Tuesday, May 6, 2008

North Carolina and Indiana

Today is another primary in this Democratic presidential nomination process that started way too early and is going on way too long. My hope is for a decisive victory for Obama. Otherwise, we're in for more Clinton throwing every shiny object she can at the American voters to distract them from the issues. Really, American flag lapel pins? Rev. Wright? I haven't gone to church regularly since I was a kid. My minister, the Reverend Tiffany (sounds like a kinky drag queen name, now that I think of it), said things about woman being born of man's rib and dodged a question I had about dinosaurs. Please don't judge me by his words. Clinton's latest bauble is her summer gas tax relief. Ummm...how does taking eighteen cents off each gallon help? And if it does get people to the pumps, won't it just drive up the cost making even higher when the gas tax is reinstated? Doesn't matter, really. She won't be able to swing a summer gas tax relief. She just wants you to know that she "gets it." But she wants you to believe she can so you vote for her right now. I'm hoping she comes in second and breaks her ankles after crossing the finish line. If she doesn't, then someone please euthanize me.


THE BS NEWS QUIZ OF THE DAY


Yesterday, I asked...

"Bill Bramanti of South Chicago Heights, IL will be going in style. He bought a custom-designed casket shaped like a what?"


62% said "Race Car"
- Doesn't make much sense. Why be in such a hurry?

No one said "Fire Cracker" or "Proctor-Silex Food Chopper"
38% got it right with "Beer Can"

According to The Associated Press, Bill Bramanti will love Pabst Blue Ribbon eternally, and he's got the custom-made beer-can casket to prove it. "I actually fit, because I got in here," said Bramanti of South Chicago Heights. He threw a party Saturday for friends and filled his silver coffin — designed in Pabst's colors of red, white and blue — with ice and his favorite brew. Bramanti ordered the casket from Panozzo Bros. Funeral Home in Chicago Heights, and Scott Sign Co. of Chicago Heights designed the beer can.



Dude's got the name of his construction company on the side, too! There's good advertising. Gotta love a construction worker who loves to drink. I wonder if he plans on being buried in it, or just crumpled up and chucked alongside the road.

I love the concept here. It's not very green, but it's fun. And I do believe FUNerals should be fun. And I love that he's already using it. I guess PBR is appropriate because of how much it already tastes like formaldehyde. Me? Make my coffin look like a Tofurky box.Don't forget the gravy.

1 comment:

Nat Topping said...

18 cents per gallon * 15 gallon tank = $2.70 per visit to the pump. You would have to be insane to qualify that as serious help for a struggling driver. And that would be assuming that the gas companies actually lower the prices to reflect the "holiday" which, given that the prices are driven by demand and the fact that they're businesses, isn't very likely.

It makes me angry that people fall for this kind of ridiculous empty gesture all the time.

Although, $2.70 is about two and a half candy bars....