Wednesday, September 5, 2007

Not What, But How

In the writing program at Second City, we spend a lot of time telling you what to write and we do a lot to encourage you keep writing. One area we tend to neglect is telling you how to write. Many people don't even realize they don't know how to write. We assume we got that training in school and either it took or it didn't.

I have always had lots of ideas and have done a lot of writing ever since I was a kid. Still, I don't feel like I learned how to write until I was 33 and took a class from Michael McCarthy. Long before the writing program existed in its current form, Mike taught some free-form classes out of the dressing room of the ETC Theater. Mike spent a good portion of one class time actually talking to us about how we approach writing. It was valuable advice that has stuck with me ever since.

The way I used to write was one of two things:

1) Wait to be inspired and then write until the idea comes to fruition or until I feel un-inspired by the same idea.

2) Sit in front of the television with a legal pad and a bag of chips....eat, write, watch, scribble, eat, write, watch, etc. And this is the way I wrote when I had a deadline!


Basically, I really hated the act of writing and only wrote when I had to. It was a chore to me.

Mike suggested a structure to writing, like working out. First, find the time of day that works best for you as a writer. Our brains all work differently and peak at different times. I'm usually best in the mornings. But you should experiment and try different times and see what works best for you and your noggin'.

Like a workout, Mike suggests warming up. The actual time you devote to each step is up to you and your available schedule.

Here's a basic outline:

30 minutes of putzing around
- This is to get the blood flowing all over. I usually use the time to tidy up or do the dishes.

30 minutes of reading
- It should be something completely unrelated to what you are working on so your brain can devote itself to being fed. Books are nutritious!

45 minutes of writing
- This is very important. Stick to the allotted time. At 45 minutes, even if it is mid-sentence, stop! In fact, you'll probably remember better where you were at if you stop mid-sentence.

15 minutes break
- This part should be filled with something completely mindless. Crank up the AC/DC and dance with your cat. Do whatever, but do something very physical. Play!

45 minutes of more writing, repeat as necessary.


Again, if you are pressed for time, adjust it. It could easily be 15 minutes of putzing around, 15 minutes of reading and 30 minutes of writing. You'll be amazed at how productive you can be just devoting 10 minutes to each.

By doing it every day, at least five days a week, your body and brain will start to gear up for it.

This is how prolific writers are so prolific. They write. And a structure like this, with putzing around, reading and breaks built in, helps keep you from getting burned out. Writing regularly will also allow you to shake your attachments to ideas and free you up to try different things. You'll be more willing to fail, which can greatly improve the quality of your material.


Writing just 45 minutes a day, I'm able to write and polish at least one 3-5 page sketch a week.

Consistency is the key. With my blog, I write the first draft at night before I go to bed and then finish it in the morning when I get up. My brain tends to work on it while my body sleeps. If there's something I don't like about the first draft, I usually have it solved when I wake up.

Your environment is also important. Make sure you enjoy where you are at when you write. Set up your space so it works for you. Experiment with it. Hemingway wrote standing up. Of course, he shot himself, so take his suggestions with caution. He may not have been getting proper arch support. I sit at a kitchen table and have all sources of music and television turned off. There's usually a cat or two nearby, but they know not to get between me and my keyboard. I prefer quiet so I can better listen to the words I'm writing. Some people prefer to blast music. If I am working on a period piece, I will sometimes play the music from that era in the background or on my breaks. Again, experiment and find what works for you.

Usually when I have a student who consistently brings in material they don't like, they also don't like the situation in which they wrote it. If you're like that, try something different. Or if you are churning out scripts like an assembly line and are feeling a little crispy for it, slow down. Take breaks. Take care of your body. Writing takes energy and the coffee can only get you so far.



SUNDAY IN THE PARK WITH DADAS




Photo by Fuzzy Gerdes.



THE BS NEWS QUIZ OF THE DAY

Yesterday, I asked...

"Discussing his post-presidential years in an interview with Robert Draper, President Bush says he expects to be doing what?"


36% thought George would be "Writing books on politics."
- Um, sure. Why not? Compassionate Conservatism told through pop-ups. No.

18% picked "Visiting impoverished nations."
- No. He only visits countries that have oil. And it's not visiting, it's invading.

