Hey, Scott,
Rose Kruger is directing the "Creepy That Way" script and was wondering if I knew anyone who might know how to get an ear and a lower leg. Well, when it comes to dismemberment, I thought of you. I imagine Wildclaw renting a Public Storage unit filled to the roof with appendages in various stages of decay with bins for "torn off," "severed" and "chewed." Is there anyone there you can hook a brother up for a cup of flesh and bone?
- Joe
satire, social commentary, sketch comedy, writing, stuff
Friday, July 16, 2010
Wednesday, July 14, 2010
I Believe...
...that I will never understand how most criminals straight up go to prison when caught, but if you have enough money, you'll just be forced to retire with a million-dollar golden parachute. Today's thugs need to trade in their hand guns for neck ties.
...that granted, Stevie Wonder's "Higher Ground" kicks ass, but Klaus Voorman gets my Chase vote for his burning bass in Harry Nilsson's "Jump Into The Fire." Crank it up.
...that the best part of what I do in my life is take what's silly very, very seriously. This is Nat Topping as The Great Sea Serpent in "The Saga of the Viking Women" lamenting about how it's not easy being said serpent. It's a beautiful song composed by Nat and it just may bring a tear to your gill.
...that I'd rather support your theater company by seeing your work and I'd rather see evidence of your support of my work by seeing you in the audience.
...that granted, Stevie Wonder's "Higher Ground" kicks ass, but Klaus Voorman gets my Chase vote for his burning bass in Harry Nilsson's "Jump Into The Fire." Crank it up.
...that the best part of what I do in my life is take what's silly very, very seriously. This is Nat Topping as The Great Sea Serpent in "The Saga of the Viking Women" lamenting about how it's not easy being said serpent. It's a beautiful song composed by Nat and it just may bring a tear to your gill.
...that I'd rather support your theater company by seeing your work and I'd rather see evidence of your support of my work by seeing you in the audience.
Saturday, July 10, 2010
Wednesday, July 7, 2010
I Believe...
...that I tend to avoid major events in the city because I hate dealing with crowds (read: idiots), especially in the heat. However, if you can pocket yourself in with a cool group of friends, fireworks along the lake are worth it and you have someone with whom to mock the boneheads.
...that not returning e-mails and phone calls isn't a gender thing.
...that I can buy hot dog eating as a sport. One must train and prepare. You can't just show up and expect to wolf down 60+ wieners in ten minutes. Hunting, fishing and bull fighting are not sports. When your opponent is an unwilling participant, it's not a sport. It's a gladiator event. Or a date.
...that, I get it, you made fireworks all by yourself or you took a trip to Indiana and bought some from Three-fingered Larry. Leave it to the professionals. They do it better and will save you an annual visit to the emergency room.
...that I love farmer's markets, but I really think the "farmers" should stick with food that was, at least, homemade and somewhat healthy. Candles, jewelry, artwork, take a hike. It's a farmer's market, not a flea market.
(In case you didn't know, my Wednesday "I Believe's" are always in response to my friend, Don Hall's, "I Believe's". Check them out by clicking HERE.)
...that not returning e-mails and phone calls isn't a gender thing.
...that I can buy hot dog eating as a sport. One must train and prepare. You can't just show up and expect to wolf down 60+ wieners in ten minutes. Hunting, fishing and bull fighting are not sports. When your opponent is an unwilling participant, it's not a sport. It's a gladiator event. Or a date.
...that, I get it, you made fireworks all by yourself or you took a trip to Indiana and bought some from Three-fingered Larry. Leave it to the professionals. They do it better and will save you an annual visit to the emergency room.
...that I love farmer's markets, but I really think the "farmers" should stick with food that was, at least, homemade and somewhat healthy. Candles, jewelry, artwork, take a hike. It's a farmer's market, not a flea market.
(In case you didn't know, my Wednesday "I Believe's" are always in response to my friend, Don Hall's, "I Believe's". Check them out by clicking HERE.)
Monday, July 5, 2010
Where YOU Can Buy "365 Sketches" Around the World
"365 Sketches" is starting to make its way into the world.
Here are some places where you can acquire it to complete your collection of books written by Joe Janes.
ON-LINE IN EUROPE
Eruditor.com
Langton Info Services, England
ON-LINE IN THE US
Lulu.com
ON FOOT IN CHICAGO
Quimby's at 1854 West North Avenue in Wicker Park. There will be a live in-store event on Saturday, August 21st at 7pm featuring me and some of Chicago's finest comedic actors performing monologues from 365.
The Book Cellar at 4736 North Lincoln Avenue in the heart of Lincoln Square.
