Strange and Satisfying

The Reader recommends you come see Metaluna. The review isn't on-line at the time of this posting, but it is in print. They plug us on their website's homepage with a picture of Regan in religious attire and whiteface. Oddly, they have linked us to info on Late Nite Catechism!

The Tribune has also reviewed us, but I couldn't find it on-line. Don has it posted at AWG.

Our second weekend starts tonight at 8pm at A Red Orchid! Come and get your Dada!


THE BS NEWS QUIZ OF THE DAY

Yesterday, I asked...

"Police were called to Dick's Market in Centerville, Utah because of a reported bomb that turned out to be what?"

30% said "Canned Ham"
- I think that's a description of Robert Downey, Jr's performance in Iron Man.

40% said "Package of Foot-Long Hot Dogs"
- That bomb goes off about 45 minutes after you eat them.

10% said "Rolled Oats"
- Quakers don't make bombs.

20% got it right with "String Cheese"

According to UPI, an employee of Dick's Market reported seeing a cylindrical device wrapped in duct tape near a dry ice cooler after police received a phone tip of a bomb in the store, the Ogden (Utah) Standard-Examiner reported Wednesday.

Centerville police Lt. Paul Child said the store was closed for about two hours while bomb sniffing dogs and a bomb technician ensured there was no real threat to the store. The device wrapped in duct tape turned out to be a piece of string cheese.

No arrests have been made. They believe it was an employee playing a prank. Me? I think it was a promotional stunt for these guys.

I Believe...

- I believe that the amount of money spent on presidential campaigns is obscene and should be a source of shame for our country. Millions of dollars that could be spent on feeding the hungry, sheltering the homeless, easing healthcare costs, etc, is pissed out the window on pablum and spin. Candidates should be restricted to formal debates, press conferences, interviews on real news shows, text-based websites and cheap leaflets printed on recyclable paper. It is our duty to find out about them and where they stand, not theirs to sell us an image like they were New Coke.

- Do what you love and the money will follow. Apparently, I need to stop doing what I love, so the money can catch up.

- I believe Ricky Gervais is a comic genius, but if you need cheering up, Extras and the original The Office have an opposite effect. It's like laughing while falling down a well. Where's Benny Hill when you need him?

- I believe the main reason relationships fail is the inability for people in this day and age to shift from a "me" mentality to a "we" mentality and to be for and in service of each other's hopes and dreams. Just saying. No reason. Anyone want to buy a diamond ring?



THE BS NEWS QUIZ OF THE DAY

Yesterday, I asked...

"Matthew Pillars and Jack Keiffer of San Luis Obispo, California have been sentenced for doing what to a passed-out drinking buddy?"

63% said "Posting pictures on the Internet with their genitalia on his face"
- I hope that didn't give anyone any ideas, Don Hall.

18% said "Writing 'I'm Very Gay' on his forehead"
- It's the "very" that made it slanderous. That's like ultra gay.

9% said "Dropping him off at a homeless shelter, naked"
- He had plenty of offers for bunkmates.

10% got it right with "Setting his crotch on fire"

According to the San Luis Obispo County News, two men accused of setting their friend’s groin on fire were sentenced to jail and prison this week.

Matthew Craig Pillers, 22, and Jack Brent Nicholas Keiffer, 19, pleaded no contest to felony causing a fire that leads to great bodily injury, according to court officials.

The men routinely drank together and played practical jokes on each other. That night one of them poured cologne on Tuleja's groin area while he was passed out and allegedly lit his pants on fire, according to prosecutors. Tuleja suffered second-and third-degree burns on his testicles and third-degree burns on his inner thighs.

Second and third degree burns on his nads? Toasting someone's testicles is their idea of a practical joke? I want to party with these guys! Maybe they'll hog tie me and drag me through a cactus field. Won't that be good times!

Welcome to Dada!

(photo by Michael Brownlee)

Time Out - Chicago has posted a review...


THE BS NEWS QUIZ OF THE DAY

Yesterday, I asked...

"In an attempt to cut down on casualties in Iraq and Afghanistan, the British Army is doing what?"

44% said "Dressing up mannequins as soldiers"
- That's what America does when it wants to inflate its numbers from coalition countries, like Albania.

22% said "Using remote controlled toy cars"
- That only works in movies, which means we should try it. George seems to have watched a lot of John Wayne and Clint Eastwood flicks.

