It's a new year, right? Because I have such an unconventional schedule, there doesn't seem to be much delineation between week days and weekends. The same with new years. I was so busy working on shows, that it didn't seem like the end of one thing and the beginning of another for me. Until now. I had a lot of my focus and energy on the Sketchfest show with Don. Now that it's over, I feel like one chapter has finished and another has begun.
What made Locked in a Room particularly appropriate for this time of year is that it really is a touchstone for where both Don and I are at in our lives. We vented a lot about all the stuff that bugged the crap out of us in 2007. It was a blast to perform and we had a ton of support from the Sketchfest crew - Tim, Brian, Jill, Tom and the always ultra supportive Posen. On Saturday, it was nice to close the show and then go hang out at Don and Jen's with friends eating pizza, drinking wine and playing the Disney version of Scene-It. The next morning, at 10am, I was at a Robot vs Dinosaur rehearsal for our Sketchfest show on Thursday.
Some of the things I am looking forward to in 2008...
- Having Robot vs Dinosaur do our first run of a show - Having Robowriters continue to grow - Doing more with Fig Media as a creative director - Having my play Metaluna remounted by WNEP - Writing more and seeing my work produced - Julie and I continually making our apartment homey - The end of the writer's strike - Bush and Cheney leaving office (I know - he technically doesn't leave until 2009, but I'm wishing and hoping he gets the long deserved boot before then) - Working with Don and Jen more - Hopefully, we'll get The Nod cranking on a monthly basis and do another short run on Locked in a Room somewhere - Volunteering more at 826 - Taking more classes at Columbia - And while I always look forward to teaching, I don't think I'll be doing more than usual in that area this year, but you never know.
But, mostly, I look forward to the world waking up a bit more around being a global community. We're all on this planet together. And all those scientists and politicians on the oil and auto industries' payrolls who claim global warming is a myth can suck my ass because it's January 7th and we're having record-breaking warm temperatures in the 60's here in Chicago! How awesome that Bush is visiting here today.
In case you were unable to make our show...
And here's Saturday's audience. That's Geoff Crump laughing his ass off!
THE BS NEWS QUIZ OF THE DAY
Friday, I asked...
"Ricky Labit, who is 6-foot-3, 265 pounds, has been banned in Houma, Louisiana from doing what?"
20% said "Working at a health club" - Yeah. Hard to be inspired by a trainer whose water bottle is filled with bacon fat.
20% said "Wearing a thong at the beach" - I don't think you'd be able to see the thong. His body would absorb it.
6% said "Riding the bus" - He can ride the bus. He just has to pay two fares.
54% got it right with "Eating at a buffet"
According to The Daily Comet, Ricky Labit says the Manchuria Restaurant in Houma overcharged him for his trips to the buffet line, then banned him and a relative because they're hearty eaters. According to Labit, the waitress gave them a bill with extra charges on it and said "Y'all fat, and y'all eat too much." Apparently, Labit went to the buffet as much as three times a week. Okay. Two things. One - it's a buffet, the management has to take their lumps when a human steam shovel comes in and starts to pack their innards to the neck with peel and eat shrimp. Two - dude. Being banned from this restaurant may have saved your life. Go grab some carrot sticks and go for a long walk.
Sometimes on Sunday morning's I would be jonesing for some cartoon action. The best one could find was very blatant christian children's programming. Davey and Goliath was the king of this, as far as having a quality that actually appealed to kids. But I also remember a cartoon called Jot. Jot was a dot, just a round ball with triangle feet. The animation style is actually kind of cool. The stories were always uber-simple, dealing with Jot doing something bad and then having to deal with the torturous consequences. Jot debuted in 1968 and ran in syndication throughout the '70s. It was drawn by UPA, most famous for their signature-style animated commercials from the 50's and '60's and most famously for the classic cartoon Mr. Magoo. It was written and produced by a Southern Baptist outfit in Dallas, so you know there's no subtlety going on here. It's fun, though. This one is about Jot stealing a cupcake and lying about it. He has an acid-trippy descent into hell because of it.
