Written by Joe Janes
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(Reggie and Lionel are pith-helmet-wearing British explorers tied to a stake. Cannibals Ram and Ant tend to them. Ram is feeding Lionel big spoonfuls of meat from a pot.)
LIONELI say, Reggie. I didn’t expect these cannibals to be feeding me so much.
REGGIEWhat is it they’re making you eat, Lionel?
LIONELSo far, I’ve had a Turkish explorer and a Dutch missionary.
REGGIEMust be trying to fatten you up.
ANTNo. We just got Food Network. Ram trying to make cannibal turducken. Or in this case, Turk-Dutch-man. (Ant and Ram high five)
REGGIEAnd what are you going to try to make with me? Rack of Reggie?
(Ant produces a large funnel with a long hose.)
(Ant shoves the hose into Reggie’s mouth and begins spooning corn into the funnel. Reggie struggles and makes “mouth full of hose” sounds. You know the kind.)
LIONELBuck up, Reggie. At least you’re going out a delicacy.