Friday, April 3, 2009

Week 11, Day 75 - “An American Mugging”

“An American Mugging”
Written by Joe Janes
4/3/09
75 of 365

CAST:
Harry
Chuck

(Lights up on two figures about to walk by one another late at night on an urban neighborhood sidewalk.)

HARRY & CHUCK
Give me all your money.

HARRY
Hey!

CHUCK
What the!

HARRY
Chuck?

CHUCK
Oh, my God. Harry! Well, blow me down.

HARRY
Crazy world, hunh? Been awhile. How’s Margaret?

CHUCK
She left.

HARRY
Oh, I’m sorry, man.

CHUCK
Eh, for the better. Took the kids with her. Working on putting together this month’s child support, as you can see. (They laugh) How about you? Still married to…?

HARRY
Cheryl. Yep. Yep. Still married.

CHUCK
Cheryl, right. She know you -?

HARRY
Oh, hell, no. She thinks I still have my job at the plant. This is me working the graveyard shift.

CHUCK
Wow. Been a long time.

HARRY
Who’d a thunk, eh?

CHUCK (taking out gun)
I’m still going to need your wallet.

HARRY (also taking out gun)
Same here.

(They slowly, professionally and courteously exchange wallets.)

CHUCK
You’ve been having a good night.

HARRY
I’ve had better. What’s with all the singles?

CHUCK
Mugged a stripper.

HARRY
Nice. You want the wallet back?

CHUCK
Keep it. Nothing important in it.

HARRY
Same here. It’s a rough neighborhood.

CHUCK
Seems to have gotten worse lately.

HARRY
The economy.

CHUCK
Tough times. No credit cards?

HARRY
Cut up my credit cards a long time ago.

CHUCK
Me, too. They’ll do nothing but get you in trouble.

HARRY
Amen to that, brother. Well, you have a good night.

CHUCK
You, too, Harry. Oh, which way are you heading?

HARRY
I was going to keep heading west. Some nightclubs over there about to make last call.

CHUCK
Cool. I’ll keep heading this way towards the train. Last thing I want to do is compete with a good buddy.

HARRY
Good thinking.

CHUCK
Give my love to Cheryl.

HARRY
Will do. See you, Chuck.

(Chuck turns to walk away. Harry begins to sneak up on him with his gun raised as if he were going to strike him. Chuck turns and he freezes.)

CHUCK
What the hell are you doing?

HARRY
Wow. Hey. I am so sorry.

CHUCK
Were you going to steal your money back? That is so uncool.

HARRY
I know, I know. (Frustrated with himself) Rrrrrrrr! It’s like once I get my mugging shoes on, hard to stop. Know what I mean?

CHUCK
Yeah. I guess. Forgive me if I don’t turn my back as you walk away.

HARRY
Fair enough. I deserved that.

(Harry starts to walk away, an awkward mix of walking backwards and turning until he is almost off stage.)

HARRY (continuing)
Hey, let me make it up to you. Why don’t you come cover to dinner on Sunday? Cheryl will love to see you.

CHUCK
I don’t know –

HARRY
Chicken pot pie.

CHUCK
My three favorite little words. See you Sunday.

(They both walk off. A moment later, Chuck sneaks back and exits the way Harry left. Blackout.)

4 comments:

idjar said...

But, what kind of guns were they using?

Chris Othic said...

Something about this one. I think it's one of my faves so far.

Joe Janes said...

Thanks, Chris.

Don - http://www.hk-usa.com/le_hk45_general.html - for the grip.

Paul said...

I love the idea that one of these guys cares enough about his craft to own something he calls "mugging shoes".

Great one, Joe.