Friday, October 24, 2008

Sneaky

There are two search words that seem to bring people to this site more than any other. They are "labia" and "Viagra." Not just the word "labia," mind you, the phrase "nice labia."

These search words will bring unsuspecting surfers to "Hey, Nice Labia!" (a commentary about the plastic surgery procedure "vaginal rejuvenation") and "The Semi-Hard Truth About Viagra" (a sketch I wrote for a biology class. I got an "A," thank you.) Hey, whatever gets you here or gets you off, doesn't matter to me. Sometimes they even stick around to read what I wrote. Almost always they click of the "anal bleaching" link in the labia article.

What I never expected was someone planting an ad in the comment section of the Viagra sketch.

2 comments:

Shain A said...

What makes you a REAL man? This is a question of manhood. For men, they have to be able and willing to perform all night long. I love to be intimate with my partner as long as I want but what about when I’m tired or had a rough day at work. http://www.besthealthmed.com/viagra_ed.html

Joe Janes said...

Your claim that it takes having an erection (if it lasts over four hours, see a doctor) and being able to do it "all night long" to make one a real man is pure bullshit. If that were true, and it takes a pill to fulfill the illusion of manhood, than I say that makes you even less of a man. There's only one reason to take viagra - you like having boners. Period. And you are too lazy to explore healthy alternatives.

However, I am leaving your post and link section up. While obviously pro-viagra over cialis, making one suspicious of who is behind "Best Health Med," and it peddles in the "real man" advertising baloney, it does state the side effects and doesn't appear to directly sell viagra. I suppose that comes when you sign up for the newsletter.

Pretty wild. DON'T click on his link, unless you really want the inside track on working up a pharma hard on. This guy probably makes money on the amount of traffic he generates. What's funny about the site is that it presents itself as a mens health web magazine in the UK. There's even a "Humour" section. That page is blank, by the way. Guys desperate to get their meat stick propped up probably don't have much of a sense of humor.

WEEK TWO OF MORAL FIXATIONS, LAST CHANCE TO SEE CHEDDAR MOON

Moral Fixations, the The Second City Training Center Writing 5 show I directed, has its second show tonight. Last week nearly sold out. If you plan on coming, I suggest you buy your ticket on-line, or show up an hour to half an hour early to buy your ticket at the Skybox box office.

The Best of the Tens, the show that features my ten-minute play, Cheddar Moon, closes this weekend. Last week was interesting. An actor in a two-person piece was running late. He almost literally ran in the door and onto the stage. The problem with only doing a show once a week, is that you usually have to run it beforehand or you risk blanking out and getting lost on stage. That's exactly what happened to these two guys. There's is one of the stronger pieces of the show and they managed to stay in character and also add about five uncomfortable minutes to the show while trying to find their way. I've got a feeling that won't happen to them again. Ever. The show is likely to sell out, so definitely buy your tickets on-line or early at the door (seriously, come an hour or two early, buy your ticket, go over to Old Town Ale House, have a beer, look at the naked painting of Sarah Palin, come back for the show).



THE BS NEWS QUIZ OF THE DAY


Yesterday, I asked...

"A gay NYPD lieutenant has been found guilty of sexual harassment. He blames his behavior on what?"


25% said "prescription medicine"
- Must have been on that website about Viagra.

26% said "a bad break-up"
- "It's not you, it's me. I really think we should harass other people."

16% said "mixed signals"
- He was really just trying to get them to relax when he took his pants off.

33% got it right with "jock itch"

According to The New York Daily News, a gay NYPD lieutenant has been found guilty of sexually harassing two male sergeants and creating a lewd, hostile work environment, the Daily News has learned.Lt. Kieran Crowe, 50, denied the allegations, and blamed his behavior on "jock itch."

Oh, but this is where it really gets good...

Sgts. Dominic Coppola and Sean Gallagher filed an internal complaint against Crowe in 2004, when all three men worked at the Office of Equal Employment Opportunity at Police Headquarters. They also sued the city and the NYPD in Manhattan Federal Court.

The sergeants said Crowe, a 23-year NYPD veteran, simulated masturbating and wiggled his tongue at them in a sexually suggestive manner in the 12th-floor office which, ironically, investigates harassment in the workplace.

Crowe's lawyers called as a witness a dermatologist, who said Crowe was treated for a body rash and jock itch between 2001 and 2004, records show.

Trial commissioner John Grappone rejected that argument. In a ruling issued over the summer, Grappone said no medical condition warrants "extensive staring at crotches, masturbation gestures, tongue gestures and sighing sounds."

Clearly, this trial commissioner has never had jock itch. The only thing that helps me is copious amounts of hand cream and drooling, I mean, surfing the website, Got MILF?.

2 comments:

Henri D said...

My-Agra! The pill that makes you a man. It gives you conservation of words, a glaring scowl, the ability to pull apart any weapon, regardless of make, in less than 60 seconds! Also, make you care about your kids, love wife more, and treat the babysitter with the respect she deserves, after all high school is rough enough! Side affects include tap dancing ability, martini drinking, and unfilter cigarette smoking. If underaged, see a doctor and get your parents permission, and you too could be a man, sooner than God intended!

Joe Janes said...

Hmm... You remind me of a fake commercial I did for You Don't Know Jack called "Man Juice."

http://www.gametrailers.com/player/usermovies/173355.html