Saturday at Sketchfest

Here are some picks for tonight...

6PM

SIBLINGS OF DOCTORS - North Theater - featuring Second City instructor and cool cat, Ranjit Souri and two other co-Indians. With Ranjit involved, there's a good chance this will be smart, funny and slightly askew.

7PM

GAYCO - North Theater - Chicago's first and perhaps only gay themed comedy group. AND they're funny. Even to straight people. Humorously funny, not queer funny.

8PM

CUPID PLAYERS - North Theater

APPROXIMATELY THREE PETERS - South Theater

BRAVE NEW WORKSHOP - West Theater

Toss a coin. All good. But if you haven't seen The Cupid Players' all musical revue of original songs, then do that.

9PM

PANGEA 3000 - North Theater

THE IMPONDERABLES - South Theater

PARTY CENTRAL USA - West Theater

I haven't seen any of these, but I would probably go see Pangea 3000, because they're supposed to all be writers for The Onion, and I'm a fan.

10PM

KERPATTY - South Theater

LAST CALL CLEVELAND - West Theater

Kerpatty's number one on my list followed by Last Call Cleveland.

11PM

STIR-FRIDAY NIGHT - South Theater

Asian-oriented, this Chicago group has been around about as long as GayCo, maybe longer. Their shows tend to be hit-or-miss, but if this is a "best of," it should rock.

So, Let Me Ask You, Too...

The past week in a half I have been talking to quite a few people about taking on a project that would greatly affect my life and this blog over the next year. So, it's only natural that I ask you to weigh in.

You may have heard of Suzan-Lori Parks and her "365 Days/365 Plays," performed by theater companies around the country in 2006-2007 and written in 2002-2003.

Well, the plan is to blatantly steal her idea and apply it to sketch comedy. I would write 365 sketches in one year starting Monday. The game plan, that is not at all set in stone, is that they would be produced next year, somehow, in a collaboration between Sketchfest and Chicago Improv Festival. But, like I said, that part is not set in stone. Still in early talks. There's no commitment or obligation on anyone's part. Regardless, I would try to find a vehicle for getting the sketches produced preferably by multiple comedy groups from around the world. The attraction of CIF and Sketchfest, is that it would all happen in some concentrated burst right here in Chicago.

But the question that bugs me, as it did with Suzan-Lori Parks, is "Why?" It's kind of a David Blaine stunt for a comedy writer. I don't care that you crapped out a play a day while hopping on one foot. What I care about, as an audience member, is being engaged and entertained. With 365 comedy sketches, they ain't all going to be gems. My hope, at the very least, is that they are all interesting.

There is certainly a challenge to me as a writer to produce so much material. I would need to tap into some deep creative rivers that I don't even know I have. That part interests me. I also worry that at the end of the year, I never want to write a comedy sketch ever again. I doubt that would happen, though. I love it too much.

It would affect this blog because that's pretty much all I would be writing for a year. And I would use this space to post a new scene every night to document the project. So, I do like the transparency of the project, too. You'd be on the journey with me, should you continue to check in during the year.

So, please let me know what you think. I have been teetering on the edge for over a week now and I need someone to either push me hard on the back or grab me by the belt.


FRIDAY SKETCHFEST PICKS

(I am performing with the Improvised Shakespeare Company at iO at 8pm, so, really, that's the show you should be seeing!)

8PM

COOL TABLE - North Theater

APPROXIMATELY THREE PETERS - South Theater

BRAVE NEW WORKSHOP - West Theater

I think you have a safe bet on any of the three options. Cool Table's been around about four years in Chicago and has some good folks involved. Approximately Three Peters is from Toronto where they are doing quite well. Brave New Workshop is from Minneapolis and has been around since 1958. They are that part of the country's answer to Second City. I would be likely to check out the Peters or BNW just because they're not from around these parts.

9PM

PANGEA 3000 - North Theater

THE IMPONDERABLES - South Theater

PARTY CENTRAL, USA - West Theater

I haven't seen any of these. I would lean towards Pangea 3000 because they claim to be comprised of writers and contributors to The Onion. The Imponderables is another Canadian import that looks to be on the same level at Three Peters. Party Central is from New York and would be my last resort only because their bio says "There will, however, be no references to poop, farts, robots or Hitler." In other words, they wouldn't want me to do 365 sketches because, baby, it's all going to be gaseous Robot Hitler scenes.