TONIGHT!
It's your last chance to see Mr. Hall and myself at Chicago Sketchfest. It's an early show, so there's enough time to catch us and one of two others without going on comedy overload.
The Theatre Building 1225 West Belmont (between Racine and Southport - three blocks west of the Belmont El stop) There is street parking available on Belmont Avenue. There is also a valet service available right in front of the theater for $8.
Tickets vary in price depending on what kind you get for the festival. For individual shows, though, it's no more than $15. You can get them at the door if you arrive early enough. For more ticket info call (773) 327-5252 or go to www.ticketmaster.com (search "Sketchfest 2008")
Nat Topping at some insightful and kind words about our show over at Clever Title.
Thank you for coming to last night's show, if you were there. We had a great turn out. The Reader referred to us as "veteran" comedians, which we got a big kick out of. I know they meant it as a compliment, but to me it just means "old fuckers." Regardless of how veteran one is, it's pretty scary to put up a show of all new material and show it to an audience for the first time. We had two segments involving audience interaction that didn't go as planned -hard to find an audience willing to come to rehearsals. And our silent scene tanked. Our big ass crate set pieces were falling apart as the show went on, which added a nice element of danger. Everything else worked really well and the big surprise to me was how well our "I Believes" worked.
Don and I often post reviews on our blogs, so we're hoping people take the opportunity to turn the tables on us and post a review of our show.
IOWA
Well, now that the Iowa primaries are over, I think a lot of people are going to pay more attention to the presidential campaigns. It's thinned the herd a bit and left the contenders. The only decent republican candidate is Ron Paul, who didn't have a big showing, but is still in the race. I like Huckabee, but he's shown himself to be just too unaware at some of the things going on in the world. I shouldn't be more aware than the president when it comes to important current events. Obama rocked. He gave a victory speech that was inspiring and really did give me hope for America! Not an easy task these days.He was followed by Edwards and Clinton. I would love to see an Edwards-Obama ticket, with Obama as vice-president. I think Clinton would be scary as anyone's vice-president. Think Dick Cheney in drag. Do it anyway, it's fun.
THE BS NEWS QUIZ OF THE DAY
Yesterday, I asked...
"In his new book, author and A.I. expert David Levy predicts that by the year 2050 we will be doing what?"
30% said "Having robot work surrogates" - I'd love to be able to hire out my robot self to do some work while I dick around on my blog, but then it would lead to some big robot slave revolt and we'd get our asses all Matrix-ed.
10% said "Having cars that are also offices" - Judging from the fast food wrappers you would see on the backseat floor of my cars' past, we're already there.
No one said "Having computers in every room" - Big Brother is watching you. And he wants to see you pee.
60% got it right with "Having sex with robots"
According to The Houston Chronicle, Levy says that by 2050 we'll be creating robots so lifelike, so imbued with human-seeming intelligence and emotions, as to be nearly indistinguishable from real people. And we'll have sex with these robots. Some of us will even marry them. So, still no flying cars, but we'll be able to stick our weinies in our Playstations. Like we haven't tried already.
I look forward to seeing this in everyone's livingroom.
Tonight, Don Hall and I will be performing the new version of our show, Locked in a Room with Don Hall and Joe Janes: 2 Guys, 1 Cup directed by Jen Ellison. If you are a fan of our blogs, you will not be disappointed. We take our digs at improv, the state of our worlds, the state of THE world, and do some major spleen-venting over George W. There are also two "scene" scenes, I guess you would say. One about the strongest man in the world and the richest man in the world fretting that they never gave their dear departed mother what she really wanted... grandchildren. The other about a chance encounter in the woods with a leprechaun (a word I learned to spell by writing the scene, but will still likely pronounce it lepperkarn with an Ohio twang.).
If you saw the show last year, the only things this show has in common are all new "I Believe's...," a silent scene set to a funky Neil Hefti tune (He wrote the theme to Batman in the 1960's), and an ending that will shock you and have you scrambling for the exit. It is not for the squeamish.