22% said "Sending less troops"
- The most effective way to reduce casualties in my book. Time tested, mother approved.

11% got it right with "Training dogs to parachute"

According to The Sun, fearless German Shepherds are being trained to jump from aircraft at 25,000ft wearing their own oxygen masks and strapped to special forces assault teams.

Once down in hostile terrain in Iraq or Afghanistan, the dogs will be sent in first to seek out insurgents’ hideouts with tiny cameras fixed to their heads.

The cameras will beam live TV pictures back to the troops, warning of ambushes or showing enemy leaders’ locations.

The cameras will also beam extreme close-ups of balls being licked and crotches being sniffed.

One Amazing Weekend

We just wrapped up the opening weekend of Metaluna and I feel pretty damn good about it. We had three reviewers come check us out, so I'll let you know what the "pros" think when they publish their thoughts about our little play. I was really wiped out by the end of the show on Saturday and went home and plopped right into bed. I spent most of Sunday pursuing one of my favorite activities - sleeping. I was well rested for the show on Sunday which I think helped that show be one of our best. Everyone seemed very relaxed and confident and the mad chaos backstage seemed neither mad or chaotic. The only snafu of the evening that I caught, literally, was being stabbed in the top of the head by the one of the metal spokes of an umbrella. But, hey, it's not theater without a little blood.

Here are some pictures taken by Jerry Schulman...










THE BS NEWS QUIZ OF THE DAY

On Friday, I asked...

"A Daytona Beach police officer has been fired for threatening Starbucks employees with what if they didn't give him free coffee?"

42% said "A flurry of speeding and parking tickets"
- Not hard to do. Just hang out near a Starbucks and see that abundance of double-parking and speeding off to get to work on time.

28% said "Drug arrests"
- I think you could make a case for Starbucks just being a socially acceptable form of a meth lab.

7% said "Strip searches"
- Not sure I want to see what that barrista has hiding under his green apron.

2% got it right with "Slow emergency response"

According to The Associated Press, an internal affairs report says Lt. Major Garvin, a 15-year veteran of the Daytona Beach police force, demanded free coffee and tea from a Starbucks and threatened employees with slower emergency response times if they refused. Besides demanding free drinks, workers complained that Garvin also cut in front of paying customers.

First off, I think cops in general need to go easy on the coffee. Last thing we need is someone jittery who's packing heat. Secondly, I think his threat was misunderstood. He meant that if he did not get any coffee, his response time would be slower. He'd be a little sluggish and dealing with migraine headaches. I can totally relate.

The Amazing Dr. Horrible

DR. HORRIBLE AND HIS SING-A-LONG BLOG

Why are you reading this blog when you could be watching THIS?

(Brownlee - I downloaded this onto iTunes and will bring it tonight.)


METALUNA AND THE AMAZING SCIENCE OF THE MIND REVUE

We open tonight and there is not a seat available! The audience will have to stand. However, we do still have seats available for Saturday night (8pm) and Sunday (7pm). To buy tickets on-line, go HERE.

ROBOWRITERS

We're going on hiatus for the summer. Turns out, people aren't as geeky as we are to give-up their Saturday afternoons on bright, sunny days to sit inside and talk sketch comedy writing. Stop by, if you can. 1pm, Gorilla Tango, 1919 North Milwaukee. Only $5.


THE BS NEWS QUIZ OF THE DAY

Yesterday, I asked...

"Calvin Morett of Saratoga Springs, NY, was ordered by a judge to write a letter of apology for attending a high school graduation dressed as what?"

45% said "The Joker"
- There's a commencement speech I'd like to hear. "Remember grads, what doesn't kill you, only makes you stranger."

9% said "George W. Bush"
- Ah, Joker without the make-up. Or the smarts. Just the destruction.

9% said "Paris Hilton"
- Not a problem, except it was his version of Paris Hilton eating a hamburger. He sucked the sesame seeds off the bun.

37% got it right with "A 6-foot penis"

According to The Associated Press, a judge has ordered a 19-year-old man to write an apology to a the city of Saratoga Springs in New York for dressing in an offensive costume at a high school graduation. Calvin Morett had pleaded guilty to disorderly conduct for dressing in a 6-foot penis costume at the graduation at the Saratoga Performing Arts Center.

They guy's got balls. Careful, they might trample you.

