Tuesday, May 26, 2009

Week 19, Day 128 - "Book Club"

TWO PLUGS: This weekend is your last chance to see "Throwing Heat" - info is to your left. Also, check out Mac n Cheese Dinner Parties. I went to a party a few weeks ago and had a great time. It was an awesome opportunity to meet people outside my usual circles.


“Book Club”

Written by Joe Janes
5/26/09
128 of 365

CAST
Dina, 30s
Carly, 30s
Kim, 30s
Dave, 30s
Marty, 30s
Boon, 30s

(Lights up on Dina and Carly seated on a couch. In the background, Dave and Marty are chatting. Carly is noticeably pregnant. Dina is nervous.)

CARLY
Did you read the book?

DINA
I did. I’m not sure what to make of it.

CARLY
Oprah liked it.

DINA
Good enough for me. Nathan took me out to dinner last night to Charlie Trotters.

CARLY
Pretty fancy for a Thursday. What was the occasion?

(Dina holds up her hand and shows Carly her new engagement ring. Carly squeals.)

DINA
Shhh – Shhh – I want to break the news to the whole group when everyone gets here. But I just had to tell you first.

CARLY
I am so happy for you. Nathan is such a great guy. I wish I had been that lucky.

DINA
Wha-?

MARTY
Hey, let’s get this literary shindig rocking, Boon.

(Marty and Dave head over to the sofa and chairs. Boon and Kim enter. Kim carries a bottle of wine.)

KIM (a little tipsy)
Does anybody need more wine?

CARLY
I could use some.

(Kim pours Carly a little as she gets a look from Dina.)

CARLY (continuing)
What? It’s red wine. It’s good for the baby.

(Marty rolls his eyes.)

BOON
Hey, everybody, before we get started, Kim and I have something we want to say.

KIM
You guys are our best friends in the whole world and we always want it to be that way. We love the Friday book club. We love you guys.

BOON
What Kim is trying to say is that we’re going to get a divorce.

(General reactions of “what!?!”)

KIM
It’s okay. It’s okay. We still like each other.

BOON
We just realized that we were more just friends or roommates instead of what we thought a married couple should be.

DAVE
Will we still do Book Club?

KIM
Oh, hell yes. We don’t want anything to change. It will all still be the same, except that Boon and I won’t be hitched. And we can even still have it here. I’m keeping the house.

BOON
She’s keeping the house.

KIM
But it doesn’t change a goddam thing. Book Club forever! Let’s get started. Who read “Cassandra’s New Lover”?

(Everyone looks at each other uncomfortably.)

MARTY
I like how you guys are handling this. You seem pretty okay with it.

KIM
We are.

BOON
Oh, yes. Definitely. We still want to be close friends. Just not married.

MARTY
Well, as a guy who’s been through two divorces already, let me know if you need any guidance.

CARLY
Yeah. Marty’s got a rewards card from the courthouse. Soon he’ll get discounts on alimony.

MARTY
Dave and Dina, you two are so lucky to be single.

DAVE
I wouldn’t mind being married.

DINA
Actually, I-

CARLY
Honey, we should tell them.

MARTY
Really? Now?

CARLY
Yes. Now.

MARTY
Carly and I are splitting up.

(Slightly more intense reactions of “what!?!”)

CARLY
I thought the baby would change things, but Marty’s still a self-absorbed ass that doesn’t know how to communicate.

MARTY
Guilty as charged. And Carly still has the mood swings of an oscillating lawn sprinkler. And, boy, if the pregnancy doesn’t just point up that fact. It’s really been a pleasure.

DAVE
You’re separating. Not divorcing? So, you might get back together.

DINA
Well, that’s good. You’re giving yourself some distance to work things out.

MARTY
That’s the idea, but you know, whatever (He trails off mumbling.)

CARLY
Marty bought a condo across the street so he can be close by to help raise little Ignatius.

DINA
Ignatius?

MARTY
Yep. That’s another reason.

CARLY
But we’re going to be civil and we don’t want this in anyway to disrupt the Friday night Book Club. So, “Cassandra’s New Lover.” I liked it. I wasn’t crazy about the estranged brother character-

DINA
Oh, me, neither. What was the point?

KIM
Holy fucking shit look at that rock!

BOON
Wow!

DAVE
You’re engaged, Dina?

DINA
Yep, Nathan got down on his knees last night.

CARLY
That ring is humongous.

DINA
It’s from Jared’s.

MARTY
So, Nathan got down on his knees twice.

KIM
Well, this is a celebration!

BOON
You and Nathan are going to be so happy together.

DINA
You think?

(General “Oh, yeas” and “sures” except from Dave. Silence.)

DINA (continuing)
Thanks.

DAVE
What is wrong with you people? Everyone I know is getting a divorce. Here, at work, in my family. They’re either getting a divorce or they’re pregnant, and that’s not going so well, either. I’ve been single my entire adult life and not for lack of trying. I’ve been engaged once, engaged-to-be-engaged twice. I don’t know what I’m doing wrong, but I can’t even get in to this marriage club that you guys are
shitting all over. I like the idea of being committed to one person my whole life and sticking with them when things get rough, through thick and thin, till death do us part.

DINA
I want that, Dave. I want that for Nathan and me.

DAVE
Then I highly recommend you stop hanging out with these pillars of wedded bliss.

BOON
Dave. You’re a single guy. Why do you even hang out with married people at a book club on a Friday night?

MARTY
Moot point. If he stands there long enough, we’ll all be single, again.

DAVE
I had a crush on Dina. Sorry, I should have told you, but you were always seeing someone or I was. We never seemed to both be available at the same time.

DINA
I love Nathan.

MARTY (to Dave)
Give it a year.

(Blackout.)

5 comments:

Don Hall said...

Dead. On.

GarinT said...

What Don said. Even if my 23 year old ass don't know squat yet.

Chris Othic said...

Wow, this is a little brutal. Time for some therapy, Mr. Janes.

As a scene, I like it though. There is certainly a kernel of truth.

Once again--"Ignatius?" Really? Way to jokey (for my taste). Maybe something more believable but bad like "Waylon" or "Maddox" or "McConnaghay."

My Captcha phrase is "chries." What Chris does when people don't listen to his feedback.

Joe Janes said...

Just working things out.

You would think Ignatius was jokey, but I know of a couple having a kid and that's the name.

Can I get a witness?

Don Hall said...

My boss just had a kid. His name is Ignatius. They call him Iggy. No shit.