Written by Joe Janes
18 of 365
Kimberly, late 20s
(Lights up on Kimberly and Wendy sitting at their respective desks. Kimberly is downstage right and Wendy is up left angled slightly away from Kimberly. There’s a small “ding” sound. Kimberly just received an e-mail.)
Did you just send me an e-mail?
KIMBERLY (without turning her head)
KIMBERLY (without turning her head)
KIMBERLYYou just sent me an e-mail, Wendy.
WENDY (looking at screen)Um, oh, yeah. What do you know? I guess I did.
KIMBERLYI’m ten feet away from you.
WENDYI know. I wasn’t thinking. Did you read it?
KIMBERLY (reads the e-mail, rolls her eyes)Wendy, nobody does Friendster any more.
WENDY (rolls over to Kimberly in her office chair)What’s that, Kimberly?
KIMBERLYNobody does Friendster anymore. People do Facebook.
WENDYFacebook? Gotcha. You’re on Facebook?
KIMBERLYNo. I’m not. And I’m not on Friendster.
WENDYGotcha. (She rolls back to her desk. Kimberly sighs. Wendy rolls back.) Hmmm?
WENDYDid you say something to me?
WENDYOkay. (She rolls back and starts working at her computer. Kimberly resumes work and there’s another “ding.” She rolls her eyes. Wendy keeps working but also keeps looking over at Kimberly. Suddenly, there’s a “ding ding” at Kimberly’s computer.)
KIMBERLYWhy are you instant messaging me? I’m right here?
WENDYUm, oh. Okay. Sorry. You looked busy. I didn’t want to disturb you. Did you get my evite?
KIMBERLY (checking)Yes. I got your evite.
WENDY (rolls over to Kimberly)Yeah? Does it sound like fun? Do you like bowling?
KIMBERLYNo. Not really.
WENDYThat’s cool. We can do something else.
KIMBERLYWhy would you want to do something else? It’s your (reading screen) Birthday Bowling Bash.
WENDYI want everyone to have a good time. Not everyone likes bowling. What would you like to do, Kimberly?
KIMBERLYWendy. Here’s the thing. I have my job and I have my life outside my job. I like to keep them separate. Do you understand?
WENDYSure. Gotcha. (She rolls back, sadly. She sits at her computer, listlessly typing. She sniffs a bit. Kimberly, feeling the guilt, walks over to her.)
KIMBERLYIt’s nothing personal, Wendy. Did you get any other responses from your evite?
WENDYI only sent it to you.
KIMBERLYYou sent an evite to your Birthday Bowling Bash only to me?
WENDYMy 30th Birthday Bowling Bash.
KIMBERLYYour 30th? Why would you do that?
WENDYYou’ll just laugh at me.
KIMBERLYI promise I won’t laugh.
WENDYI think you’re cool.
KIMBERLYYou think I’m cool? Wendy, this isn’t high school. It’s work.
WENDYI know. I know. It’s stupid. I still think you’re cool. And I wanted to hang out with you on my birthday.
KIMBERLYWendy, I already hang out with you more than any other human being on the planet.
KIMBERLYWe hang out eight hours a day five days a week.
WENDYYou do! Except when you go to lunch. Or on unscheduled breaks,
KIMBERLYHappy birthday. Really. Happy birthday. I just like to keep my life in different compartments, Wendy. I have my co-workers; I have my family and friends. I like to leave my work at work. If I have a friend who is also a co-worker, you know what we’ll do when we get together?
WENDY (excited by the idea)No, what will we do?
KIMBERLYWe’ll talk about work.
WENDYYeah. That Mr. O’Connell. Ooh, he makes me mad sometimes. He’s so high strung. Why doesn’t he just die of a heart attack, already?
KIMBERLY (cutting her off)Wendy, Wendy! I don’t want to talk about work when I’m not at work. Do you understand? Work at work.
WENDYSure. I understand. I’m the same way, really. I have work and I have my “not” work. Work stays here. Birds, Scrabble, decorating my jeans jackets with rhinestones and metal studs, washing my mother’s hair, all stays at home.
KIMBERLYGood. What are you doing for your birthday?
WENDYI just told you.
KIMBERLYYou’re washing your mother’s hair on your birthday?
WENDYAfter we play Scrabble and decorate our matching jean jackets.
(Awkward hopeful pause)
KIMBERLYSounds like a good time.
WENDYDo you want-?
(Kimberly stops her with a look and a raised index finger. Wendy sheepishly smiles and nods and mime “locks” her lips as she returns to work. Kimberly goes back to her desk and back to work. There’s a “ding.”)
KIMBERLYI told you I’m not on Facebook!