Walk It Off

Tah-Dah!



Walk It Off


Description: From Mountain Battles, now out on 4AD.

Crew
Directors: Bryan Bedell & Steve Delahoyde
D.P.: Ryan Taylor
PAs: Aimee Dinschel & Ray McWherter

Actors:
Businessman: Joe Janes
Messenger: Paul Thomas
2nd Messenger: Denae Friedheim
Genie: Justin Kaufmann

The Breeders have put this up on their MySpace page and will post the "official" version on their website soon. The other version is one large screen with four small screens and allows you to toggle between them. Sort of like editing your own video.

THE BS NEWS QUIZ OF THE DAY

Yesterday, I asked...

"Charged as a sexual predator, Daniel Allen Everett of Clarkston, Michigan was arrested while wearing a t-shirt that said what?"

25% said "Plays Well With Others"
- Apparently just a subjective opinion. His own.

No one picked "Good Girls Are Bad Girls That Never Get Caught" or "Here I Am - Now What Are Your Other Two Wishes?"

75% got it right with "World's Greatest Dad"

According to WXYZ, Channel 7 in Detroit, Attorney General Mike Cox announced today the arrest of Daniel Allen Everett, of Clarkston, Michigan - a man whose shirt proclaims him as the "World's Greatest Dad" - for using the Internet to arrange a meeting for sex with a minor.



In Mr. Everett's defense, that "W" is clearly the logo for the World Wrestling Entertainment. He's the world's greatest wrestling dad, which means he wasn't going to hurt her, just make it look like he was.

I Believe...

I BELIEVE...

- That cartoons are not to be taken seriously. The New Yorker cover of Barack and Michelle Obama could easily have graced the front of MAD Magazine. Except MAD's would have been funnier.

- I don't put one medium over another for an enjoyable experience. I love radio and film as much as I love theater and television. But as an artist, there's nothing that beats watching and hearing a live audience laughing and responding in the moment to a work you helped create.

- Forget about smoking bans. Is their some way we can make people take showers and brush their teeth? C'mon people. It's summer. Things are getting a little ripe around here.



METALUNA AND THE AMAZING CAST

We did our second preview last night. This cast is amazing. Hard working, creative and putting everything they have into this production. That includes Jen, our fearless and tireless director, and Diana, our stage manager. John Wilson and Sarah Gorsky designed our set and lights, respectively, and have truly transformed that tiny theater space into some kind of traveling medicine show. As the playwright, its very humbling to see so many people forge their creativity for something you wrote. The massive investment of hard work and money also makes you pray really hard that it doesn't suck.

Don has some great pics up on his blog.


Here I am as Dada Baden Baden about to thwack Sigmund Freud (Dennis Newport) on the noggin' with a brilliant "cake" as he chats with Dr. Cartlon Twist (Michael Brownlee).

Tonight is our last preview. Your last chance to see the show for only $5. 8pm. A Red Orchid. 1531 North Wells.

THE BS NEWS QUIZ OF THE DAY

Yesterday, I asked...

"Because of his use of a fake mustache for a disguise, a Chicago bank robber has been dubbed what?"

36% said "Frito Bandito"
- Aye-yi-yi, no!

18% said "Hitler Bandit"
- Man, that dude has just totally ruined that look for everyone.

9% said "Snidely Whiplash"
-That's only when he robs banks in Canada.

37% got it right with "Groucho Bandit"

According to the Chicago Sun-Times, he dons a fake rectangular mustache for bank robberies -- dubbed the "Groucho Bandit" after the 20th century comedian -- and is believed to be responsible for at least nine holdups at North Side banks in the last six weeks. He not only announces he's robbing the place, but also claims to be armed and threatens to hurt employees if his demands aren't met.

There are "oral demands for money, but no imitations of the great comedian," said Ross Rice, spokesman for the FBI office in Chicago.

Clearly this guy needs to work on his schtick. Seems like he's starting to bring in some cash, so I think he should hire a writer.

GB: Pardon me, but this is a stick-up.
TELLER: I don't-a see-a no stick.
GB: You've got a good point there, you do. The only thing keeping that hair in place. How about this then... this is a hold-up?
TELLER: It is a hold-up.
GB: Glad to see we're on the same page here.
TELLER: Yes, you-a hold-a-up-a this line.

Needs work. We'll polish it on the road.