Sadly, this man wonders the streets of New York only able to afford this thrift store ensemble of a pair of striped boxers and a flamboyant wife-beater. The minimal threads of cotton he is able to clothe himself with is equal to the shreds of dignity he has left.
This condition has led him to shaving his armpits and airing them out to dry in public.
This man can sometimes be seen late at night on obscure television channels parading around with overweight people obsessively trying to agitate their sweat glands to music played by dead people. The only rare sighting of him wearing pants is on a DVD about "loving oneself." Clearly, the love he has for himself is of an abusive nature and he is in need of a professional to intervene. This man should stop seeing himself immediately!
With your donation, we might be able to get this man the clothes and the help he needs.
THE BS NEWS QUIZ OF THE DAY
Friday, I asked...
"La Tasca, a Spanish Tapas restaurant in Richmond, Va. was recently fined $2,000 for serving what?"
42% said "Patatas A Lo Pube"
- Yum! Try it with the crabs.
No one went for "Toe-tilla Espanol" or "Pinchos Mucus"
- Both of which are wonderful with a little mole sauce.
58% got it right with "Sangria"
According to the AP, since 1934, the state of Virginia has prohibited mixing wine or beer with spirits. Frances McDonald, vice president of La Tasca Spanish Tapas Bar and Restaurants, found that out the hard way when his Alexandria location was cited for violating the sangria ban in 2006 and fined $2,000. McDonald said his business received no warning about the ban. Well, first off, ignorance of the law is no excuse, buddy. And this law makes perfect sense. Just ask anyone the morning after a robust evening of bouncing around between beers, wine and shots. That pounding in my head and that multi-colored swill spewing from my guts are an affront to mankind.