Monday, November 26, 2007

Nobel Peace Surprise!

Bush to Welcome Gore to White House

Nov. 25, 2007

Forget the Mideast peace talks. A meeting that may require even greater diplomacy will take place Monday in the Oval Office, when President Bush receives America's Nobel Prize winners — including his one-time rival, Al Gore.

A lot has happened to both men in the seven years since the 2000 election.

The president has faced terrorist attacks, natural disasters, and war; the former vice president left politics to campaign against global warming.

But while Bush saw his popularity plummet, Gore's star has been rising of late — with his Oscar-winning movie "An Inconvenient Truth," and the Nobel Peace Prize for his work on climate change.

So, when they meet in the Oval Office on Monday, will they finally bury the hatchet? Don't bet on it.

You can read the rest of the story from ABC News HERE.

So, how is the exchange between the two men going to go? I think it will go something like this...

Hey, Al. Things didn't turn out so bad for us. I was elected president twice and you won a Noble Peace Prize.

Well, George, you really were only elected once, maybe. And it's Nobel.

That's what I said. Didn't know we were serving sour grapes at our little soiree today. You know, that little trophy of yours would look good on my mantle.

It's a medallion, George. See?

A medallion? Doesn't even have your picture on it. Looks like a big token. Do you redeem it for a prize, like at Chuck E. Cheese?

No, George, the medallion is the prize. And the thing about a Peace Prize is that you have to do something that promotes peace on the planet to get it.

I promote peace. I'm all about peace. My war on terror is so we can have peace.

War makes war, George, not peace.

Yeah, well, I betcha a few well placed phone calls will get me one of those. Who would I be up against for one of those next year? I'll bet Dick's got some dirt on 'em.

The Supreme Court and the entire state of Florida won't be able to get you one of these.

Then I'll make my own. I'm the president. I'm The Decider. I decided I was The Decider. I've decided to give myself the George W. Bush Nobler Peace Prize. And it'll be big. Like a bowling trophy. With a little statue of me on top in my flight suit giving the peace sign or holding a gun or something.

I have to go. Thanks for lunch.

You going to eat that potato?

Al Gore shares his prize with the Intergovernmental Panel on Climate Change. I don't know who is going to be there representing them, but I can't imagine this being a lot of fun for them. Then, again, given that both parties are pro-environment and meeting the worst president in the history of the United States who puts blood and money before clean air and water, maybe they can gang up on him a bit.

Everyone thinks Gore will be prickly to Bush over the election, but there's a lot more to be prickly about. Al Gore was one of the most active vice-presidents in history (minus a bunker in an undisclosed location). Bill Clinton used him well in trimming a lot of fat in government spending and in beefing up the powers of the EPA. Together, they reduced the deficit to an all time low. Bush has squandered all that and pushed the deficit to a record-breaking high while getting us into a war that will cost America, as of now, three trillion dollars. He could very well bankrupt this country. If Al hasn't picked out a spot yet to display his Peace Prize, I think a lovely place would be up GW's arse.


On Friday, I asked...

"A man in Michigan shot his neighbor's pregnant cow because it looked like what?"

57% said "A polar bear."
- Ah, but that would be too logical.

28% said "His mother-in-law."
- Boo-yah! My first mother-in-law joke! I am on fire, folks!

No one thought is was "A bunny." Sniff.

15% got the correct answer, "A coyote."

According to the Associated Press, in Colfax, Michigan, a man says he shot and killed a neighbor's cow after mistaking it for a coyote. Authorities and the owner are skeptical. Undersheriff Rory Heckman said the man then tried to drag the cow home. Not sure if he still thought it was a coyote while he was trying to drag 1,400 pounds of dead meat. I'm thinking he had a year's supply of coyote burgers - and steak, and ribs - on his mind.

1 comment:

Old Ned said...

Now that you're getting married you can be forgiven for doing mother-in-law jokes. I wonder who the first recipient of the GEORGE W. BUSH NOBLER PEACE PRIZE WILL BE?

My nominee: Donald Rumsfeld