The Second City Training Center on the fourth floor of Piper's Alley at North Avenue and Wells in Old Town. There will be live event on Friday, August 13th at 7pm in the de MAAT Studio featuring Michael Gellman and 8-10 scenes from the Strawdog 365 event. Tickets are $5 and available at the door.
Here are some places where you can acquire it to complete your collection of books written by Joe Janes.
ON-LINE IN EUROPE
Eruditor.com
Langton Info Services, England
ON-LINE IN THE US
Lulu.com
ON FOOT IN CHICAGO
Quimby's at 1854 West North Avenue in Wicker Park. There will be a live in-store event on Saturday, August 21st at 7pm featuring me and some of Chicago's finest comedic actors performing monologues from 365.
The Book Cellar at 4736 North Lincoln Avenue in the heart of Lincoln Square.
The Second City Training Center on the fourth floor of Piper's Alley at North Avenue and Wells in Old Town. There will be live event on Friday, August 13th at 7pm in the de MAAT Studio featuring Michael Gellman and 8-10 scenes from the Strawdog 365 event. Tickets are $5 and available at the door.
Wednesday, June 30, 2010
I Believe..
...that I have reached a time when my television has become one of the least important features of my living room. For getting my news and entertainment jones, it is being taken over by my Macbook Pro and my Nano. If you had told me this as a kid, I would have envisioned watching the news on my wristwatch TV while flying to work a jet pack on my back.
...that those who pointed up how Obama fired McChrystal because the general didn't agree with him missed the point and have forgotten the trail of unemployed "voices of reason" Bush left in his wake because those folks didn't tell him what he wanted to hear.
...that sleep rocks. I sleep well and have great dreams. Sometimes I only sleep 5-6 hours, sometimes I sleep eight. I never have what I would qualify as insomnia. If I can't sleep, I use the bonus time. I stay up and do something productive, like writing or the dishes or watching porn on my wristwatch TV.
...that it has been a very wet June with some amazing thunderstorms. But I'll take two days of thunderstorms for every one day of clear skies and temperatures in the 70s. Love it.
...that I find the economic downturns happening around the world fascinating, because when it comes down to it, the only people who say what value money has is us. Consider the tulip.
...that those who pointed up how Obama fired McChrystal because the general didn't agree with him missed the point and have forgotten the trail of unemployed "voices of reason" Bush left in his wake because those folks didn't tell him what he wanted to hear.
...that sleep rocks. I sleep well and have great dreams. Sometimes I only sleep 5-6 hours, sometimes I sleep eight. I never have what I would qualify as insomnia. If I can't sleep, I use the bonus time. I stay up and do something productive, like writing or the dishes or watching porn on my wristwatch TV.
...that it has been a very wet June with some amazing thunderstorms. But I'll take two days of thunderstorms for every one day of clear skies and temperatures in the 70s. Love it.
...that I find the economic downturns happening around the world fascinating, because when it comes down to it, the only people who say what value money has is us. Consider the tulip.
Wednesday, June 23, 2010
I Believe...
...that any artist who makes the claim that they don't care about the audience is lying. Or an idiot. There's no point in telling a story, no matter how good, to a wall. The wall is nonplussed.
...that people stop thinking for themselves and for the benefit of others when millions of dollars are involved. Millions of dollars that go into their own pocket. See: BP oil spill, health care reform, mining and oil drilling "regulations," food and drug safety, trade deficit, foreign relations, etc.
...that art is designed to impact how we think and look at the world around us. And how we respond to it. Just as algebra develops how we think in school, so does art. Without art, all we'd have is math. Without math, all we'd have is art. Both are important. Equally important.
...that the general populous needs to wake-up and keep electing officials who are smarter than we are, like Obama. Stop electing people who are just louder and more inciting.
...there was a theater conference in Chicago? I was too busy not going to the Just For Laughs festival. There were too many Chicago plays and sketch revues outside the formal gatherings for me to see.
...that people stop thinking for themselves and for the benefit of others when millions of dollars are involved. Millions of dollars that go into their own pocket. See: BP oil spill, health care reform, mining and oil drilling "regulations," food and drug safety, trade deficit, foreign relations, etc.
...that art is designed to impact how we think and look at the world around us. And how we respond to it. Just as algebra develops how we think in school, so does art. Without art, all we'd have is math. Without math, all we'd have is art. Both are important. Equally important.
...that the general populous needs to wake-up and keep electing officials who are smarter than we are, like Obama. Stop electing people who are just louder and more inciting.
...there was a theater conference in Chicago? I was too busy not going to the Just For Laughs festival. There were too many Chicago plays and sketch revues outside the formal gatherings for me to see.
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