Monday, April 21, 2008

Hyde and Go Seek



THEATRE REVIEW

Clay Continent
Adapted and Directed by Bob Fisher
The Mammals
The Peter Jones Gallery
1806 West Cuyler, 2nd Floor
Two shows left - April 25 & 26
$10
1-866-593-4614 for reservations



For the record, I know the actors and the director of this show very well. Have worked with them all before. Know 'em, love 'em, want to give birth to their babies.

Now the review.

Clay Continent is a riff on the classic Strange Case of Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde by Robert Louis Stevenson. Most adaptations of classic stories typically do one of two things; they either take the adaptation too literally making a rather ham-fisted affair or they abandon the story entirely and just use the concept and character names - most adaptations of Frankenstein and Dracula follow the second tactic. Clay Continent, thankfully, doesn't fit comfortably in either category. It focuses on the three main characters; Jekyll, Hyde and Utterson.

Utterson? Who the hell is Utterson? In the novella, Utterson is Jekyll's lawyer and friend. If, like me, you are more familiar with the countless TV and film adaptations of the story, you have never heard of Utterson. Even though the Stevenson story is told from his perspective, the character is often cut to focus on Jekyll/Hyde and the impact his duality has on his love life.

In Clay Continent, Bob Fisher has stripped away the story to focus on the turmoil the three central characters are going through. There is no narrative. The characters speak lines collaged from several different works. They often speak simultaneously creating an orchestrated effect. They move in and out of each other's spaces as their pain ebbs and flows. The actors all wear microphones, amplifying their heavy breathing and speaking and heightening the nightmarish quality of the piece. The performances are full of life. Don Hall (Utterson), Jen Ellison (Jekyll) and Dave Goss (Hyde) each crawl, eek, or barrel across the stage fully committed to their characters. Hyde is the only character to address the audience, which is disconcerting since he is one messed up bastard. He is not the devilish Hyde we know from films. No cape, cane or top hat. He is hunched over, snarling, and he does mean things to cats.

While I admire the staging of the piece - it is also very strikingly visual - and I appreciate it digging into the subtext of the story, I found it alienating. The characters are so wrapped up in what they are doing, there doesn't seem to be any effort to include the audience. It goes on in spite of us. And the characters are all at such a heightened state, there's also no opportunity to connect or relate to any of them. I feel that Utterson, being the most grounded of the three, should be the person I most associate with and perhaps even root for, but there are no moments that allow for that. I think it's a very basic element of theater to engage the audience and that didn't appear to be one of their goals. It's interesting, but I wouldn't recommend it for date night.



METALUNA AUDITIONS

What the fuck, people? We had fifty people who reserved an audition slot. We scheduled people at ten minute intervals to make sure we ran on time. We had 21 people not show up! How fricking unprofessional is that? I have never run into that before in any set of auditions ever. We think what happened is that people may have freaked out at the last minute. People were told to do two minutes of whatever they wanted to do. We saw some great stuff, though. Some traditional monologues, some anecdotes, a woman juggled a sword, one auditionee didn't show up in person, but sent a package containing a flip book of his face and a cassette tape of him singing a song. We had a lot of great people show up, so I'm not worried about casting the show. But when 21 people don't show, that's a lot of unnecessary down time forced upon the playwright and director. Even more frustrating was when no one bothered to show up in the last hour on Saturday. At Columbia College, if a student signs up for an audition and doesn't show up, they are blackballed from auditioning for the rest of the semester. You can bet WNEP is going to keep track. If we can't count on you to show up to a confirmed scheduled audition, we can't count on you to be in a show.


ROBOWRITERS ASSIGNMENTS

Last week we didn't have one and we don't have one this week. Next week may be in question, too, as we have tech all day Saturday for our new show. But keep checking in. We will get back in the groove on these. In the meantime, I recommend doing a rewrite of a piece you haven't looked at in some time.


THE BS NEWS QUIZ OF THE DAY

Friday, I asked...

"A structure built for the 1958 World's Fair in Belgium celebrated its 50th anniversary. It was built to resemble what?"


18% said "Elvis's guitar"
- No. (I got nothing here.)

