Wednesday, July 2, 2008

Grave Robbing Is In Vogue, Again

The BS News Quiz of the Day


Yesterday, I asked...


"According to the St. Louis Post-Dispatch, there is a nationwide rise in grave robberies and the main target of thievery is what?"

55% said "Diamond Rings"
- Why be buried with diamonds any way? Who they trying to impress? The worms?

22% said "Gold Teeth"
- Rogue gangs of cosmetic dentists trying to recoup their losses.

No one said "Crystal Skulls"

23% got it right with "Vases"

According to The St. Louis Post-Dispatch, gone are the days when enterprising thieves would dig up an old grave and pillage for gold teeth and rings. Today, it's mostly the bronze markers and flower vases that draw their attention. Rising scrap metal prices, coupled with the lagging economy, have triggered a string of cemetery thefts both locally and across the nation.

Relatives of the deceased are, of course, angry, but also have a reason to feel guilty. One of the cemetary managers said vases that had flowers in them were left alone.

This just bolsters my argument for biodegradable cemetaries. Not only should the casket be made out of high quality cardboard, but so should the headstone. Then once a year, til the soil and bury a whole new crop of people.

1 comment:

Henri said...

JOE JOE JOE... don't you know anything about crop rotation!?!? We have to rotate people and crops in order to form a healthier growing cycle and keep the earth replinished of the nutrients we take out of here. So, this year, you can visit Aunt Matilda at the Loving Memories Cemetary, and next year it'll be the 2009 Location of Ziggler Farms! See, cycles, it's all about cycles!