Written by Joe Janes
43 of 365
(Lights up on Marta and Vernon sitting at a card table working on a large jigsaw puzzle. Chip enters looking a little sweaty from yard work.)
CHIPHey, Mr. and Mrs. Moosemiller.
VERNON (looking out window)Good job, Chip. Way to bang it out.
MARTAI’m so glad you were able to fit us in on your break from school.
CHIPOh, no problem. Can always use the extra money.
VERNON (slyly slipping Chip twenty dollars)C’mon in and take a load off.
MARTAI’ll go get some lemonade.
CHIPI don’t want to impose.
VERNONOh, nonsense. Even a strapping young man like you needs to put his feet up once in awhile. How’s school? How’s the girls? Getting any poon-tang? (He winks.)
CHIPOh, Mr. Moosemiller, you’re embarrassing me.
VERNONGet it while you can, Chip. Get it while you can.
MARTA (entering with tray)Oh, stop bothering the boy, Vernon.
CHIPIt’s okay, Mrs. Moosemiller.
VERNONJust busting the boy’s chops a bit, Marta.
(Marta pours Chip some lemonade.)
MARTAYou must be spending all your time with your girlfriends, a handsome young man like you. Very sweet of you to spend some time with two old fogies.
CHIPI don’t mind at all. You two are like grandparents to me,
MARTAIsn’t that sweet, Vernon?
VERNONHey, Chip. Why don’t you stick around and join us for dinner? Marta’s banging out her famous scalloped potatoes.
CHIPThat’s what I smell. (Sips some lemonade) This tastes funny.
MARTAProbably the whiskey.
VERNONYou’re a big boy, now.
MARTAPuts hair on your chest.
VERNONMarta should know.
(They laugh. Chip shrugs and keeps sipping.)
MARTAOh, and after dinner you can help us with our new puzzle.
VERNONOh, it’s a doozy. Over a thousand pieces.
MARTAIt’s historical. A palace from the Roman Empire.
VERNON (referring to the box lid)Yep. Caligula.
(Chip looks at the puzzle.)
CHIPIt looks like –
MARTAIt is! A roman orgy.
CHIPIs that a horse? On top of a woman?
MARTAIt is. I’m still missing a piece, though.
(Chip picks up a piece. He holds it with a little disgust.)
CHIPHere it is.
VERNONGood eye, Son. We’ll have this banged out in no time!
(Marta puts the piece in place. Lights out.)