10PM

MERE FLUFF - South Theater

LAST CALL CLEVELAND - West Theater

Ruby Lake is in the north theater and I have absolutely no opinion on them. Mere Fluff features two very talented comedians. Last Call Cleveland has been around awhile and has done strong work. They would be my first option.

11PM

BRI-KO - South Theater

Not at all familiar with the other two shows. The show to see i n my book is Bri-Ko. Simple, silent, funny.

The ticket info for Sketchfest, click HERE.


THE BS NEWS QUIZ OF THE DAY

Yesterday, I asked...

"A Sri-Lankan company has come up with a new way to make treeless paper out of what?"

No one, NO ONE, said "rubber," "limestone," or "coconuts"

100% got it right with "elephant poop"
- why else would I ask if it wasn't "elephant poop"?

According to Treehugger.com, there’s a new line of eco-paper available, and for once, the term’s not an oxymoron. It’s from the Sri-Lankan based company Mr. Ellie Pooh, and yes, the paper really is made out of elephant poop. Why Harvest Elephant Poop for Paper in Sri Lanka? To save elephants, of course. It turns out that a tenth of the mere 40,000 Asian elephants worldwide live in Sri Lanka, where they’re killed due to their interference with agriculture. There’s no major ivory trade, and Sri Lankans don’t eat elephant meat, so the sole factor that elephants are being exterminated is because they’re a nuisance. If you think the whole idea of paper-from-elephant-poop seems to be a desperate effort—think again. An adult elephant creates 500 pounds of dung a day, making it a very reliable, very renewable resource.

And I can't think of anything better on which to write 365 sketches.



I wonder if they're hiring.

Moustache-A-Thon!

(Me and the soon-to-be mustache, Zed)

The beard is gone...for now.

It will return and will be the hairy thrown clay from which my spinning pottery wheel face will create...a moustache!

Don't panic. It's for a good cause. I am participating in 826's Moustache-A-Thon. A facial hair growing event designed to raise money for the non-profit writing/tutoring center for which I also volunteer.

It began yesterday, thus the RedEye to prove I was coming out of the starting gate clean shaven. I have until February 18th to grow an amazing moustache. My goal...The Zed!





My mustache shall be named Zed, after Sean Connery’s character in the great bad film Zardoz. Zed is a savage warrior who threatens the status quo of the distant future - as the movie tag lines say, beyond 1984, even 2001!

Each Zed whisker of mine shall be a tentacle of brute genius hellbent on vigilante justice. Zed shall single-lippedly hurl all other competitors into the Vortex of loserdom! At the end of Mustache-a-thon, all who remain shall kneel down before Zed!

Soon I will be able to link to a site where you may show your love and devotion to Zed through monetary gifts that will benefit 826.

* Sean Connery’s character also sports a ponytail, which I will not be attempting in fear of the excess neck and back strain the extra weight might cause.


SKETCHFEST PICKS FOR TONIGHT

8PM

PENNYBEAR - West Theater - Crazy off-center comedy featuring the awesome Nancy Friedrich. On the same bill as Broadminded, an all-fem gang from Milwaukee

9:30PM

ROBOT VS DINOSAUR - South Theater - Of course you should see this! This is the "hit single" version of our Are You There God? It's Me, Satan show. Great cast, funny scenes. On the same bill as Think Tank

THE FOWLER FAMILY RADIO HOUR and LOLA BALATRO - North Theater - If you can't get in to see RvD, or you already saw the hell show, check out these guys. Fowler has been around for years and has generated good buzz. Lola features Paul Thomas from The Breeders video I did. He is a funny, prolific guy. There will probably be a lot of great comedy music in both shows, too, if you're in to that sort of thing.

For ticket info, click HERE.


THE BS NEWS QUIZ OF THE DAY

Yesterday, I asked...

"An authorized sequel to the 1928 book 'The House at Pooh Corner" will be published soon and it is titled what?"

