Tuesday, November 6, 2007

Word of the Day

((Well, the main word is "sucks" as in Comcast and the CTA both suck mightily. I am posting late because I woke up at my usual time to no Internet service. Both Internet and cable are provided by Comcast. The cable works fine, but no access to the ol' Internet tubes for me. So, I left early to go to Columbia College and work on the blog before my class. I waited 20 minutes for the an over packed Fullerton bus. Got off at The Redline stop and the Brownline and Purple line were down. Everyone was told to take the Redline which was operating "normally." The first train showed up and it was packed. ONE person got off and about 20 surged toward the door trying to get on. One woman manged to squeeze herself in, and much to my delight, the doors closed around her purse. I managed to get on the next crowded train and stood wedged in the middle of a group a people, my fingertips holding on to a rail, and me trying not to breath on anyone's face or neck. The guy next to me had his iPod blaring playing, I kid you not, "It's A Small World" which is now firmly ensconced in my head. But I am here, I am alive and I am happy to be talking to you.))


WORD OF THE DAY

Our president, Governor George W. Bush, is known for making up words whenever he's on the spot and off script. As a solution to this, Mr. Bush is trying diligently to increase his vocabulary with real words. He even has one of those "Word of the Day" calendars on his desk in the oval office. Unfortunately, the calendar is not from any of our well-respected dictionary publishers, but from George's own set of advisers.

For example, here's today's entry...

Word of the Day

November, 6, 2007

"torture" (noun)

pronounced "torchur"

1. A really nasty thing only evil countries that don't do business with us do.

2. Physical duress applied to another person that causes that person to experience permanent and irreparable physical damage.

Use it in a sentence: "The U.S. does not use torture."



The real definition, courtesy of Merriam-Webster:

1 a: anguish of body or mind : agony b: something that causes agony or pain
2: the infliction of intense pain (as from burning, crushing, or wounding) to punish, coerce, or afford sadistic pleasure


Mr. Bush needs a new dictionary. One made by scholars, not politicians. Waterboarding is not an "extensive interrogation technique." It is torture. It simulates drowning. A person is immobilized and water is poured over their nose and mouth, which is covered by a cloth. It creates anguish and fear. It could lead to a heart attack and, most importantly, false information supplied by the prisoner who just wants you to fucking stop and will tell you anything he or she thinks you want to hear.

Unless congress gets the balls to take back our country, this is going to be a very long and, literally, painful year.



THE BS NEWS QUIZ OF THE DAY

Yesterday, I asked...

"According to Spanish
researchers, dehydrated athletes should drink what instead of water?"


25% did "Mountain Dew"
- Mmmm, green, carbonated, sugary caffeine goodness. Chug it down and watch it come back out looking like it did going in.

25% picked "Mole Sauce"
- Mole sauce is wonderful. But not after a race. Try it on Quorn, instead.

16% chose "Coffee"
- I think I just made an executive from Starbucks wet his or her pants with this possibility.

34% grabbed for the gusto with "Beer"

According to The Daily Mail, Professor Manuel Garzon, of Granada's medical faculty, made his discovery after tests on 25 students over several months. They were asked to run on a treadmill under stifling temperatures of 40C (104F) until they were close to exhaustion. Half were then given two half pints of Spanish lager to drink, while the rest were given water. Professor Garzon said the rehydration effect in the students who were given beer was "slightly better" than among those given only water. He also noted that all the beer-drinking athletes found the water-drinking athletes to be more attractive in their running shorts, but not vice-versa.

5 comments:

wafelenbak said...

I called ComCrap because since Sunday, my internet service sputters for the first couple hours of the morning, and then magically begins to work about 9 or 10am. They are sending a tech out on Thursday which should be hilarious. Uhm, my internet operates like an old car. Perhaps they could give me a new modem AND a new car for my troubles, esp since I work from home?

kilax said...

Bleh. Sounds like a crappy morning in Chicago. And I'm sure this windier than hell weather didn't help!

ComCrap, wafelenbak? Ha ha. Only you would come up with that! ;)

Joe Janes said...

I will now, and forever, call it ComCrap. Now, please come up with something to call those douchebags at the CTA.

Dennis said...

If it's any consolation, I find that I get more hits when I post midday.

Pete Best said...

My Comcast goes down a lot here in Portland. I find that it can usually be fixed by doing a re-set, i.e., unplugging the modem AC plug from the wall for a minute.

Let me know if that helps. Your case number is 55890249994--24880929JKK939owpw99994738KDFJW*88888900kdsks453628-1.