Wednesday, March 12, 2008

The News

Sometimes the news itself is so damn funny, I have nothing to add.

Governor Spitzer of New York aka "The Sheriff of Wall Street," getting busted for being a high-paying john? That's a set-up and punchline right there, my friends. The biggest laugh I've had this week came from Barrack Obama when the Clinton campaign dropped hints they might offer him the vice-president position on a ticket. He said (paraphrased from memory), "Why would I accept being vice-president to the person in second place?"

As far as Spitzer goes, I really have nothing funny to add that The Daily Show, The Colbert Report and Countdown with Keith Olbermann haven't already covered and done better than I ever could in my blogosphere bubble. I will say two things, though. Whenever a politician or an evangelist is vocally super critical of something like prostitution, homosexuality or drugs, look out. Secondly, what's up with these wives who stand by their man at a time of ultimate humiliation for themselves and their families? Unless you were in on it and endorsed the behavior, let these jerks stand up there by themselves with their little weenies flapping in the wind.

Okay, one more thing... $5,000 to poke a hooker? Does this include a day at the spa and a gift bag? Does she use some rare kind of special lubrication culled from baby seals? What exactly are you getting in that blowjob that you couldn't get for a couple hundred somewhere else? An extended warranty? For my money, she better be humming the Star Spangled Banner and have a sparkler coming out of her ass. This is the real crime. A politician who doesn't know how to be frugal.


Yesterday, I asked...

"Officials in Jakarta are trying to deter commuters from riding on top of trains by doing what?"

28% said "Yelling shameful things at them"
- "You're disgracing the honor of your family, asshole!"

14% said "Poking them with a stick"
- That's what they do after the commuter falls off the train. To see if they are alive.

No one bought "Electrocuting them"

57% got it right with "Spray painting them"

According to the BBC, rush-hour trains in Jakarta are sometimes so packed that, to be on time for work, people are forced to get up on the roof and crouch below the black electric pylons until they reach their stop. But starting this month, guards are patrolling the stations, armed with canisters of coloured liquid. Their aim is to spray-paint anyone riding on top of the trains, to get some discipline back into the railways.

Here's an idea, Indonesia, just spit-balling here, how about providing MORE TRAINS!