9% answered "Helping the poor."
- Well, he has been helping the poor all through his administration. He's been helping them become poorer. And he's been making more of them. But, no.

The correct answer which 36% got, "Getting in the car. Getting bored. Going to the ranch."

According to The Guardian, Bush said, "I can just envision getting in the car, getting bored, going down to the ranch." He also has big plans for making money. "I'll give some speeches, to replenish the ol' coffers," says Mr Bush. As ridiculous as him giving speeches sounds, you have to give him props. He's finally willing to work for a living.

Tuesday, September 4, 2007

Dada D-Day


Last week was a heavy rehearsal schedule for Soirée Dada: Blinde Esel Hopse. On top of running the show and ironing out details, we hit Millennium Park on Sunday afternoon in full costume and make-up to hand out post cards. It was a lot of fun. Kids love us. Park security guards hate us. Dada Boxcar discovered that the lions in front of the Art Institute are fully equipped in the rear. It was a bright, sunny day. I found out that the whiteface make-up acts as a sunblock. When I got home Sunday night, I noticed I had a rim of light sunburn around my face. I spent Labor Day feeling exhausted and took it easy. Recharging my batteries for this week's schedule and opening. (The above picture is the German dadaists tormenting one of the french dadaists. It was taken by the multi-talented Michael Brownlee.)

Here's info about the show and a special deal just for this weekend.

Soiree DADA: Blinde Esel Hopse
(Loosely translated: DADA Party: Blind Donkey Hopscotch)

For photos and info go to:
http://www.wneptheater.org/index.php?option=com_content&task=view&id=98&Itemid=33

September 7 – October 14
Thursday - Saturday @ 7:30 p.m, Sundays @ 3 p.m.

At the Studio Theater in the Chicago Cultural Center, 77 East Randolph Street
Tickets are $20
($15 for students and seniors)
312.742.TIXS (8497)

***ALERT! SPECIAL OPENING WEEKEND DISCOUNT when you get to the box office say “Monkey shines” and touch your nose. You will get $5 off!*******

THE NOD

Greg Wendling of I'm So Tired has joined The Nod. He will be one of our guests in the first half of the show. You can also check out his friend Madge Fairwell, an older woman grappling with a rapidly changing world, at Madge's Musings.



THE BS NEWS QUIZ OF THE DAY

Yesterday, I asked...

"Two men went on a drinking spree in Soweto, South Africa. What makes their excursion unusual is what?"


29% answered "They posed as police and drank free."
- No, and I hope I didn't give anyone any ideas. Or that they at least raise a glass for me.

29% also thought it was "They are both only five years old."
- Big, hairy five year olds, apparently, who prefer their milk shaken, not stirred. Nope.

Nobody fell for "They woke up in a front yard sans pants."
- Guess it was too normal an occurrence for my readers.

42% got the correct answer, and just a wrong thing to do, is "They stole a hearse with a body in it."

According to the BBC, the men were caught after the hearse ran out of gas and they asked three women they had met at a drinking den to help push the hearse. The men told the women they were on their way to bury the body of a relative but the women told the police. The hearse driver said it was stolen when he parked outside his home to go inside to get money for gas. Stealing a hearse with a body in it sounds like the plot of a bad 80's frat boy movie, but who stops to get money for gas on their way to a cemetery? If I die in South Africa, just feed me to the zebras.

Monday, September 3, 2007

It's Labor Day!

Celebrate by going outside and NOT doing any labor.

In case you miss work, here's a music video from a song called My Cubicle, a parody of James Blunt's You're Beautiful. Written by Keith Hughes, performed by Jym Britton and Scott Bennett. Not sure who cut it to scenes from the classic Mike Judge comedy Office Space. It was posted to YouTube by Tundra77 and has slug for "effectmatrix.com" superimposed into it.




THE BS NEWS QUIZ OF THE DAY


On Saturday, I asked...

"A woman in Cuero, Texas believes the roadkill she found outside her ranch is none other than what?"


50 % of you chose "The Virgin Mary"
- Or Jesus. Or Elvis. Or, no.

No one went for "A leprechaun" or "A unicorn" or "A leprechaun impaled by a unicorn."

