Wednesday, May 6, 2009

Week 16, Day 108 - "Brace Beer"

“Brace Beer”
Written by Joe Janes
5/6/09
108 of 365

CAST:
PHIL
NANCY
BARTENDER
ANNOUNCER

(Lights up on Phil talking to Nancy sitting at a bar. They are looking friendly towards one another.)

PHIL
Wow, Nancy, I can’t believe this bar lets you have all the barbeque chicken wings you can eat. I must have eaten a whole chicken’s worth of chicken wings.

NANCY
Phil, I love a man who loves chicken wings.

PHIL
The only thing I love better is beer. Bartender? Two more over here.

NANCY
Phil, I love a man who loves beer.

BARTENDER
Two beers.

(They raise their beer bottles. Phil takes a sip and vomits.)

PHIL
Oh…oh…I’m so sorry. I guess I had too much of…everything.

NANCY
You disgust me, Phil.

ANNOUNCER
Don’t let failing to keep your beer down ever keep you from getting down. Next time, Phil, try Brace Beer.

PHIL
Brace Beer?

ANNOUNCER
Try it.

PHIL
I don’t think so, I just –

ANNOUNCER
Try it!

PHIL(gulp)
Ah, oogh, um, hey. It tastes pepperminty.

ANNOUNCER
Brace Beer soothes your stomach.

PHIL
Will Brace Beer keep me from – (vomits)

ANNOUNCER
Nope. But watch-

NANCY
Hey, who threw up…aw, little tiny roses.

PHIL
I did.

NANCY
That is so romantic. Come here, tiger, let’s have some more beer.

PHIL
Bartender, make it Brace Beer.

NANCY
Kiss me.

PHIL
But, I just-

(They kiss.)

NANCY
Mmmm. Like licking warm candy.

ANNOUNCER
Brace Beer – the party never has to stop, even when your body says it should. Anheiser-Boooooosh!

(Blackout)

4 comments:

idjar said...

I remember the days when vomiting would mean, "Hey, stop drinking you idiot!" But, then I learned to vomit in secret, take a short power nap (aka mini-coma), grab some gum, and press on, like a real man. The women I kissed afterward never knew.

Until now.

Nat Topping said...

I LOVE that he vomits tiny roses.

GarinT said...

Perhaps one more reference to the chicken wings? Phil seemed really into the wings. Unless wings make you vomit easier when you're drunk and I'm just too BOOSSH league to know that.

licking warm candy = perfect.

Henri D said...

this should have had a NOT DINNER APPROPRIATE warning, mmm slightly regurgitated chicken.

elati-n-state of being slightly elated.