We've been frantically pulling it together, which has been a little tricky coming off the holidays. What that means from an audience perspective is that we have not managed to get through the "this makes me giggle like a school girl" part of the rehearsal process. Don keeps cracking me up.
You have two chances to see our show. Tonight (Thursday) and Saturday night.
Thursday, January 3rd at 9:30pm (w/ Premature Infatuation) Saturday, January 5th at 7pm
The Theatre Building 1225 West Belmont (between Racine and Southport - three blocks west of the Belmont El stop) There is street parking available on Belmont Avenue. There is also a valet service available right in front of the theater for $8.
Tickets vary in price depending on what kind you get for the festival. For individual shows, though, it's no more than $15. You can get them at the door if you arrive early enough. For more ticket info call (773) 327-5252 or go to www.ticketmaster.com (search "Sketchfest 2008")
THE BS NEWS QUIZ OF THE DAY
Yesterday, I asked...
"In spite of the writer's strike, all the latenight talk shows are returning tonight. The only one with its complete writing staff is which?"
11% said "Latenight with Conan O'Brien"
No one thought it might be "The Tonight Show with Jay Leno" or "Jimmy Kimmel Live!"
89% got it right with "The Late Show with David Letterman"
According to the Associated Press, David Letterman had reached an agreement to allow writers to work on his show; Jay Leno and Conan O'Brien and ABC's Jimmy Kimmel returned without theirs. Letterman, who might be a little prickly to work with, is a class act and has hopefully led the way for a quick end to the strike. The other guys, who all also took care of their staffs while on break, definitely struggled to fill the time. Kimmel skipped his monologue altogether and started his show from his desk. Conan and Leno did monologues. Conan clearly working without cue cards. Leno wrote his, which is a violation of his WGA membership. We'll see what kind of fallout that brings. The only person who really ended up looking bad is Mike Huckabee. A presidential candidate who crosses a picket line because he thought the WGA had struck a deal with the The Tonight Show? Dude. Grab a newspaper. Learn to read. Not that that would keep him out of office, as evidenced by the last seven years.
2008 has a big shaky grin that is desperately trying to hide an underlying sense of dread.
While I have a lot to be grateful for and a lot to to be looking forward to personally in 2008, I am not exactly full of cheer.
George W.'s last year in office should be a good thing, except I don't think he's done crapping on the constitution, bitch-slapping the democrats in congress and killing US military and Middle East civilians. There's more millions he needs to make for his friends while costing us trillions. It's going to be a long year. Assuming he doesn't pull out one of his unchecked late Friday afternoon executive orders to keep his ass in office, we'll get a new president by the end of 2008. Possibly worse (Guiliani), possibly better (Obama). If better, gear up for the republican machine to fire up 24/7 to spin and exploit whatever it can to bring him or her down. It's the kind of crap that pussywhipped Carter while he was in office and it wasted valuable time, money and energy while Slick Willie held the seat.
Meanwhile, our country's reputation as a world leader has been horribly damaged over seven years and reshaped into a "fuck you, we're America" unstable, violent arrogance.
Full of good cheer, aren't I? Believe it or not, my pessimistic outlook for the new year shifted a bit through the death of a high school friend, Vicki Carnicom. She passed away just before Christmas. She was truly a good person. I was unable to attend the funeral, but a mutual friend (everyone's mutual good friend at P.C.H.S.), Lori Letterhos, sent out an e-mail describing Vicki's beautiful send off.
She included a passage from the Bible that was read at the service...
1 Corinthians 13
Love
If I speak in the tongues of men and of angels, but have not love, I am only a resounding gong or a clanging cymbal.
If I have the gift of prophecy and can fathom all mysteries and all knowledge, and if I have a faith that can move mountains, but have not love, I am nothing.
If I give all I possess to the poor and surrender my body to the flames, but have not love, I gain nothing. Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud.
It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs.
Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth.
It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.
Love never fails.
