Meta Giddy

I spent fourteen hours at the theater yesterday in rehearsal and then detailing our oddly
elaborate set. This morning, I have to build a big, rubber cartoon mallet, cut
out a bounty of rubber meat, and find "the right" lamp shade and a string of
white Christmas lights all before 1pm for our first preview tonight.

Our set is incredible. It's a work of art in the truest sense of the word. If WNEP were
smart, they'd scrap the play and just charge people to come in and look at the set.

Tonight is our first time doing the show in front of an audience. Always an exciting time
for a show, but especially so given that Metaluna is a comedy and chock full of dada. I honestly
don't know what to expect, even though the show has been produced twice before to critical
acclaim. It could be a train wreck. If it is, it will be the most beautiful train wreck you
ever saw.

Previews - Tonight, Tuesday and Wednesday at A Red Orchid Theater, 1531 North Wells Street
in Chicago. Half a block down from North Avenue. $5 at the door.


THE BS NEWS QUIZ OF THE DAY

On Friday, I asked...

"Dallas County commissioner Kenneth Mayfield has been accused of being racially insensitive for publicly using which term?"

50% said "Gypped"
- Come on, now. Not all gypsies are gypsies.

30% said "Indian Giver"
- This never made sense as a derogatory term against "Indians." It makes more sense if you are leveling it at someone, who like the government, gave land to the native Americans, broke treaties and took it away. I hear by propose we all start using "Treaty Breaker" when dealing with someone who gives something and then takes it back. Or just use "asshole."

10% said "Brown Out"
- Obvious mistake. Someone mistook his comments about energy to be a plea for genocide.

10% got it right with "Black Hole"

According to The Dallas Morning News, county commissioners were discussing problems with the central collections office that is used to process traffic ticket payments.

Commissioner Kenneth Mayfield, who is white, said it seemed that central collections "has become a black hole" because paperwork reportedly has become lost in the office.

Commissioner John Wiley Price, who is black, interrupted him with a loud "Excuse me!" He then corrected his colleague, saying the office has become a "white hole." That prompted Judge Thomas Jones, who is black, to demand an apology from Mayfield for his racially insensitive analogy.

All right, folks. Have we learned the lesson of fellow Texan George W. Bush, yet? "Someone you'd have a beer with" is not a criteria for leadership and governing. Stop electing idiots to government. I want to start seeing report cards and grade point averages on elected officials.

For the record, Commissioner John Wiley Price is also offended by the movie title The Dark Knight, director David Lynch, and prefers bartenders not measure his drinks with a jigger.