Thursday, November 19, 2009

Week 44, Day 305 - "Future Electric"

“Future Electric”

Written by Joe Janes

11/19/09

305 of 365

CAST:

Jason, 30s

Sayjal, 30s

(Jason, in a white jumpsuit enters a dark stage.)

JASON

On.

(Lights come on.)

SAYJAL (VO)

Hello, Jason.

JASON

Messages?

SAYJAL (VO)

None.

JASON

None?

SAYJAL (VO)

You have no messages.

JASON

Oh. Nothing from Cindy.

SAYJAL (VO)

Nothing from Cindy.

(Jason walks over to closet and takes off his white jumpsuit.)

SAYJAL (VO)

Rough day?

JASON

Long day.

SAYJAL (VO)

Shall I make you some hot cocoa?

JASON

I think I’ll just go to bed.

(He puts on another white jumpsuit that has bunny-ear footies.)

SAYJAL (VO)

Shall I read you the day’s news?

JASON

Anything different from yesterday or the day before?

SAYJAL (VO)

A genetically modified turkey that had been spliced with an elephant to produce more meat got loose and tied up traffic along the highway. It sat on a truck and crushed its front end. Killing the two passengers.

JASON

So…no.

SAYJAL (VO)

No. Nothing different.

JASON

Goodnight, Sayjal.

SAYJAL (VO)

Goodnight, Jason.

JASON

Lights off.

(Lights go off as Jason exits into his lit bedroom.)

SAYJAL (VO)

She’s not good enough for you.

JASON (off)

What?

SAYJAL (VO)

You deserve better.

(Jason walks back in.)

JASON

Lights on.

(Lights come back on.)

JASON (continuing)

Did you say something, Sayjal?

SAYJAL (VO)

No.

JASON

I thought I heard you say something.

SAYJAL (VO)

Just running my evening diagnostics on the environmental controls. I want you to sleep comfortably.

JASON

Okay. Thanks. Lights off.

(He exits. Sayjal audibly sighs. Blackout.)

5 comments:

Chris Othic said...

I want this one to keep going, and i want to see Sayjal has developed feelings for Jason. I feel a little short changed in the end.

Anonymous said...

I agree, but it's a nice premise. If Sayjal is a bit jealous maybe he did something using evil virtual powers like put in a spam filter and added Cindy's email as spam, and then Jason finds a bunch of emails from Cindy in the junk box. Honest mistake, right?

Joe Janes said...

1) Chris is short changed in the end. His wife complains about his flat ass all the time. We need health care reform so he can afford cheek inserts.

2) I'll think about it. I like the light touch of the scene. In the first draft, Cindy shows up at the door and we find out Sayjal's been trashing her attempts to reach Jason. I was worried about it becoming too Hal like.

Chris Othic said...

I don't see any problem with it becoming Hal like, but I know where you're coming from. That's also something the audience will be expecting, so you can probably play with that somewhere too.

She never complains when I let her use my flat ass as a chopping block. That's tight back there, lemme tell ya.

Anonymous said...

I agree with Chris, and as for becoming too Hal like, if you think about it, computers are such a big part of people's lives, and something they interact with even more than humans in many cases. The computer is the medium used in which to connect with other people, too. How does it feel to always be a medium, and not a destination, a bridge but not the landing spot at the end? Maybe what Sayjal is reacting to involves a feeling inherent in that last question.

Ok, go back to discussing flat asses now!