9% said "Dwight D. Eisenhower"
- Perfect with Ike's forehead.A predecessor of the geodesic dome.

No one said "A Chevy"
72% got it right with "An atom"

According to The Associated Press, Belgium last week celebrated the 50th anniversary of the Atomium, an oddity of modern architecture touted as the "most astonishing building in the world." Built for the 1958 World's Fair in Brussels, the Atomium is a towering structure made up of nine giant aluminum-clad spheres linked with steel tubes. The sci-fi design represents an iron atom magnified 165 billion times.

Dammit! We were supposed to be wearing tunics and living in these structures by the year 2,000. Dude, where's my flying car?



Friday, April 18, 2008

One Year

According to my site meter, I have been keeping track of visitors to Bite and Smile since April 24, 2007. Before I even discovered what a site meter was and that I could get one for free, I had been posting since April 22, 2007.

Over the year, having a blog has sharpened my writing skills. I move more quickly and am generally satisfied with my product. This has been helpful to me when working freelance under a deadline. In the quest for generating daily material, it has made me more aware of the world news. This has also made me more cynical. A part of that is acquiring a healthy dose of skepticism. Another part of that is just plain thinking humanity has been fucked over by greed and there's no turning back. Trying to make funny out of that has been a challenge.

It also has me questioning the value of entertainment. Why do we do this? Who are we helping? How are we helping? Should we really be trying to take people's minds off of reality, whatever that is? Isn't that as much of a distraction as a bunch of flag pin-less people talking about Obama's lack of a flag pin? Am I being a part of the problem?

I mulled over the possibility of doing a blog for quite some time. My biggest fear was that I wouldn't have anything interesting to say. That also became the reason to do it. If I don't have at least one interesting thing to say every day, that's pathetic. By the very nature of being human, I should be able to come up with one goofy nugget a day that people can relate to.

So, after a year, what I really want to know is, who are you and why do you read this thing? What would you like to see more of? How has this been helpful to you? Going into my second year, I want to make sure I am providing as best I can what you, friendly readers, are looking for. Let me know what's on your mind about Biting and Smiling.


ROBOWRITERS TOMORROW!

Best deal in the city. Constructive, honest feedback from experienced sketch comedy writers for only five bucks. At Gorilla Tango, 1919 North Milwaukee, at 1pm.


THE BS NEWS QUIZ OF THE DAY


Yesterday, I asked...

"Yale art major Aliza Shvarts has outraged many of her fellow art students because her senior project features her what?"


50% said "stool samples"
- I made art with that when I was two.

34% said "collection of pap smears"
- Nature's little Rorschach test.

No one said "breast milk"

16% got it right with "forced miscarriages"

According to The Yale Daily News, beginning next Tuesday, Art major Aliza Shvarts will be displaying a documentation of a nine-month process during which she artificially inseminated herself "as often as possible" while periodically taking abortifacient drugs to induce miscarriages. Her exhibition will feature video recordings of these forced miscarriages as well as preserved collections of the blood from the process. The goal in creating the art exhibition, Shvarts said, was to spark conversation and debate on the relationship between art and the human body.

The display of Schvarts' project will feature a large cube suspended from the ceiling. Schvarts will wrap hundreds of feet of plastic sheeting around this cube; lined between layers of the sheeting will be the blood from Schvarts' self-induced miscarriages mixed with Vaseline in order to prevent the blood from drying and to extend the blood throughout the plastic sheeting.

Schvarts will then project recorded videos onto the four sides of the cube. These videos, captured on a VHS camcorder, will show her experiencing miscarriages in her bathrooom tub, she said. Similar videos will be projected onto the walls of the room.

On the floor under her exhibit will be Don Hall's collection of mason jars filled with his own poop. Each one signed and autographed and for sale.

ADDENDUM! THIS JUST IN...

HARTFORD, Conn. (AP) - A Yale University art student duped the student newspaper with a story about inducing repeated abortions on herself and using the blood for her senior art project, the school said Thursday.

The story about Aliza Shvarts' project, published Thursday in the Yale Daily News, swept across blogs and media outlets - including the Drudge Report, Fox News and The Washington Post - before Yale issued a statement saying it investigated and found it all to be a hoax that was Shvarts' idea of elaborate "performance art."

