Crap

It looks like I won't be making it to Improvised Shakespeare tonight. If you haven't seen it, though, do. I think it's the best improv show in town.

Back!

Robowriters is starting to get some buzz. After almost a year, I made a flyer and this week, The Reader plugged us in their "Heads Up" comedy listings. I have intentionally kept RoboWriters to word-of-mouth and a few e-mail, message board campaigns because I didn't want the number of people attending to get out of control. That hasn't been a problem. We've had decent turnouts and definitely fun times, but we have never reached our cut off point. There's room for more, if that has ever been a concern for you attending.

The Reader plug should generate some interest, but I'm also a little concerned about a misconception. Here's the mention...

Joe Janes, a local comedian and playwright who's written for Saturday Night Live and teaches at Columbia College and Second City, is also the artistic director of Robot vs. Dinosaur, which has produced the weekly writing workshop RoboWriters since last May. (Scroll to the bottom of Janes's blog, biteandsmile.blogspot.com, for an archive of homework assignments.) Writers of all levels of experience are welcome; space is limited to 15 and the first 10 are guaranteed a reading of their work and feedback. 1-3 PM, Gorilla Tango Theatre, 1919 N. Milwaukee, 773-531-1792 or rvdchicago@comcast.net, $5. --Ryan Hubbard

Ryan rocks. He's a big supporter of sketch comedy and improv. Everything's accurate, but I don't tell people I've written for SNL. I tell people I wrote for Weekend Update. For two years, I wrote freelance for Weekend Update. For two years, whenever the show was in production, I faxed in at least five news items by 5pm on Friday afternoon. The first year I did it, there was around 30 of us freelancers. The second time, there was 60. Competition's pretty fierce among the SNL staff writers to get material on the air. Try being a faceless, nameless e-mail address where the only thing speaking up for you are the words on a piece of paper. Actually, maybe SNL should try doing that.



SHAKESPEARE, IMPROVISED

Tonight I will be making one of my rare appearances with the brilliant cast of The Improvised Shakespeare Company. 8pm. iO. The Del Close Theater.



ONE MESSAGE. LOUD AND CLEAR

"Impeach Bush Now" Google hits - 46,400

Tuesday, March 4th - get your voice heard by creating a worldwide Cyber Shout. Post on your blog, on message boards, comment sections, where ever you can, "Impeach Bush Now!"

Here's a page from Serendipty, chock full of articles about impeaching mssrs Bush and Cheney. Great resource.



The BS News Quiz of the Day

When the hell did I ask this? Last Friday?

"Jerry Keene of West Virginia was identified as the robber of a convenience store in spite of his attempt to disguise himself by doing what?"

27% said "Squinching up his face"
- And then he threatened to take the clerk's nose using nothing but his thumb and forefinger.

27% said "Pulling his turtleneck up over his head"
- Police then found him because he was the only man with a loosey turtleneck collar.

18% said "Covering his face with his hands"
- Which only works if you are trying to rob a two-year-old.

27% got it right with "Putting underwear on his head"

According to The Charleston Gazette, McDowell County sheriff's Chief Deputy Mark Shelton says Jerry Keene entered a convenience store, concealing his face with the underwear, allegedly showed a gun and demanded money. Shelton says witnesses identified the suspect, despite the disguise. Hopefully, Mr.Keene has learned his lesson. Switch from thongs to boxers.

The Birds

Yesterday was a rough, long day here in San Antonio. A good chunk of the day was devoted to playing a game that I created that mixed trivia questions about products with trivia about things you should have learned in school and done in a style similar to "Are You Smarter Than A 5th grader" mixed in with Field Day type of activities. It had a lot going on and a lot of details to juggle. It went well, though. We didn't get through everything I prepared, but we all had a good time - including me. By the time the sessions ended, I was exhausted and didn't want to go to the evening event.

The evening event was at a place called the Buckhorn Saloon. A fun and disturbing place. Every animal that can be conceiveably stuffed and mounted was on display. The giraffe head mounted on the wall - full length neck included - was freaky. There was also a walrus head which just didn't seem right. It was like an ancient nature museum if P.T. Barnum were to build it. There was even a section for stuffed two-headed calves and such. I cannot think of any animal not represented. They even had shrunken human heads.

Aside from the vacant dead animal eyes staring at me all night, the food was terrific. They were very accommodating to my vegetarian needs. Afterwards, they gave us all poker chips and we got to play different games (for no money, boo!). It gave me a chance to practice Texas Hold'em which turned out to be a lot of fun.

This morning I was burning to get out of this hotel and go for a walk. When I walked out of the hotel, I heard birds. Tons of them. I looked up and every tree had every branch populated with blackbirds. It sounded just like the Hitchcock film, a screechy, scratchy noise. I walked slowly avoid both being pooped on or eaten.

I explored the Riverwalk a bit and found a small artists community called La Vallita. It was too early to check out any shops, but it had a very nice southwest feel to it, including a small chapel.

Even though I have spent most of my time in the hotel, I feel like I have a taste of San Antonio. In spite of the cold weather in Chicago right now, I can't wait to get home.

Howdy

I am sitting in the back of a conference room at a Hyatt in San Antonio as I write this. I am listening to a dapper guy talk about being a better salesperson. The weather has sweetened up around here. Sunny and in the upper 60's and I'll be stuck inside most of the day. I like San Antonio, it's a mix of rich American history and the Wisonsin Dells. Right across from the Alamo is a Ripley's Believe It or Not Museum. And who in their right mind would come to San Antonio and eat at The Rainforest cafe? Or Fudduckers, for that matter. Only in America.

Howdy

I am sitting in the back of a conference room at a Hyatt in San Antonio as I write this. I am listening to a dapper guy talk about being a better salesperson. The weather has sweetened up around here. Sunny and in the upper 60's and I'll be stuck inside most of the day. I like San Antonio, it's a mix of rich American history and the Wisonsin Dells. Right across from the Alamo is a Ripley's Believe It or Not Museum. And who in their right mind would come to San Antonio and eat at The Rainforest Cafe? Or Fudduckers, for that matter. Only in America.

No Cartoons

I'm in San Antonio, right now. Like my trip to Orlando a month ago, the weather here is cold and rainy. I've been here three-and-a-half hours and I have already heard "Guantanamero" six times, twice performed live, and ate some really horrible Mexican food at a place the cab driver swore wasn't touristy. It was.

The BS News Quiz of the Day

Yesterday, I asked...

"Because of Alaskan State Trooper Howard Peterson's recent experience, Anchorage may want to consider road signs that say what?"

8% said "Speed Humpback"
- Oh, no! I just lost my hubcap hitting that blow hole!

8% said "Bear to Your Right"
- Ah, another Kodiak moment.

No one fell for "Dangerous Wolves Ahead"

84% got it right with "Beware of Falling Moose"

According to The Associated Press, Alaska State Troopers see plenty of hazards, but Trooper Howard Peterson was nearly felled by a new one: falling moose. Peterson was driving Feb. 2 on the Seward Highway south of Anchorage when something big and black fell out of the sky about 20 feet in front of his patrol car. Drivers often see Dall sheep on the cliffs but rarely moose. Peterson estimates the animal fell 150 feet or more.

So, they think it was an accident. I have a different theory.