Written by Joe Janes
11/26/09
312 of 365
CAST:
Miles, 30s
Hester, 30s
Massas, 30s
Shenandoah, 30s
(Lights up on Hester and Miles, pilgrims, standing with Massas and Shenandoah. They are all holding hands in prayer around a table full of food.)
MILES
Our heavenly father, we thank ye for the food of plenty we are about to partake in. We celebrate your many gifts to us. And thank you for our new Wampanoag Indian friends Massas and Shenandoah, who have helped us harvest the land. We hope to live in peace with them for many years to come. Amen.
HESTER
Amen.
MASSAS AND SHENANDOAH
…Amen.
MILES
Please, my friends sit. We appreciate all the meats and vegetables you provided us. Hester and I were more than happy to take them and make them into wonderful dishes to share with you.
HESTER (serving them)
I made this from the sweet potatoes you gave us.
MASSAS
Smells wonderful.
SHENANDOAH
Thank you.
(They both ample the dish and quickly go from delight to horror. They spit the food out.)
MASSAS
I am so sorry.
SHENANDOAH
There was some strong sweet taste beyond the potatoes.
MILES
Those were the marshmallows.
MASSAS
Marshmallows?
HESTER
It’s candy. There’s also maple syrup in there.
SHENANDOAH
You took something sweet and made it sweeter.
HESTHER
All the pilgrims are doing it, right Miles?
MILES
I think our taste buds might be a little more sophisticated than our savage friends.
MASSAS (to Shenandoah)
We’ve got to get rid of these assholes.
MILES
If you don’t like the potatoes, you’ll probably like the meat. We took a turkey and stuffed it with deer meat and chicken and deep-fried it in a very salty fat.
HESTER
We call it turdeerken.
SHENANDOAH (to Miles)
We attack at dawn.
(Blackout.)
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