Read the rest of the ASSOCIATED PRESS story HERE.


Thursday, April 17, 2008

Re-establishing A Groove

Thursday morning and I am doing laundry and blogging. The laundry room in our apartment building sucks. It is dimly lit, only has two washers and two dryers that sort of work, and there's the added un-attraction of having to hang with a neighbor who may (or may not) be doing their laundry at the same time. SO, I am at a laundromat a short block away. I never knew the name of it until a month or two ago because it didn't have a sign. The fancy new sign says it is called Brendel's and is a European style laundry. They play Telemundo on the television and all their signs are bi-lingual, so I guess that's what they mean by European. They also have a card you can get stamped every time you use the triple load machines. 14 washes, and they give you three bucks. Fortunately, I have a thing for triple load washes and have made back nine dollars since using their services. I did just discover that they have free wi-fi, which is now a benchmark for whether or not I like a place. Or person. If you have free wi-fi, I like you.



HEY, WE OPEN NEXT WEEKEND!!!



Robot vs. Dinosaur Presents
The Greatest Stories Never Told . . . TOLD!


Chicago, IL (April 2008): Robot vs. Dinosaur presents the world premier of their sketch comedy show, The Greatest Stories Never Told . . . TOLD! beginning April 26 through May 11, Saturdays and Sundays at 4 pm, at Gorilla Tango Theatre, 1919 N. Milwaukee Ave., Chicago 60647. Tickets are $10; to purchase tickets call 773-598-4549 or visit www.gorillatango.com. The Greatest Stories Never Told . . . TOLD! is a whimsical look at stories of adventure, tall tales and fairy tales, blended together seamlessly into a unique piece that is a hybrid of sketch comedy and storytelling.

Three story lines are interwoven through the show as well as an eclectic mix of comic scenes that combined make for a multi-layered, engaging and fun theatrical experience. Audiences won’t have time to blink as stories and scenes move from one fantastic world to the next, giving this show a more unified feel than a typical sketch comedy revue.

“We’re trying to create a new kind of show here,” says director Chris Othic, a five-year veteran of the Chicago comedy scene. “We tried to focus on story telling as a medium for our comedy writing. It’s still sketch comedy, but we’ve written some fairly complex, narrative scenes and focused on the staging so that it feels a little more like a play. It’s an interesting mix and I think audiences will love it.”

“A large chunk of our material was performed in the 2007 Chicago Sketchfest, and we got a lot of positive feed back afterward,” Othic said. “We’ve expanded on that material and we’re really looking forward to bringing something new to the sketch comedy scene.”

I wrote one of the Tall Tales pieces and have stuck my nose in about everything, so come see my piece and the tip of my nose. There's a lot of good stuff in this. Solid writing and solid performances.


AUDITIONS ARE THIS WEEKEND FOR METALUNA!!!


WNEP Theater announces auditions for Metaluna and the Amazing Science of the Mind Revue, by Joe Janes and directed by Jen Ellison. Metaluna will be produced at A Red Orchid Theatre, July 17 - August 16. Auditions will take place April 19 & 20, 10am - 4pm at the Peter Jones Gallery ( 1806 W. Cuyler, 2nd Floor). Please prepare 2 minutes of anything: Magic tricks, cooking tips, personal stories, a monologue, etc. To schedule an audition time, please send an email to auditions@wneptheater.org. You may also schedule an audition by calling 773/552-3133 on April 8th, 12pm - 5pm (Calls at any other time will not be accepted.) Walk-ins are welcome, though we cannot guarantee a time for you.



THE BS NEWS QUIZ OF THE DAY

Yesterday, while sitting near the bar in Orlando, I asked...

"Kidegaarden, a nursing home in Denmark, provides a service some people in that country are protesting. It is what?"


16% said "VIP express line in the cafeteria"
- Yah. Think it through. Do you really want to be first in line for creamed corn?

8% said "Geriatric beauty contests"
- The swimsuit contest would be frightening enough. I would be more annoyed that the answer to the "How do you solve the world's problem?" questions would all be "What? Speak up!"

