. I feel so blessed.
(Jesus looks at the image more intently. Then shrugs.)
JESUS
Looks like Elvis.
(He exits as the rest look at the image differently and with sadness and disappointment. Lights fade.)
