Wednesday, February 25, 2009

Week Six, Day Thirty-Eight - "That's Just Jay"

“That’s Just Jay”
Written by Joe Janes

CAST:
Amelia, 30s
Jay, 30s
Dick, 30s
Blaine, 30s
Roger, 50s

(Lights up on Dick walking up to Blaine sitting at his desk.)

DICK
So, you’ve met everyone, right, Blaine?

BLAINE
Yeah, Dick. Everyone except Jay. Everybody talks about him. Sounds like quite a character.

DICK
Boy is he ever. That guy gets away with murder. We all love him though, that’s just Jay!

(Jay enters.)

JAY
My ears are burning!

DICK
Jay!

JAY
Somebody must have been talking about me! Was it you, Dick Smoker? (Dick laughs) Was it you, New Guy?

BLAINE
We were just-

JAY
You know you sure do have a pretty mouth. (Dick laughs.)

BLAINE
Well, uh –

JAY
Squeal like a piggy for me! (Dick is doubled up in laughter, now)

BLAINE
My…pig…sounds…aren’t…good…

(Jay and Dick both crack up now.)


JAY
Did you hear him, Dick Smoker! New Guy’s golden! (Rubs Blaine’s head) Golden!

(Roger enters.)

ROGER
I hear laughter. Jay must have escaped his cubicle.

JAY
Hey, Boss Man! How’s it hanging, asshole? Still driving this company like a senior citizen into a crowded sidewalk?

(Dick and Roger crack up as Jay takes fake jabs at Roger’s stomach.)

BLAINE
You call the boss “asshole”?

ROGER (laughing)
That’s just Jay, Blaine. Oh, my. Oh, my sides…

(Amelia enters.)

JAY
Wowsy-wowsy-wowser! Amelia! Who needs little blue pills when those boobies of yours can cause instant boners? Ba-boom! That tight little blouse makes your rack look like Iraq!

(Amelia, Jay and Dick all laugh.)

BLAINE
That didn’t even make sense.

JAY
Hey, Amelia, have you met New Guy?

AMELIA
I have. Hi, Blaine.

BLAINE
That blouse looks nice on you, Amelia.

(Dead silence.)

AMELIA
Creep.

(She exits.)

JAY
Sure do have a way with the ladies, New Guy.

(He exits.)

BLAINE
But, he –

ROGER
I’m afraid I’ll have to write you up.

(Roger exits, shaking his head disapprovingly.)

DICK
You disgust me.

(He exits. Blackout.)

1 comment:

idjar said...

And that's exactly why I never compliment any of the perky breasted wenches where I work!