No one went for "Conjugal visits with spouses"
- Create your own mental image for that one.

75% got it right with "Arranging prostitutes"

According to Bloomberg.com, when a male resident at Kildegaarden nursing home in Denmark made an indecent sexual proposal to a member of the staff, the home's director, Inger Marie Kristensen, told a nurse to telephone for a prostitute. ``There was a considerable change in his demeanor after the escort girl had paid him a visit,'' Kristensen said in an interview. ``We do this for our clients just as we offer them other services that they need as human beings.'' That, my friends, is a case of people dealing with people like they were, well, people. I wonder if Medicare covers a good crank yanking.



Wednesday, April 16, 2008

Orlando in Bloom

Hey!

Sorry I have been absent from my bloggerly duties. Schedule and lack of free wi-fi are the culprits. I am in Orlando sort of working on a huge expo. I say "sort of" because the bulk of my work was done before I left and the only on-site thing I had to do live was Sunday afternoon. So, it's been more like a mini paid vacation. Julie was able to take a few days off and came down with me. She flies back this morning and I fly back this evening.

Here are a few things I have learned on this trip...

- No matter when I come to Orlando, it is either rainy or cold. They have had record lows at night here and it's been in the 60's during the day. Not pool weather at all.

- I loved Universal Studios and Islands of Adventure. We got the express passes, which ROCK. Express passes allow you to jump ahead in line. We got free passes and were able to get express passes for only another $25. Well worth it. It made seeing both parks more doable. It also pointed up the similarities of all the thrill rides (Spider-man and The Mummy are must sees. Or must-dos.) By mid-afternoon, we were a little burnt out on the thrill rides. If you want the Universal thrill ride experience, for $25, I will strap you in a chair, spray water in your face, blow on your neck, and knock your chair around.Every thrill ride featured water and whiplash.

- No matter how old you are, you can still enjoy the hell out of whatever you are doing. I met Ken Schmidt who helped turn Harley-Davidson around in the 80's. The dude must be around 60, looked great, and loves motorcycles. It was infectious. I've never been a bike fan, but am more likely to become one after meeting this guy. And last night, REO Speedwagon played at the closing event. These guys haven't had a hit in two decades, but you could tell they really were jamming and enjoying themselves. I had a good time at the concert. i actually called friends and held up the cellphone towards the stage to catch the music. It probably sounded like I was calling them from underwater.

- It's okay for men to get pedicures.


THE BS NEWS QUIZ OF THE DAY

Last Friday, I asked...

"The Thomas Jefferson Center for the Protection of Free Speech gave a 'Lifetime Muzzle' award to whom?"


28% said "FEMA for staging a fake news conference"
- Not so much a press conference as an infomercial for FEMA.

7% said "Cop who complained about a woman yelling at her toilet"
- He was really more concerned about the potential abuse than the overheard profanity.

No one thought it was "The NY DMV for wanting a 'GETOSAMA' vanity plate back"

A whopping 64% got it right with "The FCC for applying inconsistent and arbitrary standards of indecency"

According to Reuters, The Thomas Jefferson Center for the Protection of Free Expression gave their annual "muzzle" awards to violators including police who charged a woman for swearing at her overflowing toilet, and a motor vehicles department that deemed a "GETOSAMA" license plate offensive. And it gave a "Lifetime Muzzle" to the Federal Communications Commission for years of applying what it said were inconsistent or arbitrary standards of indecency on the airwaves. Fucking assholes.

Friday, April 11, 2008

For the record...

Chinos - are pants made from a tough cotton cloth, like khakis.

Khakis - see chinos

Dungarees - are pants or overalls made of blue denim

Blue Jeans or Jeans - also pants made of denim


In referring to trousers, you may also consider these words:
bloomers, breeches, britches, chaps, cords, corduroys, denims, knickers, pantaloons, rompers, slacks.