16% said "Much Ado Pooh"
- Featuring that melancholy dane, Piglet.

9% said "Son of Pooh"
- Where Pooh's offspring terrorizes New York City.

No one said "House Full of Pooh"

75% got it right with "Return to the Hundred Acre Wood"

According to BBC News, the Bear of Very Little Brain will make his comeback in Return to the Hundred Acre Wood, the first authorised sequel to Milne's original 1920s stories. "We hope that the many millions of Pooh enthusiasts and readers around the world will embrace and cherish these new stories as if they had just emerged from the pen of A A Milne himself," said Michael Brown of the Trustees of the Pooh Properties.

Yeah. Be careful with the phrase "pooh enthusiasts." Let's just say you don't want to Google it without the safesearch filter on.

I Believe...

...Rod Blagojevich is being controlled by a parasitic alien being that has latched on to his brain in the form of his hair. Here's a picture of a post-apocalyptic Blagojevich...



...Blagojevich is the new Britney Spears. Yes, impeach his ass, but there's more important things to focus on such as the economy and war criminals telling everyone they're leaving Washington with their heads held high, which is good news for the snipers.

...if you live in Chicago and bitch about the weather, you're an idiot. That's like someone in Hawaii bitching about the warmth. Throw fashion out the window, dress in layers, leave early, stock up on hot chocolate and cherish the times you get to hole up in a cozy warm apartment.

...that when Don Hall writes "I Believes" like "...that the dual nature of reason balancing faith is both perilous and absolutely essential to the human experience. Without reason, we are bound to accept the authority of demagogues and zealots; without faith we cannot find the hope that things can be better than they are.", he's clearly reading too many books and needs to go back to playing with his PSP (pretty small penis).

...it's easy for me to take a shot at Don because he writes his "I Believes" first and then I cut and paste them here and do my spin on them. If he didn't, I'd still be in bed playing with my PSP (pretty spectacular penis).

...I really don't give a rat's ass about what Sarah Palin has to say about anything. Move on, "news" reporters.


THE BS NEWS QUIZ OF THE DAY

Yesterday, I asked...

"Researchers at the University of Cambridge in England report that men are more likely to have financial success if they what?"

46% said "are born rich"
- Well, it does help you become a republican president in the United States.

39% said "have big feet"
- This is just an indicator their mother was a duck.

No one said "have beards"

15% got it right with "have long ring fingers"

According to The Associated Press, researchers at the University of Cambridge in England report that men with longer ring fingers, compared to their index fingers, tended to be more successful in the frantic high-frequency trading in the London financial district.

The same ring-to-index finger ratio has previously been associated with success in competitive sports such as soccer and basketball, the researchers noted.

Previous studies have found that having an extended ring finger can lead to increased confidence, risk preferences, search persistence, heightened vigilance and quickened reaction times.

So, ladies, stop checking out my geisha-like feet when we meet and start looking at my gangly ring finger as I sort the bills in my velcro wallet!

I'm So Old...

My friend Mo Feeney sent me an e-mail about her and her friends trying to describe how old they are. I know Mo
from high school, which means she, like me, is in her 40s. Unlike me, she doesn't look like it and
has absolutely no gray in her beard.

Her examples included:

- I'm so old, I remember when Colonel Sanders was actually in the KFC commercials.

- I'm so old, there was no soccer when I was growing up.

You can probably add to the first one, "I remember when Orville Redenbacher wasn't a creepy CGI." The second one
is probably more uniquely American and may depend on where you grew up.

I sense a new wave of humor similar to "Your Momma" jokes.

Here are my additions:

I'm so old, I remember...

...when phones had busy signals instead of being used to signal others you are busy.

...when the starship Enterprise only had a five year mission.

...when Batman wasn't scary, except when Frank Gorshin was playing The Riddler. Dude was a psycho.

...when I played board games on boards and needed other people to play them.

...when both Rock Hudson and Freddie Mercury were considered macho
heterosexuals.

...when Rod Stewart knew how to rock.

...when there were only five TV channels: ABC, NBC, CBS, PBS and some UHF channel that only came in when
your dad went up on the roof and moved the antenna. And I was the remote control!