50% picked the correct answer "A chupacabra"

According to the Associated Press, Phylis Canion believes the roadkill she found last month outside her ranch was worth putting in a freezer hidden from curious onlookers: Canion believes she may have the head of the mythical, bloodsucking chupacabra. Chupacabra is Spanish for "Goat Sucker." A local vet thinks it might just be a strange dog taking up space next to her frozen peas. I think a saw a "Goat Sucker" in Tiajuana, once.

Saturday, September 1, 2007

Saturday Morning Cartoons!

"Hare-way to the Stars" (1958)



"Marvin Martian," or "Marvin the Martian," as he is more formally known, first appeared in a 1948's Haredevil Hare. The problem with Marvin in Haredevil, aside from being a nameless at the time, is that his voice doesn't sound the same and he looks a little different. It's like watching those early seasons of The Simpsons where Homer sounds more like Watler Mathau than, well, Homer. Plus, Hare-way has my favorite Marvin Martian quote, "Where's the ka-boom? There should have been an earth-shattering ka-boom." I also picked Hare-way because it's one of the most surreal cartoons to come from Warner Brothers and Chuck Jones. Marvin's space station comes without a ceiling, very few walls and is oddly affected by the laws of gravity.

Here's an image from Haredevil of a less refined Marvin giving his dog K-9 the boot.



Anyone who has seen the improvised horror show Danse Macabre knows that the disembodied voice host of Conrad Brünst that I do is a mix of Marvin with Dr. Strangelove.

Enjoy!

Hare Way To the Stars

Posted Oct 14, 2006

Bugs Bunny meets Marvin on Mars




MOVIE THEATER RANT

If you're like me, every trip to a movie theater is a roll of the dice. I'm either going to have agreat time or be annoyed as hell by the rude people around me. Ken Levine has a nice rant about this on his bog, By Ken Levine.



DADA REHEARSAL




We open on Friday! Last night was our first time going through the whole show in costume and make-up. For some interesting "casual dadas in rehearsal" pictures, go to assistant-co-captain director Bob Fisher's site, Devil Vet.



THE BS NEWS QUIZ OF THE DAY

Yesterday, I asked...

"Actor Kent Hudson Reed recently had to excuse himself from the stage during an outdoor production of 'Julius Caesar.' His parting words as 'Brutus' were what?"


15% said it was "I really did break my leg!"
- No, but his luck would have been better if he had.

14% picked "I just swallowed a bug."
- Ah, the joys and dangers of outdoor drama. Alas, no.

No one picked "I think that's my cellphone."
- Which I thought was a natural given some actors I know. You know who you are.

The correct answer, that 71% of you nailed, was "I seem to have stabbed myself."

According to the Associated Press, in Aspen, Colorado, Julius Caesar lay dead and Brutus was talking to his co-conspirators about swords and blood when he paused and excused himself, saying "I seem to have stabbed myself." Actor/director Kent Hudson reed was quoted as saying "That's what you get for trying to kill Caesar." No, that's what you get for using a real edged sword in a play, dorketh.

Friday, August 31, 2007

Seriously, Though...

ROBOWRITERS ASSIGNMENT

Sometimes, I'll have a student who's trying just a wee bit too hard to come up with something funny. As a result, they usually bring in nothing or something painfully forced. "Gotta be funny" is a tough thing for ideas to measure up to. It usually means many perfectly decent ideas are discarded before they have been adequately considered.

For this student, I usually assign The Serious Scene. Or The Straight Scene. The word "serious" can be misconstrued to mean the scene needs to be full of pain and pathos, which is not the case. It simply means to seriously deal with the story of a scene without any need to funny it up.

A good resource for this kind of scene is your own life. I recommend generating a list of pivotal moments or events, positive and/or negative.

Here's one that's a mish-mash of ones I have heard over the years...

1) parents divorce
2) coming out
3) buying a house
4) having a child
5) learning mother had a terminal illness
6) going to my first funeral
7) getting a divorce
8) proposing marriage
9) going to college
10) flunking the fourth grade

Again, this is from several different people over the years. I have personally only experienced 40% of what's on the list. Your list should be from your own life experience and, since you're not posting it on the Internet, be truthful and try to cover a wide variety.

