Wednesday, December 3, 2008

I Believe...

...that satirists struggling with how to make fun of Barack Obama is a good problem to have. An even better problem is how Fox News on the right and MSNBC on the left deal with their approaches to news reporting. Admittedly, Keith Olbermann seems to have less punch and the sails seem to have gone out of Bill O'Reily's wind. But this, again, is a good thing. Bush is/was a polarizer. Now, I can find out about Britney and Madonna and not feel guilty about it.

...that the story of whirlwind romantic comedies makes for nice whirlwind romantic comedies. In life, I'll take a slow and steady relationship with many moments of mutual hoo-ha excitement any day.

...that after years of resisting, I am now a fan of Facebook. It's a great way to stay in touch with people and reconnect with people I haven't seen in years. Just, please don't poke me.

...that we need new euphemisms for masturbation. Submitted for your approval: tickling the turtle, strapping on the jet pack, logging on to blogger.

...that the current economic climate is going to make corporations rethink outrageous executive pay packages. The reason the big three automaker CEOs are talking about only working for a dollar this year is because it won't affect them a bit. They still have a ton of perks. And, if they end up canned, they will float on their multi-million dollar golden parachutes.


Yesterday, I asked...

"The Pentagon plans to deploy 20,000 uniformed troops by 2011 to where?"

22% said "Afghanistan"
- Someone has to protect those poppy fields!

Wishful thinkers ignored "Iraq" and "Iran"

78% got it right with "United States"

According to the The Washington Post, the U.S. military expects to have 20,000 uniformed troops inside the United States by 2011 trained to help state and local officials respond to a nuclear terrorist attack or other domestic catastrophe, according to Pentagon officials.

Many people are worried that an increase of military presence in our cities may lead to an expansion of the executive branch of government or will keep peace via an oppressive presence.

Sending in the boys in green is a typical knee-jerk American response for making us "safe." What we really need is to divert all the robots seeking careers as actors and get them stationed across the land.

I'd love to see this guy at all the Chicago El stops.


mark krause said...

how about, petting the peacock

Anonymous said...

In college a guy I knew referred to any sexual activity as doing laundry. Solo stuff was termed "doing a single load."

Joe Janes said...

I will never look at my Downey balls the same way, ever again.