Tuesday, September 8, 2009

Week 34, Day 233 - “A Hit For Weddings or Funerals”

“A Hit For Weddings or Funerals”

Written by Joe Janes


233 of 365


DJ Bertram, 30s

Alisa, 29

(Lights up on DJ Bertram spinning “La Vida Loca” behind a set of turntables. He finishes up some high-energy track and grabs his mic.)


Hey, Class of 99! Are you ready to par-tay! (There is little or no response) Okay! Let’s funk it up and see if we can’t fill this dance floor! (Someone runs up and hands him a note) Before we funk it up, I have this announcement. (He reads the note)… A big list… Christopher Othic, whoo!… Nathanial Topping, yay!… Gregory Wendling, ho!… Michael Bauman, rocks…Joseph Janes, can I get a whoop-whoop!...Geoffrey Crump, Crumpy-crump!...Catherine Monahan, yes!...and (reading note closer) they have all passed away since graduation and we’d like to have a moment of silence…(He now has an awkward moment of silence as all the energy in the room is now completely gone.)…So, um, let’s get this party restarted with (hits switch and music starts playing) another hit from 1999, Smash Mouth’s "All Star"...Enough dead talk, because those guys are all all stars in heaven, or wherever, probably, am I right? Yep! Let’s dance!

(Lights fade as DJ Bertram dances it off.)


GarinT said...

Good pacing for such a quick payoff. Way to keep it tacky.

Aly said...

Is Alisa dead as well?

Chris Othic said...

Woa, all dead. I assume it was a boiler explosion at my apartment.

Joe Janes said...


Alisa - That "someone" who gives the DJ the note is Alisa. President of the senior class - 1999. Now, married with six children and living in a trailer.

Chris - I'd like to think we got torn apart by wild dogs, also in your apartment.

Aly said...

Wow. Is that true? There are a lot of trailers in Ohio, but six kids is a lot for one trailer. Hope it's a double wide.

mark krause said...

poor Joe he was a fine "old man",they were probably getting ready to do the electric slide,what a bummer