Written by Joe Janes
204 of 365
(Lights up on Matt and Ed at their orange stand at a fair.)
EDOranges! Get your oranges here!
MATTNice big, round ripe oranges.
EDPeel ‘em and eat ‘em!
MATTPeel ‘em and eat ‘em!
(Brad crosses by and looks back at the oranges.)
MATTHealthy, full of vitamin C, low in calories-
BRADGee, I don’t know. (He looks at it quizzically) How do I-?
EDPeel ‘em and eat ‘em.
MATTJust peel ‘em and eat ‘em.
BRADSeem a bit labor intensive.
BRADRefreshing, you say? Well. Okay.
(Brad takes out his wallet. Brian and Mike quickly set up a table nearby. On the table, is a round brown blob.)
BRADOoh, they have oranges, too.
MIKEDipped in chocolate.
BRADI heard chocolate is really good for you.
BRIANWrapped in bacon.
BRADBacon is a good source of protein.
EDHere’s your orange, sir.
MATTJust one dollar.
MIKEDid I mention deep-fried? Our orange is dipped in chocolate, wrapped in bacon and deep-fried in a crispy, yellow batter.
BRIANMade out of corn and Twinkies.
MIKE AND BRIANIt comes on a stick!
(Mike stabs the blob with a wooden stick and they pick it up, Brian gesturing around it with his hands.)
(Brad walks over and grabs the thing on a stick. Brad starts eating it with great relish.)
MIKEFive dollars, sir.
BRADTake my whole wallet.
(He hands him his wallet as he continues to eat the thing on a stick.)
MATT (holding out an orange)This orange is only a dollar.
BRADPlease, you can’t put a price on eating healthy. I must tell my friends, Tom and Tony. They could use something like this. They're so out of shape.
(Mike and Brian smugly count their money. Ed looks at the orange Matt is holding and stabs it with his pen.)
EDOrange on stick.
MATTOrange on a stick!
(Lights fade as the continue to hawk their orange on a stick as Brad continues to devour that fried thing.)