As you can see, some of these things denote a moment while others may be a series of events. In both cases, it's good to do a second list that explores the elements more deeply. For this one, I will use one of my own experiences. Parents getting a divorce. It's a list of the first ten things I associate with that event.

1) Mom sitting me down to tell me
2) sitting alone in the empty house we moved out of with my dog that I had to give away
3) telling my girlfriend my parents were getting a divorce
4) delaying going to college to stay with my mom
5) meeting my dad and his new wife a year and a half later
6) eating liver and onions, a lot
7) asking my girlfriend at the time to marry me
8) talking to my mom's therapist about the divorce
9) my mom getting screwed over in court
10) moving from a big house to a small apartment

Doing this exercise might bring up some tender emotions. That's okay. In fact, it's useful. It will help you be honest when writing out the scene. Again, there are items on the list that can be easily developed into a scene. "Talking to my mom's therapist" or "Mom sitting me down to tell me" could almost be written as I remember them. Some items don't seem to have much stage potential, such as "eating liver and onions, a lot" and "sitting alone in the empty house we moved out of with my dog I had to give up." But both are interesting details and might be used as a part of the scene or a reference in the scene. Other items are still too broad, like "moving from a big house to a small apartment." I would probably have to do another list breaking it down to a specific moment, such as physically moving boxes in or unpacking.

If you have to combine a few different elements, that's okay. I might put "telling my girlfriend my parents were getting a divorce" in the same scene as "asking my girlfriend at the time to marry me," even though they took place at different times in different locations. What's important is that I stay honest to the spirit of the characters, emotions and situations. And there will be humor - me asking my girlfriend to marry me with her in her McDonald's uniform smelling like french fries and me in my bathrobe is going to be funny - but the humor will be organic to the scene.

Resist falsely heightening the scene to try to make it more interesting. You might not think it's that interesting because it happened to you. Others might be captivated by it on its own because characters being honest and telling their truth is interesting.

So that's the assignment. Write a "serious" scene.


THEA LUX JOINS THE NOD

Thea Lux joins Don Hall, Dave Awl, Nat Topping and myself as a featured blogger at The Nod September 19th at the Uptown Writers Space. Thea is a writer, musician, artist, actor, improviser, director and just one of the funniest and most creative persons I know. She's currently in a few shows at The Annoyance and you can look up her band, Let's Get Out Of This Terrible Sandwich Shop , on iTunes. Check out her website by clicking HERE. You can check out a sampling of all our works HERE.


THE BS NEWS QUIZ OF THE DAY

Yesterday, I asked...

"An elementary school in Colorado Springs has recently banned what from its playground?"


12% answered "Nuclear Weapons"
- No. That was an isolated incident and they don't want to make a big deal about it.

13% said "iPods"
- No, but they probably should, if only because the teachers probably can't afford them and it just rubs that humiliation in their faces.

No one thought it was "Unauthorized Cootie Shots"
- No, but they are cheaper if you buy them in Canada.

The correct answer, that 75% got it, is "Tag"

According to the Associated Press and assistant principal of the Discovery Canyon Campus school, Cindy Fesgen, the elementary school banned tag on its playground because "It causes a lot of conflict on the playground." I totally see their point on this. Schools should ban everything that has any element of competition to it or may, in any way, prepare the student to the harsh realities of life.

I've heard they are also considering banning "Duck, Duck, Goose" because of how maligned it makes geese feel. Some other games are still allowed, but with stipulations. "Red Light, Green Light" is now just called "Yellow Light" and must be played with caution. "Musical Chairs" can only be played with a one chair per student ratio.

Thursday, August 30, 2007

The Nod is Coming

Don's doing the press for this, so I'm probably jumping the gun and talking out of school. Consider this a super sneak preview tip. And even though I'm the source, I refuse to confirm or deny what I am about to tell you.

On Wednesday, September 19th, come see The Nod.

Don Hall and I are putting together an evening of bloggers reading their material for an audience. One thing I noticed about my venture into the blog world, inspired by Don, is that I tend to write in my own voice. Literally. Generating the material reminds me of my days doing stand-up. I often read my posts out loud before publishing them. One of the reasons I enjoy Don's posts so much is because I can hear his voice in my head when I read his diatribes (and tritribes and quadtribes). Seemed like a pretty natural step to put together a live performance.