Oh, and George W. Bush is the worst. president. ever. What's sad and infuriating is that he is so dense and filled with denial that I don't think he gets that or will ever get that. And the democrats aren't stopping him and our soldiers are dying for a war that the majority of us do not, and never did, support. Every day,
five U.S. soldiers in Iraq try to kill themselves. But Bush says we (meaning "he") must win this war that is now in its sixth year. I love this country, but do we have to be such douche bags to the rest of the world. And do we have to be dumping trillions of dollars into an unnecessary war while our own infrastructure and middle class economy crumble?

And, by the way, I prefer Levis. Classic. Straight cut. Let them fade the old-fashioned way. by washing 'em.


ROBOWRITERS


Working on a scene? Want some honest and constructive feedback? Want to work on a scene, but don't know what to write? Come to Robowriters, my friend. Saturdays at 1pm at Gorilla Tango, 1919 North Milwaukee. $5. Good times.




HAPPY BIRTHDAY, SUE!!!

My sister is having a birthday today. She is the oldest of four siblings and the only girl. We made her life hell.


THE BS NEWS QUIZ OF THE DAY


Yesterday, I wrote...

"A species of frog has been discovered in Thailand and is unique for not having what?"

42% said "Sex organs"
- Nope. Froggy's still got his junk.


42% said
"Tongue"
- And if the junk wasn't working, he's still got his tongue.


Nobody said
"The ability to sing "The Michigan Rag""

16% got it right with "Lungs"

According to the
Associated Press, Thai scientists say a frog has been found in a remote part of Indonesia that has no lungs and breathes through its skin, a discovery that researchers said Thursday could provide insight into what drives evolution in certain species. They are described as "..."flat and have eyes that float above the water. They have skin flaps coming off their arms and legs." I think they just described my Aunt Lucy.

Thursday, April 10, 2008

Yep

Pizza puffs creep me out.



THE BS NEWS QUIZ OF THE DAY

Yesterday, I asked...

"In an effort to preserve the rainforest, the government of Brazil announced it will begin producing what?"


62% said "Rainforest Hunting Parties"
- Why hunt when you can just raze?

12% said "Rainforest Jerky"
- Mmmm, teriyaki toucan.

No one went for "Rainforest Granola"

26% got it right with "Rainforest Condoms"

According to BBC News, the Brazilian government has begun producing condoms using rubber from trees in the Amazon. The health ministry says the move will help preserve the largest rainforest in the world. The new state-run factory is in the north-western state of Acre, and will initially produce 100 million condoms a year, which will be known by the name Natex.

Natex? Come on Brazil! Sexy it up a bit. How about Monkey Love Glove? The Boa Constrictor? Sloth Cloth?

Wednesday, April 9, 2008

Trek This Way

I don't consider myself a Trekkie, but I probably know too much about Star Trek to effectively shoot down the accusation. Did you know Mr. Spock's first name is Roger? That Kirk had a lovechild with an alien waitress on Nimbus 3 and that child grew up to be gassy brown cloud that tried to eat the universe? That the voice of the computer on the Enterprise isn't a computer at all, but actually the voice of an actress? Yes. I know these things.

And I got a big kick out of this when I found it on-line. Especially the saxophone player.





I used to have that album. The real deal on vinyl. Great ice-braker at parties. Well, ice-braker at the beginning of the party, great way to clear the place out at the end of the night.




THE BS NEWS QUIZ OF THE DAY


Yesterday, I asked...

"The Wheeling Island Casino in West Virginia is getting with the times by giving away what?"


50% said "Health insurance"
- Nope. Too rich for their blood!

No one went for "Free mansion" or "Groceries for life"
- People bet against the house AND the groceries.

The other 50% got it right with "Tanker of gas"

According to the Associated Press, the Wheeling Island Hotel-Casino-Racetrack is giving away a tanker of fuel. One lucky person will win about 9,000 gallons of gas or $15,000 in cash on April 18. And with the price of gasoline at a record $3.41 a gallon in the Mountain State, the petrol could be worth almost $31,000.

Sadly, you don't actually win a tanker, but gift cards for the 9,000 gallons of gas. I smell lawsuit. I would demand all the gas all at once and keep it in my driveway. Then I would sell gallons for a buck less than the gas station. Of course, I could just re-sell the gift cards, but I love the smell of gasoline and if I get bored, I can set it on fire. I am an American.