...when the Burger King was the Burger Prince (cue rimshot)

...when Grimace was evil

...when phones were only as mobile as the length of their cord, when Caller ID seemed invasive, and answering
machines the size of city phonebooks used cassette tapes and beepers that made weird noises into the
phone to retrieve messages remotely, and I thought that was cool.

...using phonebooks.

...when e-mail was just mail and going to the mailbox was exciting.

...when going green was called ecology.

...public hair. What the hell happened to public hair? I blame the thong.

...when the Iraq war was called Vietnam.

...when radio deejays determined the music, not demographics or corporations.

By the way, the best thing you can do about getting older, is have a sense of humor about it. Besides, you're
only as old as you feel. I feel like a twenty-year-old. Preferably, a brunette.

If you have any "I'm so old..."s, please add them in the comment section. I'd love to see them.


THE BS NEWS QUIZ OF THE DAY

Yesterday, I asked...

"The Palm Beach County Sheriff's office is on the lookout for a man attempting
to steal ATMs while dressed as what?"

54% said "Mickey Mouse"
- Tough times. The mouse has got many mouths to feed.

10% said "a zombie"
- Brains...brains...I have no brains...

No one said "a cowboy"

36% got it right with "a ninja"

According to The Associated Press, the Palm Beach County Sheriff's Office says a heavyset man with a visible potbelly
and a ninja costume unsuccessfully tried to steal two different ATMs over the past two weeks. Security video from the
automated teller machines showed the unidentified man dressed in a black ninja outfit with a hood that showed
only his eyes.

Authorities did not say how the man tried to steal the machines.

Well, he was dressed as a ninja. He tried to steal the machines by sneaking up on them when they least expected it.
What the sheriff didn't comment on was how cumbersome the turtle shell on his back was.

I'm So Old...

My friend Mo Feeney sent me an e-mail of describing how old they are. I know Mo from high school

I'm so old, I remember when telephones had busy signals instead of being
used to signal others you are busy.
-I'm so old, I remember when tje first remake of
- I'm so old, I remember when Batman wasn't scary.
- I'm so old, I remember when I played board games on boards.
- I remember when both rock hudson and freddie mercury were considered macho
heterosexuals.
- I remember when rod stewart sang rock and roll
- I remember when there were only five TV channels: abc, nbc, cbs, pbs and some.
Uhf channel that only came in when your dad went up on the roof and moved the
antenna
- ...when the burger king was tje burger prince
... When grimace was evil
Landlines, caller I'd, ans machs
...When going green was called ecology
When the iraq war was called vietnam

Theater Review: Steve Allen's The Wake

The Wake
Written by Steve Allen
Directed by Elizabeth Styles
Presented by Chemically Imbalanced Comedy
Fridays and Saturdays at 8pm, Sundays at 5pm
Through February 15th For ticket info, click HERE










Always beware the author's name above the title, I think. Especially when it is in a field for which the author is not well known (To be honest, I don't think it was Steve Allen's idea to bill himself that way, but a marketing move on CIC's part). The danger with plays written by well-known people is that they tend to be of a quality where, if the author didn't have a name, they would probably not be produced very often (Picasso at the Lapin Agile, anyone?) With this play, CIC could be carving out a niche for themselves as the presenters of plays written by celebrities known better in other fields. They previously have produced The Book of Liz by Amy and David Sedaris and God by Woody Allen. There's a play out there written by Dudley Moore and Peter Cook that must be on their radar.

So, Steve Allen is the draw here, but his hey day was quite awhile ago, so you may not know who the heck he is.

What you probably already know about Steve Allen

In 1954, he was the first host of The Tonight Show. He brought comedy into late night television five nights a week back when the show was done live and 90 minutes long! The show is still running, still recreating the format he innovated. David Letterman has often sited him as a major influence. During this time, he also did a Sunday night comedy show that for four years went head-to-head to TV juggernaut, The Ed Sullivan Show. Trace elements of both The Tonight Show and The Steve Allen Show can be seen today in SNL. On The Steve Allen Show, the show was carried by an ensemble of journeymen comedians, such as Don Knotts, Tom Poston, Pat Harrington and Louis Nye.