Joining us will be fellow RoboWriter Nat Topping, Neo-Futurist Dave Awl and perhaps one more special guest. The evening will be in two parts with the four (or five) of us taking up the second half. We'll be doing some type of free-form existential tag team reading from all our blogs. One of us will kick off the portion of our show with a post of their choice and then the rest of us, in no particular order, will read posts that expand or connect to the initial topic. Or takes everything in a whole new direction. We've never done anything like this before, so who knows how it will go? Nat, Dave and Don are all very funny and very smart, so I have no doubt about the evening being entertaining and thought provoking.

The first half of the evening is open to you. If you have a blog. People are invited to sign-up in advance and then come to the evening and read two or three posts they have published. This part is sort of an open mic for bloggers. You do need to be confirmed in advance, though. To do that, send us an e-mail at thenod.don.joe@gmail.com.

The Nod with Don Hall and Joe Janes will be at the Uptown Writer's Space, 4802 North Broadway on Wednesday, September 19th at 8pm. Free snackies and drinkies. $5 donation requested. if all goes well, we'll do this once a month at various venues around the city.

To check out a preview of the featured bloggers check out The Nod website.


ROBOWRITERS TONIGHT

Speaking of RoboWriters, it's Thursday! That means RoboWriters night. If you have a sketch you are working on, bring it in. We meet at 6:30pm also at the Uptown Writer's Space at Lawrence and Broadway. $5.


CRACKED.com!

If you read Cracked as a kid, you know it as a poor man's MAD Magazine. They have completely re-invented themselves. Check out their website. Sure, there's juvenile scatological comics (Winnie the Pooh in Deadwood is one), but they also have some interesting articles. I was shocked to see how much I agreed with this one, Five Great Comedians Who Have Lost It.


THE BS NEWS QUIZ OF THE DAY

Yesterday, I asked...

"Winnie Langley celebrated her 100th birthday by doing what?"

38% answered "Eating a pound of bacon"
- No, but doing that would keep her salty and well-preserved.

25% said she was "Stripping down to a g-string"
- Yeah, but they made her stop when her pasties scraped the floor. I mean, no.

No one thought it was "Drinking a shot of tequila"
- What's the order? Salt. Shot. Metamucil. No.

The almost number one answer is also the correct one, 37% said "Smoking a cigarette"

According to the Daily Mail, Winnie not only lit up off one of her birthday cake candles, it was also her 170,000th so called "coffin nail." She's became a smoker when WWI broke out and she was seven. She has smoked five cigs a day ever since. She says smoking helped calm her nerves during the world wars. I think I hear Phillip Morris getting an erection.

Wednesday, August 29, 2007

Show & Don't Tell

The rhythm of a scene is very important. Not only in performance, but on the page, as well. When a scene is being read, either aloud by actors or alone by a director, nothing can gum up the pacing more than stage directions. This can even be harmful if scenes are being read to be considered for a show.

One thing I see a lot of in sketch writers just starting out is a tendency towards too many darn stage directions. Part of this comes from wanting to make sure everything is crystal clear. The problem is that it interrupts the flow and can actually make things muddier. The trick is to just suggest enough paint a picture in someone's imagination without going overboard.

New writers might overload their stage directions before the scene even begins. It might look something like this...

(Lights up on a greasy spoon diner. MARVE, the owner and chef, is out back throwing out grease when CHIP enters stage right dragging a small carry-on bag that has one of those extendable handles and wheels. Chip is in town on business and has just checked in at his motel, but the room isn't ready. So, he decides to get a cup of coffee. He is recently divorced. He stands next to a dessert carousel loaded with cakes and pies. MAYBELLE is the sixty year old waitress who is smoking a cigarette and reading the paper at the counter. Marve enters stage left and can't believe what he sees. He yells at Maybelle to wait on Chip.)


All we need is what the audience can see. Lights up. Who's on stage and what are they doing? Anything else that's important can come out in action and dialogue. We don't need Chip's life story. We don't need to know what Marve is doing right off the bat if we don't see him. Unless it's really important, we don't even need things like stage right and stage left. That's what directors are for.