I'm pretty jaded about the Bible, too, but sometimes it surprises me with it's simple, indisputable wisdom.
The Beatles said it this way... All You Need is Love.
The message has been around for thousands of years. Guess it's time to start listening.
Happy New year to you. Thank you for reading Bite and Smile. I hope it has brought, and continues to bring in 2008, moments of laughing out loud at your computer while giving your brain something to chew on.
This was first posted in late April. It was the third post I ever put on this site. Circumstantially, it is all still true except in 2008 I will be doing more work with Fig Media as a creative director. Hopefully, the creative director position will soon lead to part-time employment with benefits and will still allow me to teach.
Mondays tend to be long days for me.
Every week day, I get up at six am, feed the cats (Houdini and Oona), check e-mail, read, see my girlfriend off as she leaves for work, write and prepare for the day. On Mondays, I teach two classes in the afternoon at Columbia and then teach a class in the evening at Second City. I have been teaching at Second City since 1997 and at Columbia since 2004. This is my main source of income. I love teaching, but it has its frustrations as a life support system. I only get paid when I teach. When we're on break or vacation, I'm not getting paid. There's no salary, no health benefits. And if a class gets cancelled because there wasn't enough students enrolled, tough cookies. Doesn't matter that I cleared my schedule or planned for that money. It's gone. Columbia does give you a $100 consolation prize. I think that's to cover the cost of the booze or low-grade drugs you'll need to forget that you're now out a few thousand bucks.
When school's in session at Columbia, I usually teach two classes that meet twice a week. At Second City, I'm usually scheduled for two classes. I would love to teach more at both institutions. For the money? Yep. But also because, I LOVE teaching and have compiled enough experience to be able to handle the workload.
At Columbia, I'm part-time faculty. Most everyone there is part-time faculty. It's how they keep tuition costs low. That means they can't really throw more classes my way without having to answer to someone somewhere about making me full-time. At Second City, I'm considered a Guest Artist, which is beyond me. It's the lowest rung on the faculty ladder there. I used to be a Core Faculty Member, which I enjoyed. Unfortunately, during my time as the Artistic Director of ComedySportz, I wasn't able to maintain my Core Faculty duties, so I was, justifiably and with my agreement, bumped down. Then, of course, about two months later I left CSz. It's going on a year, now, since I left and I still haven't been able to get bumped back up at Second City. The advantages to being Core Faculty is that you are guaranteed three classes a term and are first up for workshops and intensives.
So, why do I put up with such a shaky income stream?
I love to teach.
In the spring of 1997, I was hired into The Second City National Touring Company. About a day later, I got a call from Martin DeMaatasking if I would like to teachimprov classes.
"Um, why me?"
"Gut feeling. I think you'd be good at it."
"When would I start?"
"Tomorrow night."
"What do I do? What do I say?"
"It's the first class. Just run them through some basic 2-3 person scenes. You'll know what to say."
And he was right. I was surprised to discover that once I got in the room and started to work with them, I did know what to say. It was like every teacher I ever admired was whispering in my ear. I saw my words have a positive impact on how improvisers performed in scenes. I saw people light up.
I haven't found anything better. I direct, I write, I act, but mainly, I teach.
Wow - that last sentence made me gag. I love the other stuff, too. Probably as much. Sometimes more. Out of all the possible sources of income for me as an artist, teaching has been the most consistent. Teaching pays most of the bills. And I'm happy to be doing what I love.
Columbia College: My grades came in from both my history class and biology class. I got "A's" in both! That hasn't happened since my first quarter at Wright State University. Then I discovered a social life and it all plummeted from there. Unfortunately, being a part-time student, I don't get on the Dean's List. However, I found this other guy named Dean that I'm hoping will put me on his list.
SATURDAY MORNING CARTOONS!
Grab a bowl of Frosted Flakes, pour too much milk (soy) into it and sit your butt on a pillow in front of the screen! Last week's was a sketch by Peter Cook and Dudley Moore making fun of an old TV show called Thunderbirds Are Go!