What you probably don't know about Steve Allen

The fucker never stopped. Up until his death in 2000, he kept churning out material on practically everything. He has published over 54 books on a wide range of topics. For a complete list of his books, click HERE. He has written music for films, stage and television, portrayed Benny Goodman in The Benny Goodman Story, created several other TV shows including one of my favorites, Meeting of the Minds, where he played a talk show panel host negotiating conversation between Ben Franklin, Cleopatra and Galileo.

So, what about The Wake? Well, out of the huge outpouring of Steve Allen's brain, only one play popped out. The Wake is essentially Steve's version of Lost in Yonkers, written twenty years before Neil Simon's play made it to Broadway. In the 1930's, the Scanlon siblings, who have never gotten along, are gathering from far and wide for the wake of their mother, Bridget, "one of the few saints on earth." As she lies in her casket in the cluttered Scanlon living room, family emotions run wild with each new arrival. This is a deeply human and heartfelt portrait of a big brawling family filled with foibles, kindness, old wounds, and passion.

The problem with The Wake, is that there are so many Scanlons and friends, that it's impossible to tell whose story it is. Allen spends many lengthy scenes with tipsy Irish-Catholics going around philosophising and near fisticuffing, that there's no real strong throughline an audience member can hook on to. The first act is so loaded with meeting people that near its end, I was wondering to myself what there was to come back to after the intermission. As if on cue, one of the characters blurts out to another,"What are you going to do about David?" Oh, okay, so that's what this is about...I guess. What is Belle, based on Allen's ever touring actress/comedienne mother, going to do about her little boy. A boy needs her mother, right?

And then the second act chugs along until it resolves that question near the end. Boom, a play, now Steve Allen can go on writing a ton of other things, including a series of hack murder mysteries starring himself. Hey, who hasn't wanted to do that?

The production itself, while uneven and saddled with a lot blocking that screams "the director told me to move here, now," has some strong performances, especially from Eric Bays and Even Absher as brothers at odds because one stayed home and the other writes books and travels. Tremendously enjoyable are Julie Mitre and Patricia Tinsley as the aging and doting McCaffrey sisters. They take two small roles with very few lines and simultaneously bring a level of gravity to the reality of being at a wake while bringing a lot of levity via their comic performances. Quite a trick.

All the while, though, as much a problem with the script as the direction, is there's never a strong emotional sense that "mom is dead." People refer to her as being an anchor for the family, but we don't feel or see the loss of her presence, except in some references to what the character Josephine Scanlon is going through off stage.

Basically, the best thing The Wake has going for it is its curiosity value, if you are wondering what kind of play Steve Allen wrote.

NOTE TO AUDIENCE MEMBERS:

- "vibrate" isn't "silent"
- CIC is BYOB, but that doesn't mean you have to. If you bring wine, do you really need to bring stemware that you keep clanking together?
- if your phone rings during the final moments of the play, just quickly turn it off - don't answer it!
- And to the cute girl sitting next to me who had that ego-filled douchebag hanging all over her, well, he's a douchebag. And his "great" idea for a radio show on stage has been done before. Lifeline did it a few years ago with The Shadow, the same show he wants to do it with.

THE BS NEWS QUIZ OF THE DAY

On Friday, I asked...

"Dr. Richard Batista, a Long Island surgeon, is divorcing his wife and wants her to give back what?"

24% said "His money spent on breast implants"
- Or, let him get custody of them on weekends.

No one said "His shared wisdom" or "His high school varsity jacket"

76% got it right with "His kidney"

According to The Associated Press, Dr. Richard Batista, a surgeon at Nassau University Medical Center, told reporters at his lawyer's Long Island office Wednesday that he decided to go public with his demand for kidney compensation because he has grown frustrated with the negotiations with his estranged wife. He said he gave his kidney to Dawnell Batista, now 44, in June 2001. She filed for divorce in July 2005, although he claims she began having an extramarital affair 18 months to two years after receiving the kidney transplant, his attorney, Dominick Barbara said.

She's had it for eight years, now, buddy. Maybe just split it down the middle.