Some writers, borrowing from film and television formats, will give too little.

(A restaurant. Day.)


I think you need a little bit more info otherwise, especially for someone listening to the scene being read, people will get lost. Or they'll get frustrated in having to keep shifting what they are envisioning. "A restaurant" could be a five star fancy plate place or a fast food joint. And it doesn't tell us if it's crowded or empty or who the heck is on stage.

Here's a tighter way to start that still helps readers and listeners without hindering them with too much information.

(Lights up on a greasy spoon diner. MAYBELLE, 60, in a waitress uniform, is alone smoking a cigarette and reading the paper at the counter. CHIP enters dragging a small carry-on bag. MARVE enters wiping his hands on his apron.)


I moved Maybelle to the first part because she would be the first thing the audience sees. She's already there when Chip enters. I also cut "Marve yells at Maybelle," because that will be the first line of dialogue.

When people are reading or listening to your sketch for the first time, they are looking for clues. They want to know what they absolutely need to know to get what's going on. Everything is important to them and they will try to remember it all. If you overload them with a lot of unnecessary information, it becomes a burden to enjoy the scene.

That's also true for overdoing action or acting notations.

MARVE (angrily)
Maybelle! This isn't the Automat. I don't pay you to smoke and read.

MAYBELLE (sarcastically)
You don't pay me to do much of anything. Consider this me doing extra.

(Marve gives Chip a "What are you going to do?" look. Chip shrugs and looks around the room. Marve pulls out a chair for Chip to sit in. Chip sits. Marve crosses to stage left to get Chip a menu and comes back and hands it to him. Chip looks it over.)

MAYBELLE (still reading at counter)
What will it be, Honey?

CHIP (distracted)
Just a cup of coffee.

(Marve gets Chip a cup of coffee.)



If this were being read out loud, I would probably instruct the actors not to wait for the person reading stage directions to say things they can convey, such as angrily. Unfortunately, the person reading your scene alone has to read them all and it's a bit much. It slows down the pacing and tells them things they probably already know. There's also a lot of stage action that actors would naturally do or that readers would envision.

Here's what that looks like tightened up.

MARVE
Maybelle! This isn't the Automat. I don't pay you to smoke and read.

(Marve pulls out a chair for Chip to sit in.)

MAYBELLE
You don't pay me to do much of anything. Consider this me doing extra.

(Chip sits. Marve hands Chip a menu.)

MAYBELLE (still reading)
What will it be, Honey?

CHIP
Just a cup of coffee.

(Marve gets Chip a cup of coffee.)


I broke up Marve's action, so Marve would pull the seat out right away as he's speaking and dialogue would cover his going for the menu.

Only include
sits, stands or crosses if they are really integral to what you are setting up. Otherwise, let the director and the actors do their jobs. Same goes for notations like; dryly, sarcastically, with eyes rolling, etc. Smart actors with a good director will figure this stuff out. In fact, if you saddle them with too much of this minutia, it might keep them from discovering something better. A good rule of thumb is that if it doesn't reveal something new about the character or forward the action, you can probably live without it.



THE BS NEWS QUIZ OF THE DAY

Yesterday, I gleefully asked...

"U.S. Senator Larry Craig has been arrested for lewd conduct in a men's public bathroom. He claims his actions were misconstrued, that he what?"

50% said "Is claustrophobic and keeps the stall door open"
- Creepy, indeed, but if he's just tending to the business of waste elimination, it's only an offense to the eyes. So, no.

30% picked "Always drops his pants at the urinal"
- Man, nothing weirder than seeing a grown man do this, but as long as he's just shaking it off and not jerking it off, it's not a crime. Nope.

Nobody thought it was "Can't help making those moaning sounds"
- We all know that sometimes, it just happens. It's only when the yodeling starts that we need to be concerned.

The right answer, with 20%, is that the senator claims he "Just has a naturally wide stance"

According to The Idaho Statesman, the undercover cop at the Minnesota airport in the stall next to Craig, knew Craig was interested in some mano-y-mano hanky-panky when he started tapping his foot and moved it to touch his under the stall. Craig's defense is that he just has a wide stance. And a hankering for anonymous weenie.