Sunday, April 5, 2009

Week 11, Day 77 - “The Customer Is Always Right”

“The Customer Is Always Right”
Written by Joe Janes
4/5/09
77 of 365

CAST:
Well-Dressed Man
Waiter


(Lights up on a waiter taking an order from a customer.)


WAITER
Hi, welcome to—

WELL-DRESSED MAN
I know exactly what I want. I’ll have the Famous Chopped Salad.

WAITER (starting to walk away)
Very well---

WELL-DRESSED MAN
Hold the scallions, hold the bacon, no cheese, no chicken, and instead of dressing, I’ll just use a lemon wedge.

WAITER
Are you sure you---?

WELL-DRESSED MAN
Please. I am the customer. I know what I want.

WAITER
Very well.

(The waiter exits and returns with a head of lettuce. He sets it down in front of the customer. And then puts a lemon wedge next to it.)

WAITER
Can I bring you anything else?

(Blackout.)

3 comments:

idjar said...

Have it your way.

GW said...

I like the visual, but if it were a chopped salad, wouldn't the head of lettuce be chopped?

Maybe this one is over my PEA-brained LETTUCE head! Or maybe I'm just a total VEGETABLE! My mind just cannot PRODUCE the solution! HOMINY veggie references can R-YOU-TABAGA find in this PARSNIP-agraph?

Produce humor, y'all!

Joe Janes said...

I'll add "and he karate chops it." Done!