Friday, October 16, 2009

Week 39, Day 271 - “Slow Down Life’s Too Short Stop Smell The Roses Get While The Getting’s Good Bar and Grill”

“Slow Down Life’s Too Short Stop Smell The Roses Get While The Getting’s Good Bar and Grill”

Written by Joe Janes

10/16/09

271 of 365

CAST

Noah, 30s

Dacry, 30s

Bruno, 50s

Jose, 40s

(Lights up on Darcy and Patrick sitting at a table looking at menus.)

NOAH

This lace looks exactly like it did ten years ago.

DARCY

It does. Same junkyard stuff on the wall.

NOAH

Guess they couldn’t afford any new junk.

(Bruno enters. He is an older man, a little overweight and a little high-strung.)

BRUNO

Hi, folks. I’m Bruno. Welcome to Slow Down Life’s Too Short Stop Smell the Roses Get It While The Gettin’s Good Bar and Grill. What would you like?

NOAH

I’m not really sure.

DARCY

Hey, you own the place, don’t you?

BRUNO

I do. This is my place.

DARCY

He waited on us on our first date.

NOAH

Oh, yeah.

BRUNO

Well…. Isn’t that something? What can I get you?

NOAH

UH, I’ll have a Miller Lite.

DARCY

Me, too. And let’s order some buffalo wings.

BRUNO

Ooh, uh… Let me check on those. (Bruno walks to the kitchen door and yells inside.) Jose! Jose! Look in the back of the freezer and see if we have an old bag of Buffalo wings! Look behind the suet! Move the suet and look behind it.

DARCY

That’s okay. That’s okay.

BRUNO

It’s no problem. Jose will find it. I’ll go heat up the fryer and get your beers. (He exits.)

DARCY

I don’t think they’re doing very well.

NOAH

Doesn’t seem like it. Want to leave.

DARCY

I’d feel horrible if we just left.

NOAH

Well, let’s just get our beers and antique chicken wings and we’ll go get dinner somewhere else.

(Bruno enters and puts down two cans of beer on the table.)

DARCY

Could I have a glass?

BRUNO

Classy. (Bruno walks to another table and picks up an empty glass and inspects it. He wipes it on his shirt and drops it off in front of Darcy.)

NOAH

I think we ordered Miller Lite.

BRUNO

Oh, yeah. I’m sorry. We’re all out. All we have is Milwaukee’s Best.

DARCY

I’ve never had a Milwaukee’s Best.

BRUNO

It’s good. You know, it’s Milwaukee’s Best. I’ll go check on your chicken wings. (Bruno nods and exits. Darcy opens her can and takes a sip.)

DARCY

Ooh, oh. It tastes tinny.

NOAH

Don’t drink it.

DARCY (looks at can)

Is there an expiration date?

(Noah looks at his can.)

NOAH

No, Just an ad commemorating the Olympics being in Atlanta.

(Bruno enters with the wings and sets them on the table.)

BRUNO

I’m afraid we’re out of hot sauce, so I dumped some ketchup on them.

NOAH

Oh.

DARCY

Do you have any other beer?

BRUNO

Not a fan of the Best?

DARCY

Guess I’m not a connoisseur.

(Bruno looks like he’s about to cry. He looks up, takes a deep breath.)

BRUNO

What kind of beer would you like?

DARCY

What do you have?

BRUNO

Whatever you like?

DARCY

I thought you were out of Miller Lite.

BRUNO

You want Miller Lite. I’ll get you Miller Lite. You, too?

NOAH

Sure.

BRUNO

Jose! (He walks over to the kitchen door. Jose sticks his head out.) Jose, go to the liquor store and pick up a six-pack of Miller Lite. (Jose holds out his hand. Bruno sighs and pulls out his wallet and hands Jose some dollar bills and whatever change he has in his pocket. Jose exits.) And I expect change. (He turns to Noah and Darcy.) Two Miller Lites. Coming right up. (He looks like he’s going to cry again and exits.)

DARCY

This isn’t turning out to be as much fun as I thought it would be.

NOAH

I know. What happened to this place? It used to be so much fun.

(Darcy picks at the wings.)

DARCY

This doesn’t look too bad.

(Noah takes a bite of one and spits it back out.)

NOAH

Except for being drowned in ketchup and frozen in the middle, they’re great.

DARCY

Let’s just leave.

NOAH

Right on.

(They get up and move towards the door. Bruno enters.)

BRUNO

Where you going?

NOAH

We just remembered we told the babysitter we’d be home by 9pm.

BRUNO

It’s only 7:30pm.

DARCY

We live very far away.

(Bruno sits down, looking defeated.)

NOAH

The wings are good.

BRUNO

You want them to go?

NOAH AND DARCY

No!

DARCY

Thank you.

NOAH

We just don’t think they’d keep. Such a long drive, you know.

BRUNO

Sure.

NOAH

Here, let me pay for them. And the beer. How much do I owe you?

BRUNO

Aw, forget it.

NOAH

No, really. I want to pay. It’s only fair.

BRUNO

Fifty bucks.

NOAH

That’s a bit much, don’t you think?

BRUNO

It’s what I need to get the gas turned back on.

NOAH

Oh. (He looks at Darcy. She shrugs.) Sure. Fifty bucks. (Noah gets it out of his wallet.) My name’s Noah. This is my wife, Darcy. We met here. Ten summers ago. At that jukebox.

DARCY

I was here with my sister. Not even looking to meet anyone.

NOAH

I saw her and immediately went to the jukebox and played “Long Cool Woman in A Black Dress” by The Hollies. Then I went over to her and told her I played the song for her. Listen, you have to understand, I never did anything so cliché or potentially creepy before. Way too shy. But I saw this woman and knew I had to meet her no matter how awkward and fumbly it was going to be.

DARCY

And it was very awkward and fumbly. And also made no sense, since I wasn’t wearing black dress. And neither of us works for the FBI.

(Bruno looks confused.)

NOAH

It’s a lyric in that song.

DARCY

And it worked. We fell in love. Here. At your place.

BRUNO

Things were different then. We were kicking ass and making money hand over fist.

DARCY

What happened, Bruno?

BRUNO

Wish I knew. It just slowed down. And stopped. I can’t tell you why. It’s still me. It’s still Jose. I’ve had to let most of my staff go. I don’t even pay Jose. It just stopped.

NOAH

Here’s fifty. And thanks. If you never created this place, I never would have met this woman. I owe you more.

BRUNO

I’ll take it.

NOAH

Uh-

BRUNO

Just kidding. Unless you meant it. (Pause) Just kidding, again. Unless-?

DARCY

We really need to go.

BRUNO (getting up)

Okay, folks. I’m glad some good came out of this place. Guess it’s time to just say good-bye and move on.

NOAH

What will you do?

BRUNO

No clue. Life’s too short to stick around here, though. Right?

NOAH

Right.

(They exit. Bruno sits back down. Jose comes back in with a six-pack. He sits down next to Bruno. He hands Bruno a beer and takes one himself. They clink bottles and sip.)

BRUNO

Where’s my goddamn change?

(Blackout)

1 comment:

Aly said...

Sad, but I like this one a lot.